Comments on: Suicidal Thoughts

By: jan h.

jan h. — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 16:13:00 +0000

Thank you so much, Michelle, for reaching out to me. I hung on and saw my counselor and got a lot of fear out. Yesterday I was able to help an elderly lady get home who was ill and alone at the dentists. She trusted me. Now to trust myself. I belive that I am inherantly good and blessed. Jim has returned to writing me and I’m getting make help to know how to write back with lower emotionality. I have been stable for two days, eating rights, exercising, taking my meds, and my therapist strongly suspects insomnia brought the depressive state on, so I broke down and took Klonapin and Ambien together and slept 9 hours! A miracle which seems to be paying off. We can’t under-estimate restful sleep and good sleep habits if we are to hope for stability and clear thinking. Thanks again for reaching out to me in my despair, telling me that I was not alone, and to hang in there. Bless you always, Jan H.

By: leighanne

leighanne — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 00:51:00 +0000

i never really want to kill myself, i just wanted to be dead like you said–earlier this year i had a wave of funerals and to be honest i felt jealous of those lying in the caskets–they looked so peaceful and serene–no more worries or tears, no more ups and downs–i am in a pretty fast up and down roller coaster–being 6 weeks pregnant also does not help the craziness–
thank you for the advice of thinking of waiting another day–i have been waiting another day my whole life and 9 out of 10 times i am relieved i did!!!

By: BipolarPrincess

BipolarPrincess — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:47:00 +0000

The closest I have ever come to suicide is wanting to run away. I don’t know how to describe it, but the first time I had it all planned out in my crazy brain, I would drive downtown, ditch my car, and be homeless so no one could find me. Then I wouldn’t have to take care of my kids, my husband, my parents. I can’t imagine what it would be like to feel so low to consider suicide. I know how horrible I feel when I want to run away (especially since I’m 30 years old), just please, please, remember that you are not the only person feeling like you do. Maybe, hopefully, give you a little smile – I have had the hardest time getting treatment because I have never been suicidal. I have actually lied to doctors saying that I was just to get admitted to the psych ward in order to get the help I needed. Exactly how crazy is crazy, anyway??

By: Teresa

Teresa — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 01:41:00 +0000

Wow i hope its ok but i am also sharing this with a support group i am in so that this may be a help to many of them with the dreaded Bipolar disorder. I have it and for years i was in denial until my first suicide attempt which made me wake up and smell the coffee per say. I am so relieved to know that i am not alone and how many people i can relate to that have been through the same problems as i am . Thanks so much this is helping me more than you know..

By: Carol

Carol — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 01:15:00 +0000

Having just read your posting on Suicidal Thoughts – and having recently been diagnosed with BD – I think I understand why I honestly put up with the abuse from my husband for so long. I wanted out, wanted all the hurt and pain to go away but was too afraid to do it myself. I thought if I pissed him off or antagonized him enough – he would end it for me. Thank you for sharing this with me!