Monday, December 10, 2007

Shocking Murders, Killings and Bipolar Disorder

==>>Help with ALL.phpects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all.phpects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
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Hi,

How's it going?

Hope you had a good weekend.

The other day I sent you a daily
bipolar email titled "The Killer and Bipolar
Disorder." If you missed it, you can read
my blog below to see it.

I got a whole lot feedback from people
who were writing me and saying things
like:

-Dave, people with bipolar disorder can
kill

-How do you know if your loved one is
capable of being a killer

-How do I know if I could do something
horrible

-What should you do if your loved one
is violent towards you.

and other questions like this.

I was kind of surprised about the
questions. I wasn't expecting it.

I was expecting more comments about
the person who had actually killed
several people.

Anyway, I have some things to say
about the questions that I received.

But, first let me say before I respond
that:

I am NOT a doctor, therapist, or lawyer.
I am NOT offering medical or legal advice.

With that said, I have opinions. At any
one time, I have up to 11 people who
work for me that have bipolar disorder.

And I just hired another person. I have
over 170,000 people who have signed
up to my newsletters. Also, as
you know, my mom has bipolar disorder.

I have lots of friends with bipolar and
I studied bipolar disorder very closely as
you can probably tell.

So I feel like I know bipolar disorder
really well.

With that said, here's what I have found
in 99% of the violent cases with bipolar disorder
that I have studied.

Actually before I tell you, what do you think
is at the core of violence and bipolar disorder?

Take a guess and scroll down for what I think.
















NO CHEATING :)

Guess first then scroll down....
















It's a lack of treatment and in most cases
the person stopped taking their medication.

This is what I have seen time and time again
that leads to the bipolar disorder horror stories
that involve killings, murder, violence and "crazy
things."

If you check out my bipolar news and read the
"back story" of people who have done these
really bad things you always seen to find
it's people who get off their medication.

There are lessons to be learned from
these horror stories

If you have bipolar disorder:

-Stay on your medication

-Work with your doctor and therapist

-If you feel homicidal or suicidal
call your doctor or a qualified
doctor IMMEDIATELY. Or go to the hospital.
Do NOT wait.

If you are supporting a loved one with
bipolar disorder.

-Work with him/her to get them on the right
medication and help them stay on it.

-Call the people if the person is homicidal
or suicidal. Many times, supporters do
nothing and tell no one when they know
the person is out of control.

NOTE-I remember this one time. There was a person
who was off medication. Many people in
his neighborhood called me and asked me to
do something. It was odd. I never had so many
people in one area contacting me about someone.

I told them they need to call the
police, his doctor, and inform the authorities. I
warned them to treat threats seriously, stay away
and be careful.

Then some how the guy started calling me. He threatened
to kill me unless I returned his calls and met with
him. He warned me he was going to fly out to "get me."
He called over and over again. His messages were really
strange and threatening. He made one person in customer
service very worried she quit.

It sad, she was new and a fill in. I think she believes
people with bipolar disorder are mean. Her first experience
was such a bad one. She never even got to meet other people
who are NOT like this.

Anyway, I started to worry myself. I called my attorney.
He gave me instructions. I then called my police.

After several weeks of tons of phone calls and long
rambling threats, he stopped calling.

Word was, eventually someone convinced him to go to the
hospital where he was put on medication to calm
him down. I was happy.

He seemed like the kind of guy that could create
a whole lot of problems and do something really
bad.

According to what his "friend" told me was that
he was "big", "drinking", not medicated and
"majorly bipolar." BUT I was told he was
the nicest person ever when on medication.

Anyway, it's a good thing nothing bad happen.

There was another lady that threaten to kill
me as well. About 2.5 years ago. She actually
did hurt someone where she lived. She went to
jail as well. She actually got out recently
and sent me an email saying "sorry" and she
said she accepted her bipolar disorder and never
would stop taking her medication again. It was
odd. I don't even know how she remembered what
she said to me.

Her bipolar supporter wound up leaving her
and letting her fend for herself and never
let anyone know she was a danger to herself
and society.

The bottom line is bipolar supporters have to take
action if they see something.

It's a tough thing to do but it has to be done.

If you are reading this and you don't have
bipolar disorder, think about this. Imagine you
were in a major bipolar episode. Imagine that you
were going to do something to someone or yourself.
You would want someone to do something to stop
you right?

Of course.

Now if you have bipolar disorder you should
want your bipolar supporters to step in. You
should NEVER get mad at supporters for stepping
in.

The worst thing that can happen is no one steps
in, you do something really, really bad and
go to jail for a really long time or forever.

Now, I know someone are reading this that are bipolar
supporters and saying, "Dave, it's easy to say
to get someone help but many times they don't want
it."

You are right and that's why I give as many tips
as possible how to get around this.

In my courses/systems below I talk about
this in depth.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

BUT let me warn you. There is no magic simple
answer. I have 25 ways to get someone into treatment
that thinks they are fine. I have an entire
process of which things I think you should
try first. It's not easy BUT it's possible.

Anyway, I hope this email gave you a little
insight into murder, killings and bipolar disorder.

These are just my opinions. I am often
asked how I feel about getting death
threats from people who are unstable and
really ill. Well it's not a good feeling
:).

There have been times where I have a big
consulting job to do and I get a call from
someone who works for me warning me that
someone has made serious and seemingly
credible threats against me. That certainly
doesn't get you "in the mood" to do business
consulting :)

But again, in all these cases, I have yet to see
a case who has a good doctor/therapist, goes
regularly, takes his/her medication and follows his/her
bipolar stability equation, and does something
really bad.

