Sunday, May 27, 2007

Bipolar stability through strength

Hi,

How's it going? You know what's funny, someone wrote
me yesterday that they wondered how I had so
much time to write emails about bipolar disorder
every day.

Well the answer is, I make time. NO I don't
have bipolar disorder and I am not in a
long running manic episode writing emails
about the subject--just in case you
were wondering.

It's been hard these last few days to write
my daily emails on bipolar disorder because
I don't feel well but I still get up and
do it.

Today I wanted to talk quickly about what
I call "bipolar stability through strength."

This concept comes from a Cold War Strategy
called "Peace through strength."

"Peace through Strength" is the doctrine that
military strength is a primary or necessary
component of peace. This philosophy is a major
reason cited for large militaries,
and also served as the primary motivation
behind the Cold War doctrine of building
up a huge military.

This isn't an email about the Cold War or
military strategies BUT, this concept
is important for bipolar disorder.

Over the years, I noticed with my mom,
the weaker and the more we bent during
her episodes the worse they were and
became. The stronger we were or
recently since I am my mom's primary
supporter, the stronger I was and
the less I bent, the more stable she
was.

For example, for most of my life, if
my mom was in an episode and demanded
this or that, let's say a large expensive
purchase that was not necessary, instead
of my dad saying no, he would let her
make it and figure out a way to pay for
it later on.

This ultimately led to my mom demanding
another purchase and then years pasted
with many bad purchases which created
a huge financial loss.

It wasn't just finances either. Things
like allowing my mom to dictate NO vacations
or not eating together during dinner
were the norm.

Each time, my dad never wanted to "upset"
or "argue" with my mom so he gave in,
which is a form of weakness.

As a result, there were no vacations,
we maybe eat dinner together outside of
Thanksgiving, 10 times in 15 to 20
years which is really strange.

When I started supporting my mom,
I realized that my dad's strategy failed
and there would have to be a new one.

I was thinking about Ronald Regan one
day and about how he advocated "peace
through strength" when dealing with
with the Soviet Union.

That made sense to me and I adopted a
similar strategy.

I am not mean to my mom but there are
certain things I do not bend on no matter
what. No matter if my mom cries, screams,
yells, etc.

Things like spending money, not going
to the doctor, not going to therapy,
not taking medication, or not following
all the parts of her bipolar stability
equation. I never bend on these things.

There are thousands and I mean thousands
of people on my list that bend all the
time to whatever their loved one demands.

And generally these people have a nightmare
life. If you are a caretaker of someone
with bipolar disorder, you aren't doing them
any good by not being strong when they
are in an episode.

My mom for example is HAPPY that I am strong
when she is in an episode. For example,
she realizes if someone was strong and
stopped her from spending money years ago,
she wouldn't have had to pay off $30,000
of d.ebt.

OR if my dad had required vacations or
meals to be eaten at a table together she
would have memories of these things but
there aren't any because they didn't
exist.

I am not bashing my dad but he did make
a number of mistakes and you can learn from
him. He knows now what he did and encourages
me to let everyone know through my "thing"
as he likes to call it. He calls my
email list "that thing."

Anyway, you'll notice that in my courses/
systems, supporters are strong when they
need to be and those with bipolar disorder
who are interviewed are happy they have
strong supporters.



SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

If you find yourself bending, caving
in, always having to do what you
know is not right, then you have a serious
problem. You need to strongly consider
changing strategies. Other wise
your loved one's bipolar disorder
will probably destroy you.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
https://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can't learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

68 Comments:

At 8:34 AM, Blogger sassy said...

Hi Dave,
What happens when the shoe is on the other foot??? What if the person who has the (Episode) as you like to refer to them, is being TOLD that they WILL ALWAYS have to take meds FOREVER by their spouse. It seems that my wonderful hubby and our doctor spent HIS last appointment time talking about ME, Without me even being there. That really teed me off for starters. He has my husband convinced that I should be and will always have to be on med for being Bipolar. I took myself off my meds about 5 months ago and I feel great. I do take Xanax 2 or 3 times a day depending on how much complaining I have heard from people, or what kind of mood I am in.
I CAN and DO handle myself and my DISEASE without meds at this time.
Thanks for listening.
Susan B.

 
At 9:12 AM, Blogger kdsanta said...

