Bipolar Survivor

Hey, y’all –

I’m sorry I’ve been MIA… been dealing with some issues, but I’m better now.  Anyway, I was thinking about something I said in my last post, talking about taking my medications “until they at least find a cure for bipolar disorder.”

Think about that — what if they found a cure for bipolar disorder?

Would you take it? 

The answer, at first, seems obvious.  Of course, right?  Who wouldn’t.

I wonder if I would take it.  Seriously, I wonder if I would.

My first suspicion would be, “How do I know it’s a cure?”

I mean, they haven’t found a cure to anything else, like cancer, have they?

The best they can promise with cancer is “remission.”  Not a cure.  So I guess I would be suspicious.

Then I would wonder about the cure itself.  What would it entail?  Would I take pills?  Go through treatments of some kind?  What?  How?  For how long?

Again, like with cancer, is the “cure” almost worse than the disease itself?

Would I get sick, like I would with chemotherapy or radiation?

I’m not so sure it would be as easy as some people think. 

And then I think of what I might lose.

Don’t get me wrong, please don’t get me wrong.  I hate my bipolar disorder.  But it has given me some things.  It has made me unique, for one thing.  And I wonder if I would lose that unique-ness if I were cured.  Would I have the same personality as I do now?  Would I still be  ME?

Would I still be as creative?  Or am I creative BECAUSE I have bipolar disorder?  Would I see things differently, approach things differently?  Or do I see things differently now BECAUSE I have bipolar disorder?

Hasn’t bipolar disorder forced me to become a BETTER me because I have had to fight for sanity and stability?

Haven’t I become stronger because, “Anything that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?”  And there were many times that I tried to kill myself, yet survived.  And that’s just it.  I AM a survivor!  I have survived my own life!  Would a cure take away that survivor spirit in me?

What else would a cure take away? 

I have learned how to be a good manager because of bipolar disorder.  I have time management skills that I didn’t have before, and I definitely have had to learn stress management skills, haven’t you?  But I have, most of all, learned how to manage my disorder, and everything that entails.

I have learned how to manage my daily life and daily living skills.  I have to live by a routine.  Now, some people might find that boring, but I find that it gives my life some structure.  Structure gives me control — the control that was lacking when my bipolar disorder dictated my emotions, behavior, and life to me.  Now I control the disorder, not the other way around.

I have used my gifts of teaching and writing to help countless other people who have needed to hear what I have to say – people who are not as far down the journey of managing their bipolar disorder as I am.  They need to hear that recovery is possible  and stability is not just a dream, but something that can actually be realized.

All this can be accomplished without some supposed cure.  All this is being accomplished even as I write this.  People are getting BETTER!  They are being EMPOWERED with their bipolar disorder!  They are learning how to MANAGE their disorder!  They are finding STABILITY!  They are finding FREEDOM from insanity!  They are discovering INDEPENDENCE, that they are ABLED, and not DISabled !

People with bipolar disorder are some of the most beautiful, caring, loving, intelligent, creative, productive, and successful individuals in the world!  Look at some of our greatest works of literature, music, art, science, etc.  Many of those people had/have bipolar disorder.  Famous or not, we all contribute to the betterment to this life and the people around us.

If we rise above the disorder that tries to cripple us, when we learn to “tame the dragon,” we can do and be anything we want.  We can be happy and normal.  We can manage our disorder with proper treatment of it.  We can recover and we can be stable.

Is there a cure better than that?  And, if there were, at what cost?  What would we have to give up for it?

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember that God loves you and so do I,

Michele

Related posts:

1. No Cure for Bipolar Disorder
2. Glad to Have Bipolar Disorder
3. What if I Don’t “Feel Like” Having Bipolar Disorder?

This entry was posted on Monday, June 29th, 2009 at 5:31 pm and is filed under Opening Post. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.