If you have any stories of violence, please
post them. Some don't even believe this is possible.
There are many people with bipolar disorder that
I know that don't really take their medication
and don't believe they could ever commit a
really bad act.

Others don't realize it is. Let's warn people
today.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Don't forget to take a look through the
different programs I've put together... each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.php

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can't learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

34 Comments:

At 10:27 AM, Blogger Draco said...

Dave;

Kudos to you for sticking with this, educating yourself to better educate those who will listen, and for having the patience you do. My mom, who passed in 1997, was definitely bipolar. But, because of lack of knowledge on the parts of doctors, my dad and me being a child and not knowing better she never got treatment. As I read this letter you wrote I recall my entire life growing up fearing for my life on a daily basis. Mom constantly threatened to kill me and I really believed she was capable. As a matter of fact the day I left home (ran away) really seemed like that day was the day she was going to follow through. Obviously I "escaped" or I would not be writing this, but I wanted to ask you and point out one of the things a "violent" bipolar will play 'switcheroo.' My case was mom, who was supossed to be disabled and unable to walk somehow managed to get up and run after me to try and stop me from leaving. Now tell me I did not have reason to fear she was about to follow through with her threats. Anyway, in the process she fell and was seriously hurt. Suddenly it was her acting the victim and I was the bad guy. I guess the point I am trying to make is that I have noticed persons with bipolar tend to be very manipulative. One minute they are threatening and the next they are victims seeking empathy. It is quite the roller coaster. So, with that said I can totally empathise with the threats and yet at the same time I have nothing but praise for you to not let it keep you from doing what you know is right and also keep encouraging others to do the same. Perhaps in years to come this will be a better managed disease without so much negativity. Thanks for everything :) seriously...

 
At 10:37 AM, Blogger James said...

IT IS WITH A HEAVY HEART THAT I TELL THIS STORY. BACK IN THE DAY PASSIVE AGRESSIVE WAS WHAT THEY CALL BIPOLAR DISORDER TODAY. THE DISTINCTION ALWAYS ESCAPES ME BUT IN 1968 I WAS NOT GIVEN ANY MEDICATION FOR MY PASSIVE AGRESSIVE DISORDER.I WAS IN THE ARMY WHEN I FIRST HAD AN EPISODE I WAS SENT TO WALTER REED HOSPITAL FOR 30 DAYS. I DIDN'T RECEIEVE MEDS. SHORTLY THEREAFTER I WAS SENT TO VIETNAM. IT WAS NO GREAT BIG DEAL BECAUSE I WAS IN THE REAR AREA. THE PROBLEMS FOR ME STARTED WHEN I HAD MY 2ND MAJOR EPISODE AND EVERYONE THOUGHT THAT I WOULD GET SENT HOME. IT DID NOT HAPPEN THAT WAY HOWEVER. I WAS SENT TO AN INFANTRY PLATOON THAT TOOK NO PRISONERS WHEN WE WENT ON OUR SEARCH AND DESTROY MISSIONS. IN THERAPY THROUGHOUT THE FOLLOWING YEARS I WAS TOLD THAT IT WAS WAR AND I WAS TO DO MY DUTY. WELL THERE WERE A LOT OF INNOCENTS KILLED AND JUST THE THOUGHT OF IT STILL GIVES ME FEELINGS OF BITTER DEEP SEATEDILL WILL TO THE ARCHITECTS OF THE VIET NAM WAR. ARE WE AS BIPOLARS SUBJECT TO SHOCKING MURDERS,KILLINGS,MAYHEM? UNFORTUNEATLY THE ANSWER IS YES.JAMES

 
At 10:43 AM, Blogger Julieta said...

My mum attempted suicide a few times swallowing dozens of her Valium pills and admitted to having intended to jump off the terrace of a building but that a vision of "Jesus" prevented her from doing that (?). You never mentioned that bipolar people often have these type of mystic hallucinations (or perhaps it was just her). At the time we didnt know what she had, but she did go to a doctor and the doctor prescribed her anti depressants that did nothing but depress her more, so we saw fit that she went off medication every now and then, but then she had "high" periods which I now identify as episodes, in which she did all sorts of awful things like hurting her husband with a knife, calling the police and fire brigade in at my sisters pretending that she was being beaten inside her place, and when it seemed that it could not get worse, she would get depressed again at the evidence of all she had caused.

 
At 10:47 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

In response to the "killings and Bipolar Disorder". In my opinion 'anyone' can take a life, there own or anothers, just depending on the circumstances. Human nature and sometimes the "kill or be killed" reasoning (reality or not) can be the cause of this type of situation. Not that I condone taking a life, I don't. But, I do understand how things like this happen. They seem to be encreasing in our society, especially among young people. As a society we really NEED to pay more attention to individuals who are behaving in a manner we don't see as 'normal' or out of ones character. Moodiness, anger, introversion, if these behaviors are new behaviors in an individual and I feel especially in a teenager, we need to seek help from a professional as quickly as possible. We also NEED to try to have an honest and open relationship and conversation with this individual. Without judgement.....with understanding, and to let them know that above all we desire to HELP them! You never know when you attempt to be of assistence to someone what you have actually acomplished. You may have been sucessful in defraying what could have been a desastorious situation, left unattended. How many times have we heard on the news or read in the news papers about a 'person' who has committed a heinous crime and we thought....why didn't anyone notice there odd behaviors before hand? Why didn't anyone say or do anything about that person? In my opinion that is a good question...WHY? I have had to defray situations in the past, by calling the atthorities, it may upset a person in the moment....but it also has saved lives......when it comes down to the reality of a situation isn't that really what matters? Not "if" you will possiably "upset" someone or anyone.....but that your response might actually stop an individual from taking their own life, or the lives of another? Pay attention, really listen, if someone you know says negitive things, even flippently, regarding suiside or harming another, don't just shrug it off. Talk to them, contact their doctors, family members, the atthorities, what ever it takes until you get someone involved that can defuse the situation and get the individual the assistence they are in NEED of. That way there will be time, and opertunity to mend a possible damaged relationship, or angered or hurt feelings.....if you choose to let a situation go....or ignore one.....that chance just might be forever lost.

