Got to Stay Strong

It has been a while since my last post. Since then myson has been having trouble adjusting. Which he usually does during April as it reminds him of his fathers death. One of the nice things is that he is starting to process his feelings. I reasure him that it is okay to be angry and mad, and that the best part of healing is to communicate his emotions.

When he starts to shut down I back away as that isnt going to help him with dealing with his loss.

One of the techniques that truly is working is when he starts to get fustrated or angry, or I can see the subject we are talking about is too much for him I change the subject to revert his anger then I go back to the subject that he was getting emotional over. I dont push it down his throat but I keep at it as adventually he will start to talk about whatever it is during the day that is bothering.

I am concerned about him as he missed the last three weeks of school, I knew he wasnt going as he was hitting a depression period, and due to this I decided to get an in home therapist. So far it is working out great. She seems like a very nice and caring person, she listens to his concerns and instead of saying "how does that make you feel" she asks him so what are you doing about this or that, then she ask the feeling questions but does it in a way that isnt condesending but validates what he is going through.

I also signed him up for martial art classes as he really wanted to go as it was going to help him with self esteem and a place where he could be himself and not a person who has a disorder. Unfortunally the last two weeks he has missed. he keeps telling me excuses as to why he cant go. At first I got really mad because it was a lot of money to get him enrolled, but as I thought about it, my son has every intention of going but something inside is keeping him in a safe zone and right now he isnt ready to leave.

So I remind him and ask him if he would like to go today and he will tell me yes or no. when he tells me no he doesnt feel like going i will ask him if feels okay and he will say yes, jsut dont want to be around people, so I reasure him that the next class is a new day and we will try then.

I did get him to go to the gym with me to work out as we havent done that for awhile. He did really good for about 20 mins and then he was done. But at least I got him out of the house.

I also went for a revaluation as I know something deeper is going on but it is beyond my control as to what it might be, so I sought out another evaluation. Mainely because the last one he had was 6 years ago and with adolences and hormones plus bipolar maybe the meds arent working or there is another underlying area that isnt being looked at.

I just want what is best for my son.

I have learned that even when you are so mad at what your child is doing you need to assess if you are emotionally ready to handle the situation, when I am not I will tell my son that he is in trouble and that I am too angry right now to discuss as I want to know his side and I cant in the state I am right now. So I step back ( go to my room, fume then think okay what was the reason, the trigger and what is the correct disapline to handle this situation.) This has been working for me and there is a lot of less yelling and more communicating.

The in home thereapist comes tonight so I have only an hour to get the house in order. Will let you know if she has any addtional tips about the rapid cycle summer techniques.

Take Care
Stacey A


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