Been Awhile

Sorry I haven't blogged for awhile, alot has happened. One my grandmother who I consider my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, we have been trying to deal with her numbered days though I am not aware of how long she has. Which has been hard on mt son as he is closer to his great grandma, then his grandma (my mother) . When my husband died ( my grandmother took us in) my grandpa (whom was like a father to me had lung caner) he died February 12th my husband April 1st 2002 same year.

Any way this has been hard on us as we know mortality is nature. But on a good note my Son has learned to value life. We have had a hard journey and we still have a ways to go, but one thine is for certain, we have established open and honest communication.It took awhile and a lot of heartache on my part, but a learning experience on both parts. what I have learned is to never give in and to never give up.

My son battles everyday with bipolar some are great days others are war with himself and his emotions, I have learned that he does not want to behave manic but it is a part of his disorder, we have learned how to communicate more effectively. Which is a major break through. Did we get there fast no!!!!

With a lot of research, classes, and patients I have learned how to help him with his mood swings and his depression and manic times. How because I have devoted much of my time not to obsess what his disorder is but to understand how it works. Much like the weather it is never an absolute. We try to predict and keep records, sometime the patterns are the same, others they change, but what is prominate is communication, sometimes you have to practice tough love other times it is just listening and trying not to fix them.

My son is very intelligent and wants to lead a normal life, but define normal. What is normal to me isn't what is to everyone else. I am not a routine person, but he is. With structure and boundaries he has learned his limitations. It didn't happen over night in fact it happened 6 years and many mistakes later, but now we have a better relationship because I understand his language.

so what does that mean, here is an example, " leave me alone" that means I need your help but I don't know how you will react or if you will judge me, I don't want to be fixed, but listen to non judgemental, so when he tells me to leave him alone I tell him. " When you are ready I am here, I don't want to change you, but know what I can do to help, he has responded much better to this than anything else.

therapy, though he needs professional therapy to many of those who suffer with bipolar mean that they want to change who you are. I make sure he understands that they are not out there to change his wonderful personality, but to enhance his life, people don't understand that.

I am going to leave you with a thought, if you had cancer, or another ailment, you want to be who you are. Doctors recommend change, how are you going to react to change? Are you afraid they want to change who you are? No. They want to enhance your life to live longer and have a happy productive life, but those who have mental disorders aren't given that definition they are told there is something wrong with them. What is true they have a disorder all they need to change is bad habits not who they are.

Take care, I will be in touch soon
Stacey A.