 
At 11:10 AM, Blogger dsw said...

Three weeks ago, my husband went to into a "SUPER-EPISODE" he was furious about a very small issue and just went absolutely batsh*t! He was kicking doors, thrashing tables, and slamming other doors and throwing things and I was terrified I just tried to hide, thinking, "I've got to get out of here." I waited 3 seconds too late. A large closet door (the kind that rolls on tracks) was leaning up against the wall and his banging another door in the hallway triggered the closet door to fall, just as I was making a break for it to get out of the house.

THe door fell right on my face! I managed to get to the bathroom and ohmygawd what a discusting situation I was in. I saw my skull people, my SKULL!!!

My husband was still raging and had no concept of what was going on with me.

He almost tried to stop me from leaving and asked, "What's wrong, its just a cut." I steered clear and managed to get myself to the hospital. 10 stitches, a cat scan and lots of confusion.

It was an unintended consequence, I am not afraid of him because I know he would never intentionally hurt me. We have been doing some really great work on how to "cope" but this incident literally "blew my mind" (pun intended) now, we realize that his illness is getting worse and we have to step it up a bit and I have to be more careful about what I should be doing if this happens again.

I have much empathy for my husbands illness and I do not hold any resentments (except for the fact that the illness exists) and we are working hard to find good help.

Thanks.

 
At 11:28 AM, Blogger mry_whl said...

I know first hand what you are saying is true. I have a really good friend who has bipolar disorder and I have supported her as much as I can. When I am around her she is always taking her medication and seems fine but the minute I leave (we live in different cities) her husband calls me maybe twice a week and says she cuts herself and is always going to the hospital. She also has a drinking problem, to say the least, she is an alcoholic. She takes her medication even when she drinks but of course it doesn't help her then in fact it makes her worse. This last time she got a total of 85 stitches all over her arm and leg. Her husband works 6 days a week 12 hours a day and when she is by herself she has too much time to think and starts cutting herself. This last time it was because her dad promised to keep in touch with her and just left out of her life again (he has done this numerous times) and thats what set her off. She gets disability and they gave me 24 hours a month for her on in home supportive services but she needs more hours so I can be with her longer but they refuse to give me anymore hours with her. I have spoken with her doctor and he agrees that it would be good for me to be with her every day since her husband works so much so she can interact with someone. I wish there was more I could do for her but I do not know what else I can do. I have no transportation so it is hard for me to see her everyday except when I have to care for her which is just 6 hours a week. But everything you have said she has done also. She has even told me before that she has had thoughts of just going out and killing people just to kill them. I really don't know what to do at this point. If you have any suggestions or anyone else please respond to this comment.

 
At 11:52 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

dsw and mry.....one thing I would suggest, and I feel you should take seriously is KEEP YOURSELF ABOVE ALL SAFE! Saying you are not afraid of someone who is out of control..."because they would never intentionally cause you harm" is a dangerious outlook....most persons who cause harm to another, or even cause the accidental death to another.....didn't mean to....but, that doesn't change the reality of the situation. When a person is "out of control" or out of YOUR control.....it is your responsibility to seek safety FIRST, and contact the atthorities who have the knowledge of HOW TO ASSIST THIS PERSON. NEVER place yourself in jeopardy. That helps no one! Love and devotion to another is great.....but, use your intellegence your mind, and not so much your heart when you are dealing with a situation that has become dangerious or violent.....this individual needs assistence that YOU are not capable of giving......if you become harmed or worse, that isn't helping anyone.....so when the violence starts....GET OUT....and GET HELP!

 
At 12:13 PM, Blogger mry_whl said...

Sarah,
I really believe that she needs to be put in an institution and I have talked to her about this and she said if anyone ever institutionalized her she would come out worse then when she went in. But I am thinking IF she was, she would no longer be able to drink and she would be able to take her meds the right way and speak with a professional but she wants no part of that at all. I also realize a person can not help anyone if that person is not willing to be helped.

 
At 12:37 PM, Blogger goombah1 said...

