My dad is dying.
He has emphysema, because he smoked all his life. He quit several years ago, but I guess it caught up with him, and he’s paying for it now.
It started a few months ago, when he couldn’t breathe, panicked, and called 911. They came, and took him to the hospital, where he was diagnosed, treated, and then released the next day.
He’s not on oxygen or anything (it’s not that advanced), but he is on inhalers. And he has to take a tranquilizer, because when he can’t breathe, he panics, which makes it harder for him to breathe, and he goes into this cycle.
He feels like he can’t get enough air, so he goes into his car and runs the air conditioner into his face and drives around until he feels better. He lives in Florida, so nobody thinks he is crazy or anything.
The problem is, my mom says he is now doing this like 20 times a day. He just feels like he can’t breathe.
He thinks he’s dying. He doesn’t think he has much time left. He’s even asked the doctors about it and, of course, they won’t tell him how much time he has left, because they just don’t know. But he’s not bad enough to need oxygen yet, so I guess he’s got some time.
My problem is, well, my dad is dying. And it’s hard for me to face up to this fact. I mean, this is my daddy. He may not have been the best dad when I was growing up, but we made peace about 10 years ago, and now, well, I just don’t want to lose him yet.
Like I said, he lives in Florida, and I live in TN. So I don’t get to see him. But I do talk to him on the phone every day. Even if it’s only for a few minutes, just to say hi (sometimes it’s hard for him to even do that because he can’t breathe), it means so much to both of us.
These days, we just take each day as it comes, because we don’t know how much time we’ve got. Who knows, he may live for years (tho he doesn’t think so), or he may die next month.
But I take each day with him still in my life as a gift from God.
Cherish your time with your family.
Wishing you joy and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,