Hey, y’all –
Kind of a bad day for me. Four years ago on the 15th (easy to remember, cuz it’s tax day), my sister committed suicide because of bipolar disorder.
No, I’m not in denial. There was no other reason for it.
Debi was a fantastic woman. Of course, I’m prejudiced, because I’m her sister, but I’m not the only one who felt that way. And not only my family, but all her clients felt that way, too. She ran a major, successful, international company built from the ground up. And all her friends felt that way about her as well.
She was happily married to the same man for over 21 years. She had a beautiful home, and a brand new car.
She had a family who loved her very much, a husband, friends, a successful business, good looks, money, home, car, happy life… now you tell me why someone would throw all that away and in a second just shoot herself?
Because Debi had bipolar disorder, and had gone off her medicatons because she “felt fine.”
See, that’s the “insidious insanity” of this monstrous mental illness called bipolar disorder. It can trick you into believing that you are fine and that you don’t need your medications.
Yet it is those very medications that are making you feel fine!
It is said that 1 in 5 people with bipolar disorder will kill themselves. Not my statistic, but a national statistic. Pretty scary numbers, huh?
But I believe them, because my beautiful, wonderful sister, who had everything to live for, was one of those statistics.
It scares me, and it should scare you, too. The only reason I’m not one of those 1 in 5 people is because I take my medications faithfully every day (even though I may complain about it sometimes).
I may not always want to, but then I think about my sister, and I take my medication. Because I know what happens if you don’t.
I know there’s a person who comments on here who doesn’t take her medication, but that’s only because she is pregnant, and is being watched VERY closely by her doctor. I also know that she is doing other things to remain stable, and that as soon as she has the baby she will go back on her medications. So she is an exception.
This is not just rambling. This is a warning.
Please, please, stay on your bipolar medications. Not just because of what happened to my sister. Not just because of the statistics.
But because I care about each and every one of you.
Case in point:
I had a girl who was writing to me. She said she wanted to commit suicide. She had gone off her medications because she said, “I’m just sick of taking them, and I want to be ME again!” She said she felt they were just “numbing me out.” I know this is a common complaint with many people with bipolar disorder. But consider the alternative!
Anyway, I tried to help this girl. We went back and forth with emails, and I tried to convince her to go back on her medications. I pointed out how life was worth living, and she wasn’t always going to feel this way. I thought I had convinced her to go back on her medications.
Then one day I got an email from her sister. The girl had, indeed, killed herself.
I cried like a baby. Should I have gotten involved? Maybe not. But I thought I could help her. Just like I thought I could help my sister.
But the fact is, when someone with bipolar disorder goes off their medication, they may be ok for a little while, because the medication stays in their system. Eventually, though, it wears off, and they start becoming delusional, and not in their right mind.
In that state, they stand a very good chance of committing suicide. Just like my sister, and just like this young girl.
My cousin’s son did the same thing, only using “suicide by cop.” Some of you may know what that is. He was in a manic episode, had police surrounding him, and pulled out a knife, so they shot him.
All these people would have lived if they just would have stayed on their medication — if they just would have gotten the help that they needed.
I know I may have come on strong today, and maybe even a little preachy, but this is a subject I feel VERY strongly about. I don’t want you to be a statistic. I don’t want you to be a Debi, or an Andrea, or a Jake.
Please, please, stay on your medication. Please, please, stay alive.
Wishing you peace and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
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Hi Michele, I am so sorry ythat you lost your sister the way you did. I understand what yu are going through and continue nto go through on the anniversary. On March 29th my Uncle killed himself in front of me. It has been ten years and it still hurts as it always will. On his anniversary date I still have flashbacks of that horrible night. He did not have bipolar though. He was a vietnam vet and had been suicidal since he returned from that aweful war. My heart goes out to you and your family. May God continue to Bless you all and may his healing hands help you to hurt less with each passing year.
I am doing good. Now that my vitamn D levels are getting back to where they need to be I am finding I have more energy. That is a good thing. I have the biopsy of my cervix on the 27th. Then on the 29th I am flying to Vermont for the funeral of a good internet friend who is also my roommates Aunt. We are driving back to bring the rest of his stuff out here and to relocate his cousin out here also.
I have nineteen puppies running around my house. They are four weeks and three weeks old. Two seperate mothers. We willbe trying to find them new homes when we return from Vermont. Boy can they make a mess of things. I am mopping my floors everyday sometimes twice. They are truelly a handful.
Hope things are good with you and your family.
Your Friend
Melissa
Melissa –
I’m so sorry for what you went through, and I can relate.
I’m glad you’re doing so well. As for the puppies, well… I’m glad I just have my one dog, and she sure doesn’t run around, just kinda lays there, cute as can be, just waiting to be petted.
Stay well, ok?
Michele