Hi Dave,

I wanted to tell you about an episode that happened a couple of weeks ago.It scared the holy hell out of me and I still shiver to think how dangerous the situation really was.
My husband has a couple of men that he works with, staying with us temporarily,until they can get on their feet financially and get their own places to live. One in particular,Bill,was my husband's friend.Little did we know,that Bill had his own problems.I'm not sure if he was bipolar or not,but my mania was feeding off him.I'm normally very shy and reserved,but I kept telling my husband that there was something about Bill that I didn't trust and he made me nervous.I couldn't put my finger on the reason for this feeling.
I get up at 4:45 AM to make lunches and coffee for four men,including my husband and son.They all work together about 1 mile away.I don't really mind doing it,because it gives me until 5:00 PM to myself,with no distractions. It worked out fairly well for the first week.The second week,Bill started coming home for lunch,after I had already packed a lunch for him that morning.This really concerned me,because I don't usually have any men around visiting or otherwise,when my husband and son aren't home.It's just not proper,to me it's not.That's just the way I was raised.
Had Bill been sick or injured,I could've seen past my "old-fashion moral standards" and just occupied my time in my bedroom (safe territory),but he wasn't sick and he wouldn't leave me to myself.He'd knock on my bedroom door about every 5 minutes.He couldn't find this or that.He needed to ask me a question and couldn't hear me through the door.I just assumed it was just bullsh*t and ignored him until I heard the front door close.
He's my husband's friend,so I spoke to my husband about asking Bill to stay at work for lunch and to not come home unless it was just absolutely necessary.My husband did speak to him about it,but it didn't stop Bill.
The weekend came and so did Bill's girlfriend.They tied up my son's bedroom and then the bathroom for more than an hour.My son wasn't very pleased about being locked out of his room and was livid about the bathroom being "occupied" for so long and having to detour and use my private bathroom instead.I was already tense and this just made matters worse.I told my husband he needed to do something about Bill and soon,before I blew a gasket and he'd have to clean up the mess!(I have been known,by both my husband and son,to physically throw someone out of the front door and dare them to come back in,just so I'd have an excuse to kick someone's butt.That's usually reason enough to clear out and give me space and time to pull my act together.)They know my triggers almost as well as I do.
He spoke to Bill and he left, saying he'd be back shortly.We thought he left with his girlfriend.We watched a couple of movies and retired to bed about midnight.He returned at 4:15 AM saying he'd been in a fight,he was bleeding and needed a bandaid.I opened the door and he was dripping blood from his fist,all over my tan carpet.He walked into my room and slung blood onto my blanket and carpet as he made his way into my bathroom to find the bandaids.I was tired and must've been still half asleep or I would've killed him for doing that.I really don't know why I didn't blow up at that point,but I didn't.He said someone had been following him home and he thought that they were going to rob him,so he beat on the man with his fists until he quit moving.My husband got dressed and left with him,to see if the man was still where Bill left him and to see if he needed to go to the hospital.They returned about 7:30 AM.I had already gotten dressed,made coffee and was using hydrogen peroxide to clean the blood out of the carpet.They couldn't find the man,so my husband was going to go back to bed for a couple of hours.So I finished what I was doing,got my coffee and went back to my bedroom to do my email.
A neighbor called and asked my husband to go with him to pick up the new living room furniture he's bought for his wife for Christmas.So my husband got up and redressed to go out.It was 9:30 AM,so I told him that I was going to try to catch a catnap while he was gone.I got to sleep about 15 minutes when Bill started knocking on my bedroom door.He needed antisceptic,he needed another bandaid,he needed gauze and tape,he needed scissors and then he wanted lunch.I never got to go back to sleep.I kept watching the clock, it was getting late into the afternoon and my husband hadn't returned.
Bill went back to the room he shared with my son;I guess he went to sleep,it was quiet.So I decided to do the same and went to my room to lie down.About an hour later my husband returned and I flew into a rage.I screamed and cursed at him,calling him some very ugly names.I accused him of doing more for his friends than he does for his family.I don't remember the whole scenario,but it must've been really ugly and he was standing there,like a deer in my headlights.(He was in shock)I attacked him,ramming him all the way into our walk-in closet,all the way back to the shelves and was holding him against the shelves screaming at the top of my lungs.(A closet,no matter how large it is,is no place to get in a fight.)He shoved me back and then grabbed me by the neck and pushed me back onto the bed.By that time I'd started to cry.It was the only way he could extricate himself from my g.php.I had shredded the shirt he'd been wearing and left some ugly welts on his face where I'd evidently struck him.He was angry at me, he didn't understand why I was so upset at him,but I was crying,so according to past experience,it was almost over.
Both of us surprisingly survived,without any real harm done.It scared the hell out of everyone else in the house,they were standing in the hall,looking like a kindergarten class going to lunch. I could have hurt him seriously and would have, had he not been aware that I'm bipolar and when I go past the stage of being able to escape whatever the trigger was,I'm quite powerful and I can't recognise anyone or even the difference between right and wrong.I just strike out...
My husband is 6'4" tall and weighs about 190 lbs.,I'm barely 5'2" tall and weigh 120 lbs.My son is 6' and weighs 200 lbs.They both say I scare the hell out of them when I get like that,that I turn into the incredible hulk and that there's no stopping me.
Bill left that day and has yet to return for his things.We heard that he went to jail the next day.He had been injecting amphetamines in the mens' room at work and was fired from his job.He left there and was picked up by the police some time after that.

I don't know if that was why he kept coming home at lunch or if he had something else in mind,but either way,he's out of my house and nobody comes home for lunch unless they clear it with me the night before.
I've earned a new name too,my husband and son call me "Psycho-Midget"

 
At 12:50 PM, Blogger goombah1 said...

This post has been removed by the author.

 
At 1:02 PM, Blogger goombah1 said...

Dave,

I'm sorry for taking up more of your space,but I wanted to add this,"YES",people with bipolar disorder CAN and WILL kill anyone or anything in their g.php,even those they love.I'm Manic-Depressed and I'm bipolar.I know from past experience,that it's true.I've looked into the face of a monster,myself, and I know what I'm capable of,even though I don't know while I'm doing it,until after it's over and it's too late!!