I am still missing Mini Course # 4 & 5
If you could e-mail it to me it would help me with my girl friend.
Thank You

 
At 9:36 AM, Blogger George Edward Purdy said...

Your position of strength is easy because you are the son, not the husband. She cannot divorce her son. You will always be her son. A bipolar or borderline person can and will divorce a mate that doesn't indulge them. Your expectations of a husband or boyfriend in this scenario are unrealistic, and are based solely on your position in her life.

 
At 9:55 AM, Blogger Mari said...

One of your best

 
At 9:56 AM, Blogger emma said...

Dave, you're right on the money! I hope all the parents especially pay attention to this. Our kids make so, so many demands and they are insatiable- no matter what we give or allow, they only remember the many things we had to say "no" to. Every "no" feeds into their perception that we love their siblings (even the dog) more, even though they get far more of our attention, energy and often money than anyone else in the family.
My daughter is 16 and now in a military boot camp because of an incident of writing on the bathroom walls at school 3 years ago. That put her on probation (with some very strict rules)and she's had numerous probation violations since. She wasn't able to manipulate the court system. Now she's getting RULES that don't bend, structure, exercise, school, meds and daily therapy. I hope she's learning to accept authority, follow rules, and be honest, but I also know that I need to make changes when she comes home. Thanks, Dave.

 
At 10:23 AM, Blogger Michele said...

Hi Dave,

I am the wife of a bipolar husband. I agree with George that every situation and person with bipolar is different. I am also confused by your email since I thought I saw on your site that you're not supposed to question the bipolar's spending and behavior when they are in an episode. I am currently separated from my bipolar husband because I can no longer handle his abuse. Many doctors and hospitalizations later, he just wore me down. I was a pilar of strength according to others during all these years. Now I have a chronic pain condition and can longer take care of him. He, like Sassy, said he felt great when he was off his meds but he couldn't control his behavior. I will continue to try to help him in some ways but connot live with him.

 
At 10:55 AM, Blogger David Oliver said...

To Emma,

Very good post. Everyone read her post a few days. Very good points.

Dave

 
At 11:04 AM, Blogger nanayko said...

Hi Dave:

Thank you for all your e-mail. I look forward getting into the mail when I see information from you! I hope you keep in touch. Keep up the good work!

Melanie

 
At 11:59 AM, Blogger linda299 said...

Thank you, George Edward Purdy, for saying what I've been thinking! A spouse has to achieve a balancing act with their position of strength that a son/daughter does not. A child will always legally be able to come back tomorrow. Spouses may very well find themselves in divorce court, dividing all the assets they worked so hard to protect. Your dad who always "gave in" did not have the same advantage as you. HE could always be thrown out of the family at her whim, but not you. So... what is a spouse to do?

 
At 12:42 PM, Blogger victoria.wales said...

When I read these bloggs it helps me alleb=viate some of the pain I feel.

Right now after many good weeks my partner is off on one and it hurts me to see him ignore my son. He refuses to talk to him he is only 6 1/2 yet my partner insist he is a spoilt brat and annoy's the sh*t out of him. I'm at my wits end as I know my son can be frustrating but still cooking dinner and expecting me to sort out my son's dinner separately is beyond me? He says I've he has been nice but thats it he gonna be mean from now on to my son and now i wonder if this will affect him psychologically too. How do you keep my partners illness from affecting a child?

 
At 2:12 PM, Blogger kiracan said...

Dear Dave,
Thank you for your continued dedication to informing the world of the oh so necessary information (so widely undistributed, through the medical/mental health channels) on living with someone with bi-polar disorder or being a person with bi-polar disorder living in a non bi-polar world.
I recently took myself off of all of my medications, including the ones for anxiety/depression, ADD/ADHD, and sleep disorder/insomnia because of becoming extreemly FEARFUL of the longterm side effects from the medications with questions like, "why is Depakote, a medication used to treat epilepsy, being used for people with bi-polar disorder?" Am I in the middle of a severe episode and not realizing it? Is there any foundation to my FEARS? I don't see the Doctor until this week, can you offer any suggestions? I can't help but feel like I am being used as a testing guinea pig as I am being treated through a local mental health facility where I am being monitored/regulated, I also am on various pharmecutical prescription assistance programs so I can obtain medication due to the fact that I am currently unenployed and have no medical insurance coverage.
I don't deny that I need medication, I just don't know if I'm getting the appropriate medication and or treatment. Since I've been on massive medications, (approximately 18 months), I have not been able to remain employed. Do you know anything about how this Disease/Disorder can affect an individual in this regard? I've always tried to believe that one thing had nothing to do with the other, but now I'm not so sure. My initial diagnosis was Borderline Personality Disorder with accute social anxiety. With treatment, it became apparent that I had more than one or two ISSUES to deal with. Is this common with other people with BPD?
I would appreciate any feedback you can offer.
Just so you know, you do make a difference, and THANK YOU for all that you do, especially when you don't feel well, but do it anyway.
Sincerly,
Kirsten R.

