Well, I’m still feeling a little tired today — still think I’m trying to do too much, but I vow to slow down, as I do not want to go into a manic episode. The thought just crossed my mind that there was a time when I would have considered this “being on a roll” and would ride it out until the inevitable end. But no more! I’ve had one more episode than I ever wanted to have.
I know one of the reasons I’m so “hyper” is the excitement of the approaching holidays. I’ve been shopping on ebay for my husband, and it has been such a blast getting all these packages in the mail! Every day it’s something new, and it’s fun to get things in the mail.
You would think my work would slow down during the holidays, but it’s just the opposite! We are now doing THREE newsletters a month – bipolar, borderline personality disorder, and schizophrenia, and I have to write articles for all three. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining one bit! I am just so grateful to have a job in this economy, much less one that is so well-suited to my bipolar disorder. Did you know that before I started working for www.bipolarcentral.com, for which I’ve been working over FOUR years, that I could barely hold down a job for even 6 months? I love this job.
I am getting so excited about Christmas coming! We went and got our tree yesterday, and we’ll put it up tonight. It’s one of those pre-lit trees (less hassle for us). It’s just the 2 of us this year, so we’re having a good time getting each other these little surprises. My husband is so frustrating tho – he is TOO good at keeping secrets, and I have no idea what I’m getting!
But, both being the good beepers (people with BP) that we are , we are both aware of our behavior patterns and know not to get too excited or to let the spending get out of hand. But I’ve gotten such great deals! I’m more excited about seeing him open his presents than I am about getting anything.
He had asked me to come up with a list of what I wanted for Christmas, and I was totally taken aback, as I realized I already have everything I want and need, because I have stability with my bipolar disorder, and I am clean and sober. What more could I ask for (except I did give him a few ideas, like books – I love to read, but they’ve gotten so expensive to buy)?
Bipolar stability is the one great equalizer. It doesn’t matter how much or how little of an income you have… it doesn’t matter if you live in a big house or a small one… drive a new car or used car… if you’re young or old… if you have a prestigious job or not… Bipolar disorder has no regard for any of those things – you can still get it.
But if you’re like me, you’re just grateful for every day that you go without an episode, and for that I feel so blessed at this Christmas season. I know God is watching over me, as I know things could be so much worse – like those years when I was in an episode every time I turned around (I’m a rapid cycler).
I guess what I’m trying to say is, “Hang in there” if you haven’t quite got the Christmas spirit yet – it’s not about presents and big trees and lots of decorations. It’s about appreciating the gift of your stability. That’s the greatest gift we could get, after all!
Wishing you peace and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
Hi,
Loved your article. Coming off a depressive episode in Sept/Oct I am appreciative of my stability right now. My son is going to leave the first week of January to begin training for Afghanistan. He will go there two months after the training begins. We were fortunate enough to have him home for Thanksgiving and now for Christmas, so I understand about being thankful for the little things as well as the big things.
Merry Christmas
Cindy
What exactly would you like me to write more about? I am open to suggestions.
Blessings,
Michele
Becky, I went to that website, and there is a different book being promoted there. I’m very interested in “Blessed with Bipolar” – even to offering to review the book for bipolarcentral.com, and possibly getting the author to do an interview for us. Can you double-check the link or let me know how I can get in touch with the author?
Blessings,
Michele
My favorite gift to give during Christmas day is a fruit basket with toys and gift certificates. they can really put a smile on someone’s face:~;
Delightful, just found you! I can commisserate with everything you said. The best gift to give me for bipolar would be that someone else would host Christmas! One year I was away for holiday in December. My mother had passed away that year so it was a year of grief and transition. When I returned from my hoiday, one of my daughters had put up the tree! What a gift to NOT have to do that. Anyways, keep up the good work. I will continue to visit. Please come and visit me sometime.