 
At 2:42 PM, Blogger Tereze said...

I have seen my mum who was BP in a fight involving a knife once... Thanks God, nobody was hurt.
And I have seen my BP friend raging and kicking and hitting things. He has not physically hurt people so far and I hope he does not get to that stage.But how do I know he wouldn't? :(

 
At 2:55 PM, Blogger btd360 said...

Dave,

I've been in a relationship with my child's mother since I was 16 years old, now I am 20, and my son is almost 3.

I've been reading your emails, articles, etc for a couple weeks now, and I do say they have helped me understand the disorder a lot better.

Right now, I strongly believe my baby's mother has bipolar disorder. Right now, we aren't together, because I honestly couldn't take it. I do want to help her, but she is almost making it impossible. I don't want her out there fending for herself..

I am scared for her, but I am more scared for my son because I don't trust her with him alone, because of her poor decision making... Being a 20 year old single father is hard enough, let alone being a supporter.. any advice for me?

- Brian

 
At 3:24 PM, Blogger dil's mom said...

dHELP ME PLEASE. I AM SURE TO CREATE MY OWN ADDICTION TRYING TO DEAL WITH MY SON'S BIPOLAR AND DRUG AND ALCOHOL SELF MEDICATION. I WILL NOT GIVE UP NO MATTER WHAT BUT I MAY SELF DESTRUCT IN THE MEANTIME. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO EMAIL YOU DAVE. PLEASE EMAIL ME I AM AT THE AOL SYSTEM AND THE SCREEN NAME IS TAZHOTMAMA. PLEASE YOU SAY PEOPLE EMAIL YOU ALL THE TIME. I AM TRYING TO THREATEN YOU OR ANYTHING I AM JUST SO AT MY WITS END. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE. I LOVE MY SON AND I WILL NOT ABANDON HIM IF IT LITERALLY KILLS ME. MY MOM GAVE UP ON ME. PLEASE TALK TO ME AT MY EMAIL. THANK YOU

 
At 5:17 PM, Blogger bpsptr said...

Dave,
Thank you for all the information and trying to help us all. It means alot to me that others have the same troubles as me and my husband. It really helps to read the experiences of others and mostly just being able to express what is happenig to me. There are not many people who understand why I put up with what I do in the marriage.

I am a supporter of my husband who was diagnosed in 2003 as MANIC B/P. He is now 65 years old yesterday. He grew up in a large family and grew up fighting. He was known as Plain MEAN. No one in the small town or surrounding towns would ever mess with him for fear that he would kill them.

The Doctor who diagnosed him said it was amazing that he was still alive.

He was married 2-times before me. I am 13 years younger then him. He used to drink heavy and has been dry since 1988. He has children from 1st marriage and step children from 2nd marriage and now my 3-adult children who were 10, 12 & 17 when we got together.

He was shot by his 1st wife during a manic episode. He had tried to kill her in the past over money in the divorce and seeing his son with her new boyfriend. He was sent to jail for 3 years and that's where he found the Lord but was NEVER diagnosed or treated for his condition.

I knew something was wrong, but it took a breakup for him to see he had a problem and seek medical help. He was medicated and I saw a difference and after 2-months of seperation, I gave him a 2nd chance based on the agreement he would stay on his meds.

I am a sucessful business person that works in the public and with other professionals. This last summer there were problems with his son (who worked for us)who has drinking problems and has a girlfriend that has had phyco episodes that interferred with business customers.

This had set my husband into manic episodes that were very embarrassing for me and the business. The son (who also may be BP) got angry at me on several occations and told his father to stop taking his meds and he would see what a "B" I was.

It has been a real hard year for me because of all the pressure from business and his episodes. After taking the Dave's course, I realized I wasn't taking care of myself and maybe he needs different meds. We visited a new Dr. that supposedly specializes in BP. He gave me Depression/anxiety meds and something for husband for episodes.

During his episodes, I am fearful and try to defuse the problem but that gets old. Know what I mean?

Sorry for the long post & for lisening to me. I truely feel that my husband could be VERY dangerous in one of his episodes.

 
At 5:28 PM, Blogger TAMARA said...

I am a thyriod cancer survivor , I am also have bipoloar , I had a manic appisoide over the last week , I am now on medical leave from my job as a School Bus driver. I call & made & had an appointment with my pscycatist today , he informed my my thyriod hormone ( synthriod & cytomel ) I take may be affecting the way my bipolar medicine is working . I take seroquel 300mg at night . Have you ever heard of this before?medicine

 
At 7:41 PM, Blogger Randy said...

Dave,

I have a 22 year old daughter with a bipolar disorder. Her mother, grandmother, and aunt have all been diagnosed with the same illness. Actually, her grandmother died in a mental hospital in the late sixties or early seventies.

My daughter has been on medication since she was 15 years old. Actually, she has been supposed to take medication since she was 15, but she would rarely take it as prescribed for more than a month or two at a time. When she is on her medication she is loving, kind, and considerate of others. When she is off her meds she is unruly and takes many risks.

On her 20th birthday she seemed okay and seemd to enjoy the small birthday party her mother had for her. However,later that night she took 2 bottles of medication in an attempt to commit suicide. She woke up sometime during the night and crawled to her mother's room. Thank God her mother is a light sleeper and was able to get her to the hospital quickly. The doctor's really did not expect her to live but she did.