 
At 2:45 PM, Blogger zina r. tate said...

Dear Dave,
I an currently residing in a homeless shelter and have no income, I was evaluated and diagnosed with having bipolar disorder. I would very much like your help and suggestions on what to do about this however, I am unable to afford your classes and/or programs. Do you have any type of financial aid or any recommendations on how I can go about recieving your help with no money? If so please get back to me via e-mail at zrtfdh@yahoo.com.

Thank you!
Sincerely,
Zina R. Tate

 
At 4:50 PM, Blogger puzzled husband said...

hi dave ,
this is my firstime writing about the wife , who has bi-polor, at the moment is in the local hospital. and has left me hi and dry over the conferdencality rules, as the staff has said that she (wife) has told them not to allow any and I mean any information about her treatment and other , to me so what do I do.
does any one know how to get around this problem, we do have a young child and its upseting her as well... the staff has said to me that if my wife wants to can even , I would not even know that the wife is in hospital.. but one day they will release her hopefuly home to me, and be expected to cope with the problems I've had over 17 years....with not a pearson to talk too if there is
another relapse. help?

 
At 5:40 PM, Blogger Mary Ann said...

Suppose as a spouse you have to do what you feel is right for you. we all have to take responsibility for our own lives. Make a decision then deal with the consequences until it is time to perhaps make another decision. I would say don't just drift out of control if you are supporting someone. Easier said than done though, I know!

 
At 5:45 PM, Blogger sftwining said...

Hi Dave,

I have a 22 year old daughter, who has been in a mania state for almost a month now. She has only seen her 2 year old daughter for maybe a total of 10 hours in the last month. She is out party (drinking and getting high and god knows what else...) She is not talking about moving to California (we live on the east coast. She thinks that she will get her daughter back...fat chance...(she is with her father).
I am at a lost with her she thinks nothing is work with her, and stopped her meds.

I am trying to be strong as you discussed in your email...I have cut her off with money and a vehicle...but this is not slowing her down..she has bad blisters on her feet from walking every where.

I am so afraid of getting a call that something horrible has happened and am afraid that if she goes to California she may end up doing things whatever she can to make money....

So, the tough love don't work, talking don't work...there seems to be nothing left to do...

 
At 7:39 PM, Blogger cinderella said...

i used to give in all the time. now im stronger with my husband and i have to be strong for my son

 
At 11:30 PM, Blogger Karen said...

Hi Dave,
I justed wanted to let you know that I read all of your e-mails on bi-polar and I find that I have gained so much from them. I have bi-polar 2 and if I knew half of what I've learned from you I think I would still be married.
What you said in you e-mail dated 5-27 about being strict with people with bi-polar and not letting them get there way is so right. In the past year alone I have gained more knowledge on having bi-polar and I incuredge my support group to learn as much as possible also. Every thing I read I pass along to them. I feel much stronger with knowledge and they know how to handle me if and when they need to.
I have become more responsible with my own finances and it is such a good feeling. If I'm not sure about something I ask my sister Kim. Kim is my biggest supporter. I am honest with her and my children about everything. I have a safe place to go when I'm feeling stressed and I get what I need when I'm there.
Well I just wanted to say thank you again.
Best wishes to you and your parents. Keep up the good work.
Karen

 
At 5:47 AM, Blogger Heaven said...

Do you think perhaps that men do not know how to be men anymore??? They have become so emasculated not able to make decisions or take responsibility for themselves let alone their families?? Is this a distinct possibility? Real men of the world where are you? i dont know any here. May be i am on the wong island.

