Teaching Responsiblity/Remain Consistent

Remaining consisitent can be difficult especially when your child.teen doesn't want to cooperate. But consistency is key. If your child see's that they can get their way by acting out or annoying you until you give in, they will continue to do so. So when ever you give a consequence stick to your words. It will always be hard before it gets better.

So responsiblity ties into this because, when you hold your child accountable for a choir, direction, behavior and such, and you rescue you them from thier delema you are teaching them forgettness and you will always bail them out. So here is an example of what I have done and am still doing with my son.

He has a list of tasks and goals of what he is supposed to do, in the next colum I have " MET" " Not Met " "N/A" ( if it is a two to three times a week thing) Reason for not meeting requirments, consequence for not meeting goal or task. Also I do no remind him to look at his goals and expectation sheet, it is his responsbility, if he fails to do what ever it is on this list then he he looses things.

Weekend up and downs

Ment to write sooner, but when my son is in a manic way, it takes all of my time. So basicaly he was utlta cycling. One mood changed to the next. Impulse control was off. I felt I was riding a unicyle in heels up hill.

I made sure we had family time, and he had one on one time and that he got to go to a friends house Friday night. My down time was when he went to the pool with my boyfriend. That helped a little.

So now I am working on lists and goals once again. One of the things my son has a hard time with is impulse control and the second responsiblity for action.

So for impulse control, when he gets a thought that he feels he has to do, he needs to talk about it first. such as "why do you need to run around the apartment complex? Why do you feel it would be a great idea to draw on the walls with my lipstick/marker? So when we talk about it first I he is less likely to follow through with his idea that will get him into trouble. ( running around the complex wouldn't but with his squirt gun yes).

So impluse control times into responsible for actions, if it seems like a great idea and you know in the back of your mind you could get in the slightest trouble it may not be the best thing to do.

I will go into more detail later. Running out of time.

Monday's are alsways the same

I don't know what it is about Mondays, but when ever they come around, my son has a hard time adjusting to catching his bus for his treatment program. Most other days he does well. So instead of the same consequence as in no internet and phone time. I am going to be a little more creative.

So far my son said the reason he missed his bus this time was because he fell asleep. ( The other times were " I didn't hear the bus, When the bus came I was in the bathroom, I didn't hear the phone ring, They only honked once and sped off") So bed time will be 10pm lights out, but before that I am going to have him look up the word responsiblity and actions. Then make him write a paper on how those words pertain today. Not saying he will do this willingly, but if he wants phone privledges and internet time, the paper will be done, but bed time at 10 will stand.

The nice thing is he understand manipulation mcuh better since his one of the treatment staff memebers did a group on it and made the kids write a paper on how they used manipulation for what they wanted. so why not try this at home.

I know this weekend was what I call special as in needy and demanding. I was happy to get the break I needed. For two hours I actually was able to watch TV. Nothing was on of course, but hey I can flip through the channels like any guy can. It was nice.

So again, as a parent that too gets overwhelmed, take what ever down time, free time that is given to you. Don't feel guilty, trust me it is well deserved. Plus you and your children will have a b etter relationship and your communication will increase. Why? Because you have had a chance to regroup and appreciate the situations or conversations much easier. For me when I have had, two hour or even three hours and my son gets home from school or treatment when I have had time to regroup I am more consentrated on what he is telling me and I don't freak out over what he may have done. I have learned to be calm and silently explode ( sometimes I draw cartoons of the issues to take out fustrations it helps)

Any way all you hard working parents hang in there. Everything takes time, there is always a solution when you brain storm, and have had a time to breath. ( even 10 mins counts)

Emotions run high

Today was a emotional day for all parties involved with my son. Today was his first day of summer school which he was very much looking forward to. The classes he is to take is in a classroom environment and all his assignments are at his own pace via the computer on a program called nova net. The emotional part started after class had begun. The teacher explained all the courses lessons were all up front and what they needed to complete to pass the classes. My son ( which suffers from bipolar) was highly overwhelmed. All he saw was the enormous amount of work he had a head of him. So at the 10 min break, instead of my son telling the teacher how overwhelmed he was with the information he provided, he left the school grounds with out telling the teacher.

Though my son was trying to call me I happened to be in a meeting, first clue that I should have been pulled out of the meeting is my son is crying and asking to speak to me, I didn't know he was calling, so instead of someone letting me know my son was in a state of irrationality, the receptionist asked my boss where I happended to be and told the receptionist I was in a meeting. I was furious and asked why I wasn't called out. The reasoning on their part was that he didn't state it was an emergency. Okay that might have been acceptable had I not already many times before state my son Has BIPOLAR disorder and at time can become manic or irrational and I need to take his call. When I am answering the phone and one of the other employee's children call 3 times in a row or even before I ask them if it is an emergency, common sense would tell you that you should, or maybe it is just I am too nice of a person and understand when you have children there may be circumstances in which the child is not able to articulate.

So during the heighten state of my sons emotions he decides the class is too much and when he can't get a hold of me he starts to walk to my work ( found this out after the fact as well and people are extremely lucky that my son was not hit by a car and such) his high school and my work are about a mile and a half away, the problem with that is there are 2 major intersections in which he has to cross, one in which that involes off ramp interstate 4 way light stop but very dangerous as there isn't a side walk. So thankfully my son calls my boyfriend and he finds my son 2 blocks away from my work crying and distraught. (My boyfriend tried to call me as well, but he got the same response, but again he didn't state it was an emergency).

So here is what I learned today.

Have a safety plan in place at summer school when my son feels overwhelmed.
Use the code words " I am Overwhelmed I need to speak to my mother at the front desk so they know that it means it is an emergency or crisis. ( Not everyone is going to remember to say it is an emergency when manic or irrational. Duh)
and lastly know that some days just suck, and you just have to vent. I am glad and can breath now that my son is okay. I am upset that the teacher didn't call me right away when he didn't return back from break, apparently lazy teaching is the new craze.

So round two will be writing down the expectations of the teacher when it comes to not returning from break ( hello if the child was there at the beginning of class and didn't return from break why wait 2 hours later to notify the parents) I could go on and on but I will end now, I am sure that there are many parents that have been throught this, I just wanted to complain.

Thanks for listening

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