After this event she took her meds as prescribed for a few months and then started taking them sporadically again. She just informed me last week that she is pregnant. She is not married and really has not known this guy for very long.

As expected, I am absolutely heartbroken.

 
At 9:46 PM, Blogger tired said...

I have a ten year old kiler, she has been bipolar since she was two. She has not killed a human yet , but not for lack of trying. the hardest thing is getting people to realize what she is capable off, and helping me get the help she needs. I wish people would listen and get me the help I need and she needs, but while we wait my other children or the object of her rage. Please let the world open up too the dangerous children their are in the world and they only want the help they deserve. They did not ASk to be this way!!!!!

 
At 9:52 PM, Blogger crazy grandma said...

As for myself being bipolar, I am only a danger to myself. I could never hurt anyone else. I hate myself so much that I want to die and feel others hate me so much that they want to hurt me. I feel I deserve the pain. I have bruises all over me right now because my husband chewed me out a week ago and I hurt myself because I felt I wasn't worth the breath I need to stay alive.

 
At 10:06 PM, Blogger sjmom said...

sjmom

 
At 11:32 PM, Blogger Karen said...

Hi Dave, I tried to kill myself at 11, after that the whole world was a mark. Had they cared why overdosed at 11, I would not have shot my sons father, stabbed my daughters father, and a few more marks got between me and a knife. I did not know I was bipolar, my twentys-early thirties, I was horrible. I finally joined a dojo at my 8 year old sons suggestion, I loved to fight. My mom left me in the hospital when I was 11, at 43 I find out I am bipolar, this man hurt my daughter, I walked into mental health and told them lock me up or sadate me i am going to kill someone, I knew this time I would have ended up in jail and my daughter needed me, what was left of me. Thanks Karen

 
At 11:52 PM, Blogger shelly said...

i have been reading your emails for the past 3 months or so. my stepson who is 24, was diagnosed with bipolar about 5-6 years ago, but we knew he had problems WAY before that. trouble is, his mother was never that big into getting him STABLE help. he went to special schools, and was in special programs all the way though school, but he just kept getting pushed through, like nobody really wanted to deal with him. he came to live with his father and i when he was 15. every community agency i called just kept telling me he sounded like a normal teenage boy, but i had brothers his age and kept telling them he WASN'T right. whenever i asked them to take him for a week, then tell me he was alright, they said they couldn't do that. anyway, we finally found someone to treat him with medications, and would help get him on a disability. we tried to help him be independant, setting him up in his own apartment close to us and had him help with the family business to give him some pocket cash. trouble is, he fell in with the wrong crowd, and wanting to fit in, went along with giving them his meds, and sharing pills. he never got over his parents divorce, and even after several years, still beleived his parents would leave their respective spouses to get back together. he always looked at me and his stepfather as obstacles to this cause, and as such, never respected me. once, he asked his probation officer at the time if she could "make" his mother love him. (sad, eh?)anyway, he went off his meds (big surprise) and started losing it, walking around growling , and looking just plain evil,telling everyone his mother wasn't really his mother, and that his dad killed his real mother, he went house to house in the family telling everyone this and wouldn't beleive his older relatives, he came to our house one night,wanting to talk to his dad. he had put down 2-6" knives on the porch before coming in. his dad got him to calm down a bit then he left. the next day, his dad found the knives and got hold of the police and DEMANDED they bring him to the hospital after explaining his sons past episodes. it took a bit, but they finally did. his mother went and got him out after 3weeks. (any other time he had been in there almost 3 months at a time, and come out stable) sad to say, he was NOT stable at that time, so he wasn't at his moms very long before he acted out again and was put into the hospital, again. ever since, he's never been quite the same, and there was a part of him that was lost. he is now in a rest home with others closer to his age, where his meds, food, money, etc., are all monitered for him. he will not be allowed back here, as he still has a lot of anger and likes the idea of intimidation to others because of his size. this is not to say that we dont love him, but we refuse to live like that. we tell him we love him, and he visits almost daily as he is only about 2 miles away. anyway sorry to ramble on, but i always had a hard time understanding certain things, but i just keep trying to remember what you say about thinking of the disease as a seperate entity, and i try to think of the shy little boy of ten years old.

 
At 12:46 AM, Blogger Jodi said...

Dave,

My husband has bipolar disorder. I tried for years to tell him that there was something going on. He didn't believe me and his episodes kept getting worse. I finally asked him to leave in April of this last year. He made a couple of phone calls to talk to people and they finally convinced him that he was bipolar. Anyway, one of his episodes we were out with friends, and there was a scuffle that he felt he needed to "assist". He started to chest butt this girl. I was shocked. I told him to stop. He told me to F***** shut up. I again was shocked. Well needless to say that was about a week before I asked him to leave... I had never seen him so angry or ever use his size and weight to push around a girl. He is 6'1" and weighed 250lbs. So there was alot to him. We got into a huge argument when we got home about his behavior towards that girl. I asked him how long it would be before he did that to me.

So, I believe that people with bipolar are very capable of hurting themselves and other people if left untreated.

We are back together and doing very well. He sees a counselor once a week and is taking Lithium for his bipolar. He is a wonderful person and very loving.

I have to thank you for your letters. They are what kept me sane throughout the whole ordeal that lasted several years. Your words of encouragement and positivity kept me hoping that we could get through it..

Thank you so much!!!

Jodi B.

 
At 3:48 AM, Blogger Erin said...

