Another Monday
My son was doing so well saturday and then Sunday morning he was fine. About early afternoon, Kaboom. Goals shot to poop. I know he was really trying. But the crowds at the shopping centers were overwhelming to him. We would walk in a store and once more people starting showing up my son would get nervous and want to leave. Which was fine. I should have left them minute he felt claustrophobic, but I wanted 10 extra mins to see if he could just try and work through it.
When we got home, he was angry, yelling swearing and breaking all of the rules and goals. Okay, instead of giving him immediate consequences I gave him time to calm down, 15mins. It really didn't help the situation much, but he told me that since we didn't leave the store rightaway like he asked now he was going to be in a bad mood all day. I told him he is deciding to be mad, it is fine to be mad for the moment, but your are choosing for the whole day. Ahha. Okay so that made him think for a little while, but everything I tried doing for him, just didn't make him feel better. So I made a sign it read. "Steve you are to be made, crabby and unhappy all day" and drew a frowning face. My son chuckled and asked if he could make a sign of feelings so when he is feeling a certain way he can hang it up. I told him we could, he is too old for popsicle puppets.
later he asked me to cut his hair and I did exactly how he wanted it, he like it for the first hour and hated it the rest of the evening. ( his hair was like the character cousin it) He just isn't used to seeing his cute face.
Today has been another battle. He claims he has a migraine and is too sick to go to treatment. He is just avoiding because he doesn't like the haircut and is afraid of what the other kids will say. ( I went to cosmotology school I know how to cut hair). So deep breaths and what I have decided to do is, start over tomorrow. Tonight we will take it hour to hour. It is much easier that way. But either way we will get through this cycle. I would go into detail but his emotions can be one minute to the next. But I have added to his list of triggers is crowed grocery stores and department stores.
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3 Comments:
Stacey,
One thing I'm curious about, I have a hard time explaining to my mother that when I start screaming at people, it's not because I just let loose, it's because I really am angry enough to scream. There is nothing anyone can do to talk me out of being angry, I just get angry for no reason, and the more she tries to talk me out of it, the more angry I become. Is your son able to control those emotions at all? Is this something I could learn, because I when I'm like that, I feel like I have absolutely no control over myself.
Nicolep
bipolarprincess.blogspot.com
Bipolarprincess,
My son is learning to control his anger better. There are times when all that helps is letting him yell at the top of his lungs. However we have list's made at home. On the grease board we have "What to do when angry, and beside it are triggers. I have found my son is less angry and out of control when he and I follow the trigger list.
On the cork board we have a list of how to cope with emtions. So for my son when he is so angry he could destroy something, he listens to him music loud and sings with it. Or he plays a dance game where he can jump up and down or he and I will go on a power walk where he can walk off the aggression. Sometimes when it is someone else who has made him made, I'll have him make cartoon characters of the person who made him angery, which helps sometimes because it gives him a creative outlit. There are times though that punching bag comes in handy, I have to get a new one, my son has outgrown his.
There are many techniques to use and try, sometimes venting to another person helps. Coping skills take time. I tell my son that I will never give up him even when he does and this goes for coping skills. I know they will take time and paitents on my part. However I will do the techniques with him, because it is a geat learning expericance to see if it actually helps me or not. There are techniques I do better with than he does, but I will never feel the intense anger he feels. My son say's it is like a volcano and once he heats up he has a hard time not errupting. So I am teaching him how to control his emotions.
My son also has a emotions buddy. This means if I am not available he can call his buddy ( kinda like AA where they call a sober buddy to help them through the hard times) and this will help him to remain incontrol. As for your mothering, I am sorry she is not supportive of your emotions. Maybe your mom needs you to explaine your feelings in more detail to better understand what your experiancing. My late husband was very bad at communicating why he was angry and why he felt the need to leave for days at a time. Neither her nor there but communication is key and learning to cope will help you feel better. But just know there will be set backs and not to beat yourself up.
I hope this helped you, if nothing else, know you can do what ever you set your mind to. Bipolar is what you have not who you are.
Thank you so much Stacey! I have gotten much better advice on bipolar blogs than I have from my psych Dr. in five years. Keep up the great work with your son and please keep posting!
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