 
At 1:08 PM, Blogger Ziggy said...

I was wondering if you had anyone talk to you of lithium intoxicity. I think I went through one of the worst possible episode. About 3 yrs ago I was on lithium, something that I had been on for yrs before,well the doctor put me on lithium and remeron, the remeron made me close to 75 pounds heavier,this over the time of about a yr.My body and legs and ankles had blown up to like twice thier size,I went to doctor got all the blood work done for lithium , it was showing as normal.As the months went by I eas getting sicker and sicker, although I didnt know it, it got so bad that by the time they found that it was the lithuim, I couldnt finish a sentence,they ended up giving me 2 tranfusions of blood and a pacemaker put in. Please let others know to check thier lithium level diligently,my case was a rare one, the only reason they didnt catch it earlier is cause is had been stored in my fatty tissue.I hope this helps others taking lithium. I no longer take lithium and am currently on different meds.

 
At 3:28 PM, Blogger Keli said...

I want you to know how much your emails have helped me deal with the issue with my spouse. He is undiagnosed bi-polar. Today was a very important message from you as I have been the one much like your dad. Rather to give in than to fight. My husband "self-medicates" with crystal meth and alcohol. He now needs to get help with the actual issue or the need for your emails will no longer exist. I have come to the conclusion I have to be the 'grown-up" and make choices for myself. I am the chronic enabler. I just want you to know that I appreciate all of the help you have given me over the last year. Keep it up!
Thanks!
Keli

 
At 5:12 PM, Blogger big_blue_eyes662000 said...

hi dave, hi i have bi-polor i have not over come this i am not sure how i take my several meds everyday for this bi-polor and its like every 4 months my body ajust to it and i end up cutting and i end up back in the hosp and thay just add a new pill i try to keep the same dr in the hosp so thay know what thay r dilling with i have 3 girls that r bi-polor also but we all have diffrent ways of showing it i geuss u could say when i get so depressed and i cut it is because i feel like i am a very bad person and i have to punish myself and it realivies some of the stress i am going thru at that point in time i have been doing ur bi-polor courses i just dont know what to do when my meds stop working and thay just give u one more pill to take i take 9 in the am and 10 at pm

 
At 9:19 PM, Blogger angie said...

stability through strength....i believe it can work..although my boyfriend is going thru an episode and his family actually has to be his strength..i live to far and dont see him but 2-3 times a month. when he goes thru his episoides...i tell him this is the reason we should see each other more..how can i learn how to handle a situation?

I feel like I should leave the relationship..but sometimes I see what I can actually do for him. But, I'm not around enough to help him.

I have a son with bipolar also and he lives out of state. I know when he is going thru an episode just by the way he talks to me.

Actually glad, I found this site. I found many of them with book instructions on what to say..but, still dont know if I should stay or go.

 
At 9:10 AM, Blogger Blondie42 said...

Hi. I just found this blogger sight. I have so many mental health issues in my family. My older brother was schizophrenic but died in an accident 25 years ago. I was so afraid of him because he did the weirdest things that scared the crap out of me. Our family didn't know then what he had. My younger adopted brother is bipolar. I feel very sad sometimes about him. He has such great potential as a chef and he is a great guy but I find that I am so afraid of him because he lashes out at the slightest words sometimes. When I see him he sometimes looks like he has a hangover and he hasn't slept in a long time. I feel very sad and wonder many times what kind of life can he have? Knowing now what he has explains alot of what was happening when he was a child. We adopted him when he was a year and a half old. The system here doesn't do a heck of alot for him. He works as much as he can but he doesn't hang around the family too much because too much excitement sets him off. How do I overcome the fears that I have? There has been so many unsettled times with both of my brothers that it has left me a very fearful person. My mom sometimes says "Why don't you drive him up here to Orangeville to visit sometimes when you come up?" Part of me would love to but part of me is very scared. What if he has an episode when I am driving? I hate the fact that I am afraid of him, but he is much taller and bigger than I am (I am am only 5 ft tall) What can I do? The slightest bit of words between us and it sets him off. Any help for me?

 
At 6:51 PM, Blogger shirey said...