I can directly relate any violent behavior I have had to when I have stopped my medication. And it is sad to admit I am one of those who knows (when on meds) that it is only when I am not on them that I do things that are harmful to myself and others yet I still tend to go off them after I begin to feel "normal".

I have had to serve jail time for my behavior and part of my sentence was always to maintain my meds but once released I go right back to not taking them.

I know this comment was supposed to be based on violence and bipolar but it has just once again occured to me that I need my meds. and the heartache i cause my family when not taking them.

My mother has just recently started handing them out to me daily and although that makes me feel so much like a child I must admit it is probably the only way for me to maintain them.

 
At 5:56 AM, Blogger kareena said...

Yes Dave, and other readers, my boyfriend has been very violent a couple of times, he thinks nothing is wrong with him, of course there is, however I told him what I thought he had, of course I'm crazy! (he says) but he broke up some glass Items in the house (his house) wouldn't let me leave his house for 16 hours Told me he was going to disfigure me, of course screaming and saying bad things to me, it was very scary. I stayed away from him for 10 days, he's acting much better, but for how long? When there are a lot of people around he thinks were all conspiring against him laughing at him with secret jokes, things like that I do love him very much but he's very set on the subject nothing is wrong with me! so for now I guess we will see, just be careful I'm sure one can become a victim and never thought it could happen to them I never thought it would happen to me either, hope this doesn't happen to any one else it's very hard to look at it as a illness! But I realize it is, to bad he doesn't! any way he didn't hurt me physically but emotionally I was a wreck, which might be worse.

 
At 7:12 AM, Blogger FlossQueen said...

Supporters of BP or for people with BP? I must say I get confused. Anyway. I have BP. I can't remember anytime I ever felt violent towords someone else. But since HS I have always felt violent towards myself. I drove to college and wanted to drive off of the cliffs of I80 in PA. I have been a cutter. I am 49 and still do that. But violence is violence. I think violent thoughts so I can go to sleep. They are violent thoughts against me. Never anyone else.

 
At 7:45 AM, Blogger Tara said...

My husband i believe has bipolar but has never been treated....when you say "crazy things" 3 weeks ago he abandoned our car on the main highway in the middle of nowhere and began running....he still has not returned....is there a posibility he is still ok? we are trying despretaly to find him ...what could have happened...i feel like we are running out of time...if there is still hope that he is out there....

 
At 7:47 AM, Blogger Tara said...

this came out of nowhere...very unusual and uncharacteristic for him to leave this long...he was never more than 1 hour away...but he had an impulse just to take the car..no plan...no clothes...no fighting....just the money he had on him

 
At 8:35 AM, Blogger barbeefree said...

I have been told that my daughter and mother are bi-polar. My daughter was so violent with me and her husband would not let me get her help. They are now seperated. I live in another state, I had to move and I worry about her. She does not speak to me. Every time I try to step in it alienates her further. She had given me whiplash threw a fork at me punched my car window. All after I had an opinion. One I was always sorry for. I am not sure she is bipolar or if she has some type of borderline personality disorder. Getting her treatment seems impossible. I really feel lost as to how best to help her when she is an adult and can refuse any help. Last Christmas was the worst this year I live far but worry about my grandchildren they are living with their dad presently.

 
At 9:09 AM, Blogger sweetpea said...

WHATCH OUT FOR PEOPLE THAT HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDOR THEY CAN HEART YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
At 9:57 AM, Blogger Nikita said...

