Wednesday, May 18, 2005

How to ask for help and do I like getting yelled at?

Someone asked me why I do all this. I really like to. I like helping people. Another person
called me today and asked me if I like getting yelled at and insulted. I told this person
that for everyone complaint, I get around 100 testimonials. I think I have only had 25
really mean emails sent. Maybe 26. Many people write one thing one day and then
write back and say they are sorry.

It takes a big person to say sorry. That makes me feel good.

I do however get a lot of emails. Some are a waste.

They are a waste of time for both the people
sending them and for me when I read them.For example, I got one that
said "My husband is driving me crazy. I can'ttake it. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!"

Or another one I got:"My job is making me sick. Help me."

Here is my problem with these. I understand the genuine distress
behind them, and I sympathize with their pain, but there is nothing
I can do with that kind of "non-information." If I wanted to help, you
know how much more info I would need to help!I really wish people
would be serious about asking for help.

I am a huge believer in asking for help. It's the main reason that I
was able to helpmy mom. When she was sick, I asked everyone
for help. I had SPECIFIC questions.I asked the money people specific,
money-related questions. I asked thedoctors specific questions.
I asked the therapists specific questions.

I didn't say"My life stinks, my mom is sick, help." When asking questions,
ask specific questions. Don't just make vague statements and attach the
word help and expect to get it.

I got another email from someone today saying my grammar is terrible and so is my
spellling. I don't think my spelling is bad thanks for Microsoft. As for my grammar, who
knows.

I am really confident that people understand what I am writing. And when it counts, I get
everything edited. I don't have things like my blog edited.

I have an idea

Since I am sitting on hold on the phone, I was doing some thinking. What do you think about a weekly poll on a topic to see what people think about certain things?

New bipolar blog for parenting supporting bipolar disorder

Tomorrow, I will be revealing a new blog for parents support children with bipolar disorder.

Check back tomorrow.

Dave

The Free Seminar My Mom Went To And Who Called Me A Scammer

Yesterday, my mom told me she went to a free seminar on how to sell yourself if you have a mental illness. I was really proud of the fact that my mom went to this seminar. I really believe in continous improvement and learning. I personally attend many seminars and read up to 8 books a week on various subjects.

Anyway, my mom said it was great and gave her some good ideas on how to talk to people about your mental illness and put it in the best possible way. I think this is great. I am going to encourage her to write up an article about it. So far, she hasn't been writing anything yet because she is really busy working on catching up after being sick for almost 2 years. But she is going slow and not in a rush.

My mom said that at the seminar they talked about how to talk to yourself and that you shouldn't think of yourself has mentally ill rather having a mental illness. There's a difference. I have long preached that people have bipolar and are not bipolar. I don't say bipolar people, bipolar mom or is bipolar. I always personally say, has bipolar, like my mom has bipolar.

For some reason, it's personally offensive to me when people say a person is bipolar. I could write an entire report as to why this is but the bottom line is that the person is not the illness.

Yesterday morning someone wrote me:

"Dear David, Just some feedback on language of bipolarness. In your Part 8 of your mini course you state, "When you are supporting someone who IS bipolar.." We who HAVE bi-polar ARE NOT bi-polar, we are not our disease, we HAVE this disease. It is not merely a matter of semantics here. When someone has cancer they are not cancer, they have the disease. Same difference when having the disease of bi-polar. I take offense in being labeled bi-polar as being bi-polar. I have the damn disease, I am not the damn disease. Do you understand the difference? I hope this little note can be enlightening to you. Take care."
Mary

SIDE BAR-That's the first time I used color in my blog. I am a blogging pro now. Ha ha.

I don't know where that person read is bipolar on my site but it shouldn't be there. I have required everyone from my programmers, writers, my own mom, printers, web people, researchers, etc. to never speak like this.

It's interesting that I spoke with one woman who said that I should stop worrying about things like that and focus on real issues. This woman has bipolar herself. Her life is a wreck. Her daughter has bipolar and she ran away. So maybe this woman might want to think about her own personal philosophy.

Anyway, just think about this. And one last thing. I don't say bipolar child. I think this is really really bad. I don't even think it sounds right. Just say that and listen to it--bipolar child. I think saying this to your child labels them and creates problems. I have spoken to dozens of parents that agree with me.

Well, back to the seminar. My mom met someone who had her own business. And this really gets me excited. She has a profitable home business analyzing people's handwriting. This is a great business. I personally know someone who built a million dollar business doing this and has been on many tv shows.

Anyway, my mom felt great that she met this woman and she was a success. I might be profiling her soon. But the key things are, my mom went to a seminar, took notes, met people who she learned many things from and now is going to practice what she learned.

While I am on the subject, someone I spoke to two months ago started a business teaching people how to run. Startup cost 0. In profit the first month. He will make $400 to $500 a month doing something he loves to do.

On this note, I got an email from someone that made no sense:

I"t appears that you ma be taking advantage of individuals with Mental Illness. Especially your offers to make money from home, etc., I am a social worker for the Public Health Department and seriously hope this is not the case, as I may be forced to report you to internet fraud/security."

It's really really annoying when I get an email like this. EVERYONE that works with me says "Dave you really have to ignore these emails." I try but get mad. This woman, think I am running a scam because I talk of home businesses. I guess she wants people who have bioplar and and can't find a job or have one that pays too little to sit home and maybe beg for money or try to live off of the little bit you may get from disability.

It annoys me when I hear from someone that want you to almost not try to help yourself. When it comes to disability, I have talked to the people that run the social security department and they have told me over and over and over and over again that they want people to go out and try things and not just sit at home and collect disability. This is why you can earn money and be on disability and not lose it. If you have questions, call them up locally to get the amount.

They want you to try to get a part time job. They want you to better yourself. I think there are tons of businesses a person can start and work from home at earn a few hundreds dollars a month. I guess for someone people that's a scam but for the rest of us, people like my mom, a few hundred dollars is a lot of money.

Finally, I love the you are taking advantage of people. That implies that a person who has a mental illness can not think for him/herself and is easily manipulated. Just read what is implied. I will tell you what, I have spoken to dozens of really smart people with mental illness. They called me and asked about the businesses. Some people decided to try to get a part time job which I agreed with. They had their own brain and used it.

That entire email response was shameful and insulting to me and degrading to a person with bipolar disorder.

She is going to report me? For what?? Talking about home businesses? Isn't it amazing the kind of things that people write.

Does anyone think I am running a scam? Would I take all this time, create a site like bipolarcentral.com, take phone calls, go to seminars, write emails, write articles, write a blog, put my address online, post my real phone number, meet with people, volunteer at TWO groups that support those with depression and bipolar, find writers to write articles on bipolar and pay them in many cases, etc.

What do you think about this???