Communication is key

Now that the rules of the internet have been established and open communications is restored, I think we are now at the understanding point of expectation.

My son and I sat down when both of were calm and discussed the rules regarding the internet. It was nice, my son was receptive and I let him add his rules as well, I wanted him to be apart of the process to give him ownership and to feel that he too had a say.

I was very impressed with his input. Not only did he help establish the rules but he also helped out with the consquences for not following the rules. This is not to say that later we may both become disgruntle over the issue since everyday is new and his mood swings can be moment to moment. But all in all the key to this experiance was open communication and letting each other speak.

We also talked about how to help with feelings when over emotional, mad, indifferent and such. It was funny at times because I asked him, " when you are mad what do you think would help you? His answer "I don't know?' So I said how can I help you? So one of the things he asked is for a code word, since he uses " You are overwhelming me ( he will say this even when I ask him if he can pick up his shirt off the floor) we decided that when he says this phrase in an angry to suggest music and sing our own lyrics to the songs. That works for me. So that is step two.

The reason we discussed feeling and how it ties into internet usage, is my son tries to use it as an escape from day to day issues. He says it keeps him calm and that when he isn't with friends and doesn't want to work out then he will be on the internet playing a game. The problem is he becomes engrossed so much he only leaves the room for necessities. So when I requested him off he would get mad, I would be mad for him yelling at me. So a solution was needed, and Walla step one.

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