Hi Dave I have reading your e-mails for about 3 months now. They are great. My son is 22 with bipolar. He has a daughter 3 months old. He just got out of the hospital for the 3rd time. He is perscribed Depokote. He abuses the meds.when he gets them. When he has an episoded, he gets very violent. He distroyed his bedroom. Smashed his windowes, took a hammer to his tv,ripped the door off the hindges. I am very afraid to be alone with him. My husband workes 2nd shift and is not there to see the episodes. He does not except that he is bipolar. He just wants to kick him out. I am at the point where I just want to move out.I can't deal with my son and husband too. You are my only hope. I am an enabler to and I know I have to stop being one. So I am going to try to press on and see how things go. Thank you again! And thanks for listening!

 
At 9:38 PM, Blogger Virtues said...

zrtfdh@yahoo.com.

To Zina R. Tate please contact me at nci_sellstrom @yahoo.com. I could help you in financing your education of Bipolar sessions. Please call me 281-895-7012 or e-mail me at my office. This is my charity work for now. I am vernie and have read about your plight for bipolar seesion financial difficulty.

 
At 12:43 AM, Blogger MOW MOW said...

i took depakote and respirdal for over a year and i'm stable and feel great.

 
At 11:08 AM, Blogger Melody said...

I have been bi-polar for many years. I have been abused by the "best" psychiatrist. I have no hope. I'm sure like everyone else they can not control their episodes. I know when they are coming but can't stop it. All meds have failed and said no to ECT. Last resort. I have no hope.

 
At 12:36 PM, Blogger Tracy said...

I am trying to learn this. I have a hard time saying "no" to my husband who just got diagnosed as being bipolar. Now I realize there is a reason for his behaviors and just as much as he is trying to control it through meds and therapy I also have a responsibilty to halp him and our family. I am much like your father Dave, I think of ways to pay for crazy spending habits after it is done. However we are behind on our house payment and car payment. I now know why we had to file bankruptsy 3 years ago. Thanks for the reminder I have to be strong.

I am going to add that I feel so angry sometimes when he spends money to buy things for himself when I go all the time without doing many things for myself. I feel I get get shaft so many times. I Often wish I could and would go out and spend money for things for myself and the kids.

 
At 1:38 PM, Blogger lilredhead said...

dave, its a worldwind of HELL! i haven't found a medicine for bipolar i can take its all to strong for me even the lowest dosage. i feel so traped inside my self just begging and screaming to be set free. its an imbarrasment and i'm ALWAYS under such scrutny from my husbands family and the police department u should see how people look at me it hurts so bad sometimes i feel like the post office people lets have a shoot out i'll never do that but it does cross my mind.i can actually beat my m-i-l to a pulp she always cuts me down in the front of my kids damn her. help help help

 
At 3:38 PM, Blogger .phparin said...

Hi Dave
I think I came too late for feed-back on my own problem.
Thanks for your info regarding Bi-Polar. I was diagnosed not long ago and they gave me some medications that I just dropped out of my window, because they constipate me and I have to overcome with pain and sorrow.
I hope people can find help through medication.

 
At 9:50 AM, Blogger JP said...

Dave,
Thanks so much for your emails. I appreciate the insight. I would like to order some of your courses but am not able to at this time. I understand the need for charging for them, but that does not help the finances. At least my husband is now receiving Social Security, so things are getting better, but we still have a long way to go.

I am lucky that my husband has been pretty stable for quite awhile now. At the suggestion of our therapist was willing to give me Power of Attorney (financial, medical and mental) so that if things get bad again I now have the tools I need to take care of both of us.

When I vowed "in sickness and in health" I sure didn't expect this! But God is with us and thanks to people like you I find the things I need to carry on.

God bless you and your work!
JP

 
At 9:40 AM, Blogger jayriv07 said...

hey whats up?

My name is Jeffrey L. Rivera and i am 19 years old. I am diagnosed with Bi polar disorder. I am having a problem getting along with my mother. The reason for this is because she has deppression while i am trying to survive this crazy disorder. I feel that whether she wants me to do good or bad it just doesent make a different on how she feels. But even when we collide it feels that whether its me or her we both cant come to a conclusion on what to do. I am currently in the midths of taking my meds. but the doctors say that without medicade it wont make a difference because i cant seem to stay stable.I read your stries and get help but its hard to talk when oppisites attract. In my eyes i feel like i am a bright,Smart,and loving Kid, But in hers i see haze. I just want to know if you can help me with this situation before i make a bad one....