My current boyfriend is bipolar, before I met him,I am currently living in Europe,I believe had been suffering from Post traumatic stress syndrome after a series of incidents having a miscarriage and having worked in Lebanon last year in a security capacity and experiencing my friends and love ones being affected by the war the end result for me = depression. My saviour was a new love that gave me hope, but then it was too much emotion for him and he needed time for reflection. I was in the depths of despair when I met what I thought was a wonderful man, but then I soon learned that he was bipolar and then the history of my depression became worse. He was taking medication (tranquilisers) but such high doses he was so out of it, upon my realisation he tried to better himself by stopping, as well as smoking and drinking as well, he appeared to do really well, until I decided to go back to Lebanon to visit my friends who had been injured in the war, and see my friends new baby. My bipolar guy then really showed signs on my return of his condition, especially during a full moon, as I study astrology he is a cancer, rising scorpio and very much affected by the moon, he started to drink and say he was the devil, left the house, like a crazy man, on his return in the middle of the night, he fell asleep in another room not to disturb me, I was woken up by him speaking a form of latin, like in the exorcist, I woke him up and ran to my bedroom holding my pictures of jesus and mary from the church of miracles in Lebanon. He admitted that he enjoyed having an entity in him at times, which challenges me through violence call this an episode. During his episodes he took drugs, drank, lost his laptop on the street, burnt and crashed his fathers boat into other boats for his anger about how his father had treated him in the past. He wanted to go and kill someone and was yelling at people in the street, I took him home and calmed him down. I took some therapy to deal with my constant crying and feelings of abandonment as my boyfriend found more time to be with his friends. I decided to take a holiday alone for 4weeks to get my head back again, the end result he felt rejected, he was about to loose his house and government benefits so he decided to take his tranquilisers and mix with alcohol, again it was a full moon eclipse=3 fulls moons. I was holding the neighbours cat he hit the cat in his anger, I then got upset with him and approached him saying heh, why, did you do that, he told me keep away, I advanced, he got scared as I do security and he thought I would attack him, so he attacked me hitting me nonstop in the head, I fell to the ground blood everywhere, he only stopped because I screamed so much the neighbours yelled out and he ran aways scared. The end result the police and ambulance came and I had 5 stitches to my head.He vouched he had never done that before and would not do it again. During the time I was away, he sold my laptop, took drugs and cut himself and turned my appartment upsidedown looking for evidence believing I was a call girl, rang up all my exboyfriends and numbers he could find in my address books. On my return he was more calm, again apologised but felt he had been abandoned. Again I gave him a chance he managed to get his house back and his benefits he became calm again. The other week I was sick and he came to look after me for 3days I gave him money for to get my medication 2hrs later he disappeared,I found my medication on the front door step,I phoned him 10times, he said he was ashamed I finally convinced him to come and see me, he had used the rest of my money on drugs he bought on the street and he had cut himself as he felt bad, again this was a result of having travelled to see family without him the week before.3days later he had been drinking with a friend said he would come to see me in an hour 5 hours later at 5am in the morning he turned up slightly out of it and was talking to himself, I told him to be quiet at it was late and I was still recovering from being sick, he turned to his small whisky bottle and continued to made noise, I got his drink and threw it down the sink, he then felt harrassed to tried to grab me by the throat twice, I treatened to call the police and told him to leave, I had a panick attack and hyperventilated during all of this at the same time.He calmed down as he did not like the rejection as he had when he was a child being kicked out at 15years old, but been suffering from BP since 4years old since he biological father left the house.He also gave me a 4page letter of how horrible I am, do not deserve to have a boyfriend and friends etc etc. Easy I let him get on with his life,2days later he felt rejected. He takes his tranquilisers to calm him down, but he drinks,I gave him info from Dave's website to say I do not have the strength to carry on and he has to stop the drugs and drinking or he looses me.He has seen doctors in the past therapy for 3years but they said he knows what he needs.He has managed to get the money from the insurance and not paid the doctors and now no doctors are prepared to see him as he has not paid his bills.On the state doctor to keep him his benefits and his medication.I want to explain that this guy is one of the kindests, sweetest, most loving,generous, loyal to me and his friends when not in mania or drinking or drugs.I study metaphysics and healing they say anything can be healed. I know my guy needs love and not rejection, but through his manipulations, constant arguing,jealousy I have more money than him, he feels worthless and a no body sometimes and too much time to think that I don't love him and he needs trust etc etc Just when I think I am getting somewhere, I turn in circles??????Thanx Dave your website is just a miracle in itself.

 
At 1:58 PM, Blogger roger franks said...

i have a son that was not takeing his meds. like he was to be when he wounld take them he was fine when he didnt he was mean to me it was hard because i have bipolar and i have had a stroke i dont talk and walk like i did before when im saying he was mean it was real he broke my arm my finger craked ribs but now he is takeing his mids. like he is perscibed now he is in college doing very well i hope is sounds all right if it dont im sorry im trying this is about all i do is play on the computer i dont remimber a lot of what i did before i was a truck driver over the road now i just set around thank you for this sit it is a wounderful sit roger

 
At 9:59 AM, Blogger SuzanneWA said...

Well, Dave, I've never been homicidal or suicidal, so can't really comment on how I'd act if I stopped taking my meds. However, I KNOW I'm capable of FIGHTING if I don't get my way when I'm manic.

I had one knock-down-drag-out fight with a boyfriend when he was leaving me. I even tried to punch out his eye! I was single-minded about keeping him, and he (also mentally ill), was single-minded about leaving - he won. After the altercation was over - I became "normal" again...

However, the very next day, I signed myself into a private psyhiatric hospital - I KNEW something was wrong. Before I went to the hospital, though, I tried running down my brother with my car! I was totally OUT OF CONTROL. I scared myself...

I still don't know where these terrifying feelings came from, but I was diagnosed as manic depressive in 1997, and introduced to Lithium. I was in the hospital for two months - my insurance ran out - and left there in a clinical depression.

I guess feeling "nothing" is bettr than being aggresive and in fighting mode. The depression lasted about a year, until I started taking new meds again.

So - it IS possible for even the most tender-hearted, mild-mannered bipolar survivor to turn mean and "snap." I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but it IS true. Now, if I feel hostile and angry without reason, I call my psychiatrist and she tweaks my meds to rid me of those feelings.

With this disorder, anger, frustration and not taking your meds can lead to catastrophe. If the supporters notice ANY odd behavior in the bipolar survivor, by all means, get them to their doctor or check them into the hospital STAT!

BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors, and those who love them. My prayers are with you. Take care, and stay sane!!

 
At 3:29 PM, Blogger Tara said...

Did anyone ever leave for an significant amount of time and return?...please help me....my husband did all the same things that everyone says...alcohol, paranoia,jealousy, thinks i am hiding things ex. pulling insoles out of shoes, trying to find some kind of proof....i didnt know he was bipolar i thought "it was just him" and that he would grow out of it...but now i believe he has snapped and abandoned his car, and ran. there is no proof that he is not alive police are still working on it as a missing person....witness say it was like he was on a mission...please, any information or answers or thoughts would be greatly appreciated!!! his parents do not believe anything was wrong with him....but i lived with him and i am married to him...when he was in episodes, quite frequently, it was getting worse, it was almost like he was not the same person, then he would quickly forget and turn almost into a baby needing affection and attention...do you think he knew something was wrong with him....whenever he did anything he said he didnt do anything wrong....a huge rollercoaster

 

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