Breaking Your Bad Discipline Habits
Before I go into breaking down walls I thought I would touch on the subjects of breaking bad habits of parents discipline.
The reason is because before you break down walll with your child you need to have a better techinque of handeling your child/teen during the rough times
Nagging We all nag. And we all know how fruitless it is.
Either your child resorts to fibbing ("I did wash my hands! Really!") or he/she learns to tune you out.
Try this instead: Use eye contact and state your expectations as calmly as possible.
Fewer words are better. Instead of saying, "How many times do I have to tell you not to eat in the living room?" say, "No eating in the living room." And try not to load up on commands. It's better for him to do one thing (put on his shoes) than hear a whole string of orders Source
Yelling
What's true of nagging is doubly true of yelling -- we all do it, and we all feel guilty every time we do.
Even if it does occasionally get results, it just teaches your child that it's OK to raise his voice when he's angry.
Try this instead: A proper scolding that names the misbehavior at hand.
Your child really does need to know what he's done wrong, as long as you don't raise your voice or lose your temper.
Remain clame and explain that their misbehavior will not be tolerated. Children/teens know which buttons to push and sometimes thier goal is to get you to yell. Dont give in.
Issuing empty warnings
A good warning can be an effective discipline strategy. The problem comes when you threaten in anger, grossly exaggerate ("If you do that again, I'm not taking you outside all day"), or fail to be specific ("You'll be sorry!").
Try this instead: Make your warnings more specific and immediate. ("I'm warning you. If you don't give that toy back to your sister, I'm going to have to put you in time-out.") Use a calm, firm tone of voice that makes it clear you're in control.
Follow through and be consistant when you do warn them dont give them several chances you warn once and if they do not do as told then follow through with your warning. Kids will test you to see if you are actually going to follow through with your threat.
Giving the cold shoulder
While removing a privilege can be an effective penalty, turning away from your child when she wants to kiss and make up or giving her the silent treatment after she's misbehaved can make her feel unworthy of your love and affection.
Try this instead: Tell your child how upset you are. Just do it calmly without making her feel rejected. Your aim is to make it clear that it's the behavior that's driving you crazy, not her. This will help to open doors with your child to be able to communicate with you when they are upset. Children/teens need to know that even if they have done something wrong that was thier behavior that made you upset not them as a person. This techniche really can build more self esteeme and better communication skills.
Take Care
Stacey Adams