Thanks alot

Jeffrey Rivera

 
At 12:11 AM, Blogger caforjaz said...

Hi Dave !
I really love your emails . They help me to donīt feel so alone in this journey .My 20 y-old daughter was bp diagnosed about 5 months ago , when she was in a big maniac episode ,after take a lot of meds wrong together ,because at first we think she has ADHD ,and her doc prescribe Paroxetine for her .Take an anti depressant med make her get into that maniac episode .Well , since then , iīm encharge of everything that is related with make her be healthy again ; so i put all meds that i found at home in a case with a secret to open , and just me knows it .
I organize and give to her all meds at the right time , i go with her to the doctor visits once a week , i say "no" when it īs necessary , i encourage her to not give up and stay in meds and not give up of her dreams .
It īs so hard to see your only daughter instable , having to stop college (she was starting to study to became a lawyer),feeling so bad about herself ( now she is in a depression time ),having to change meds almost weekly , like if never she will be "she " again !
But i stay there , walking side by side her no mather what happens. Sometimes i feel so tired !Sometimes i would like to vanish ... but she needs me , and i hope she will be able to take care of herself again .
Thanks for being there , Dave .
It īs a blessing to counting on you .
Carmen

 
At 11:27 PM, Blogger Karen said...

I have a question...it may be silly but any ways i was just wondering if vertigo,stomach cramps, and migraines could be side effects to this disorder, you see because i haven't quite gotten diagnosed with this disorder with my doctor, but i took a test online for people who believe that they have this disorder.. and i got the results and it said to refer to my doctor immediately and i did a while back but she said that i had to see my other doctor about it and i haven't been able to because of my stomach episodes and i was more concerned with getting away from my step mom who was abusing me. And now i am finally away from her, but like i said my stomach episodes have been taking me to the emergency room and all that so, but anyways if i could just get an answer from my question that would be help tremendously because i have had this problem since i was a a baby pretty much. And the doctors can't figure out what might be causing all this to happen,but if it is possible that my disorder could be causing it...Then maybe i could get better help knowing what is wrong

 
At 5:30 PM, Blogger amber said...

Hi, I received the first e-mail from you today, helpful thank you. I was diagnosed with bipolar at thirteen, the first time. I am now 28 and have been on a down hill roller coaster for two years. I have lost custody of all three of my children, my home, the ability to drive, and any hope of a decent minimum wage job. I recently unleashed a fit of rage upon my younger brother and destroyed our friendship. I have had my fill of my own crap. I know it is in the best interest of all for me to get it together and keep working until I do, but I really don't know how to start. I have taken every drug they want to give me, but stop because I seem to feel worse, either in my own head and on occasion physically intolerant. I will be back on meds soon, but I have pushed everyone away that once cared. What could I do to help keep it together on my own? I truly wish to succeed. Is there any advice ( from anyone ) that could help me start the journey back up hill?

 
At 11:13 AM, Blogger kalva70 said...

I was reading your page and about your book and materials and they seem wonderful but as I am supporting someone who is bipolar who I am unsure if he realizes this yet I think he just thinks he is depressed but I know from living with him for 14 yrs he is bipolar I can not afford anything like that. I am so financially strapped because of him barely working every time he gets a job he quits now he is working p/t but we are stuck in a lease so I can no t move somewhere less expensive until the lease is over so although everything you offer seems great for someone like me going through this with my spouse it seems like 199.95 is $1 million but I did want to say it does seem like an awesome resource! and wish I could afford it. Are there any of your books you wrote in th e library by any chance or what other chances does someone like me have of actually reading them?

 
At 12:49 PM, Blogger Cristina Noble said...

Hi Dave,
As I said, I donīt write very well in english, anyway I'll try to explain my problem. My son who is 23 years old, and had en maniatic episode a year ago, donīt want to be with us, his family, today, 31 december. He said that he didnīt know that we would be with other friends and try to make feel us ghilty because he said that tonight he would stay to be all together. He is litle angry and disapointe, not with us but with himself. What would be better for him, that I canceled all and stay with him, even my husband would be very angry, o tryed to convince him to come with us?
Tnak for listening.
Cristina N.

 
At 9:35 PM, Blogger Linda Clift said...

Hi Dave,

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