Bipolar Survivor

Sometimes it’s the smallest things with bipolar disorder that can make the biggest difference, you know?

I had to go to see my step-daughter graduate from high school the other day and I was so very nervous about it, because there were going to be so many people there (I do not do well around a lot of people, believe me).

I started hyperventilating and going into an anxiety attack, just thinking about all the people who were going to be there, and really started getting all worked up.  So I knew I had to do something about it, because I just wasn’t going to miss this graduation.

And I really didn’t want this to keep affecting my bipolar disorder like it seemed to be doing.

So I decided to do two things:

1.  Start doing some deep breathing exercises, to slow my breathing down and relax me.

2.  Start thinking some positive thoughts.

The deep breathing did, in fact, slow my breathing down to normal, so the anxiety went away quicker than I think it would have if I didn’t do the exercises, so that started making me feel better right away.

But I think if I hadn’t combined it with changing my thoughts, it still wouldn’t have been as effective as it was.

The first thought I changed was probably the most important.  I started thinking, “This isn’t about me.  This is about Cassie.  I’m doing this for her.  She will be disappointed if I’m not there to see her graduate.  This is NOT about me.  This is about HER.” 

I just kept repeating that to myself over and over again, taking the emphasis off myself and onto my step-daughter, and I started feeling better.  We always feel better when we’re thinking about others than when we’re thinking about ourselves anyway (at least that’s my opinion).

So that”s what I mean about how sometimes it’s the simplest things that make the biggest difference with bipolar disorder.

Before long, I was my old self again!  No more anxiety, no more negative thoughts, no more hyperventilating!

I was able to go see Cassie graduate, and everything was fine!

So the next time you find yourself in a bad spot with your bipolar disorder, try looking at the small things first – try to discover if it’s just a small thing that’s causing you to have a bad time; then see if you can help yourself feel better by counteracting it with a small measure as well (like I did with the deep breathing and changing my thoughts).

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,

Michele

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 1st, 2010 at 2:45 pm and is filed under Opening Post. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.