BP – Blessing in Disguise
There was a time when bipolar disorder was a dark shade against my window of the world, but eventually I got better. Now I believe that my bipolar disorder is really kind of a blessing in disguise.
I was working as a medical transcriptionist in a hospital when I “lost it” and had to be hospitalized, where I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
I was really happy about that, because I knew for years that something was wrong with me, I just didn’t know what it was. I know that my life had become totally unmanageable because of it, whatever the cause.
One of the biggest problems was that I was a workaholic and a perfectionist – and the two don’t go too well together for your mental health, if you know what I mean. I was bound to crash at some point.
I expected too much from myself, much more than other people expected of me or that I would ever expect from someone else. So I broke.
Also, I was an alcoholic and drug addict. I’m not sure which came first, the alcoholism and drug addiction, or the bipolar disorder (where I was self-medicating the disorder), but I was certainly out of control.
Sometimes I think that the bipolar disorder was a great big STOP sign for me. It made me stop and take a look at how I was living and that I wasn’t taking care of myself; working too hard, having the wrong priorities, making poor choices, etc.
I lost my job because of the bipolar disorder, but today that is a blessing, because I’m able to work from home in a stress-free environment, which my former workplace absolutely was not.
I can also work around my “bad bipolar days,” unlike it used to be when I worked at the hospital – on days like those I used to have to use a sick day to manage them.
Now I do work that I love. Here’s what I’m talking about: I was very good at being a medical transcriptionist, but I didn’t love it. It makes a big difference when you are doing what you love – and getting paid for it! Plus I’m able to be myself now. I don’t have to worry about what other people think, or try to hide my bipolar disorder.
I’ve had to do a lot of self-examination because of the disorder, and I have grown and emerged a stable person who is very happy with her life.
Yes, I’d say that the bipolar disorder was actually a blessing in disguise.
Wishing you joy and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
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There was a time when bipolar disorder was a dark shade against my window of the world, but eventually I got better. Now I believe that my bipolar disorder is really kind of a blessing in disguise.
I was working as a medical transcriptionist in a hospital when I “lost it” and had to be hospitalized, where I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
I was really happy about that, because I knew for years that something was wrong with me, I just didn’t know what it was. I know that my life had become totally unmanageable because of it, whatever the cause.
One of the biggest problems was that I was a workaholic and a perfectionist – and the two don’t go too well together for your mental health, if you know what I mean. I was bound to crash at some point.
I expected too much from myself, much more than other people expected of me or that I would ever expect from someone else. So I broke.
Also, I was an alcoholic and drug addict. I’m not sure which came first, the alcoholism and drug addiction, or the bipolar disorder (where I was self-medicating the disorder), but I was certainly out of control.
Sometimes I think that the bipolar disorder was a great big STOP sign for me. It made me stop and take a look at how I was living and that I wasn’t taking care of myself; working too hard, having the wrong priorities, making poor choices, etc.
I lost my job because of the bipolar disorder, but today that is a blessing, because I’m able to work from home in a stress-free environment, which my former workplace absolutely was not.
I can also work around my “bad bipolar days,” unlike it used to be when I worked at the hospital – on days like those I used to have to use a sick day to manage them.
Now I do work that I love. Here’s what I’m talking about: I was very good at being a medical transcriptionist, but I didn’t love it. It makes a big difference when you are doing what you love – and getting paid for it! Plus I’m able to be myself now. I don’t have to worry about what other people think, or try to hide my bipolar disorder.
I’ve had to do a lot of self-examination because of the disorder, and I have grown and emerged a stable person who is very happy with her life.
Yes, I’d say that the bipolar disorder was actually a blessing in disguise.
Wishing you joy and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
About Author
MICHELE SOLOWAY
Michele Soloway shares regularly on the ups and downs of dealing with bipolar disorder, along with personal insights, lessons learned, and encouragement for others who also have bipolar disorder.