Don’t stop this work you are doing in me Lord until I can praise You when I am bleeding. I had forgotten what it was like to suffer. I felt like the figure in the picture the scream. My sanity melted into the floor of the hospital last week as I walked in…. as I cried out to God. I do not want to speak for God. But He allowed it for many reasons. He is full of grace but He calls us to obedience. Obedience equals blessing and the converse is true. He is always gracious and there are very righteous people who suffer intensely. Look at Job. But it would behoove us all to live in right standing with His word. If you are set upon knowing Christ recall what the word tells us. “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings…” (Philippians 3:10) Also, He was made perfect through suffering or He learned obedience through suffering. (Hebrews 2:10) I wish I could lay in my bed and worship God, be in His presence, and read His words for the rest of my life. It is in that stillness that the bipolar runs away …it must flee in the face of my God. I had two areas of weakness last year, two monkeys on my back. I fought hard. I thought I had mastered them but I was wrong. Bipolar people need to be alert and guard their hearts. Impulsivity seems to be king in the bipolar being. Patience and waiting and being still are good courses of action or non action. Bring out goodness in me God. Let me bring loving-kindness wherever I go. Stop me from outbursts of anger or frustration. Let me forgive myself when I falter. May I be good to God, others, and me. Jesus is the Prince of peace and bipolar people need to let Him in their hearts. Praising God will save your downward spiraling existence. Thanking God even when the nails go down the chalk- board of life will put you on the mountain top. Glorious heights you will dance and leap across when you can laugh at the illness with God’s help even as it throws death in your face. Call that doctor. Go to that hospital. Take that medicine correctly. Do not self medicate. Honor God with your body the temple of the Holy Spirit. You will not be disappointed. Through it all is the rare and rich gift of knowing Him., I may have nothing in this world but I am queen and I am wealthy in Him. I am His beloved even if I am touched by the fire of bipolar. I have flames of fire burning inside from the Holy Spirit lighting me up to lead people out of the darkness of the madness. Nothing is impossible for God!(Luke 1:37) I am His darling, human vigilante of peace. Broken for a cause. You will get better. Think it not strange if you are suffering…your character will become more beautiful if you let Jesus shape you in the fiery furnace of His love. A sweet aroma will be poured out from your new nature each time He molds you more into His divine image. If you must go to the hospital…it is okay..I just went and I am alive and well. I just needed a medication adjustment. It stung but my Lord never left my side and I feel dazzling now as I trust Him with my life. He wants me to live right and I know what He allows is good for me. You will get better. Fear not beloved. Only believe God… He gives beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3)
***Remember, Jesus adores you and always take your meds!