Comments on: Put On A Happy Face http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/put-on-a-happy-face/198/ Get an inside look at what its like to have bipolar disorder with Michele Soloway Sexton. Michele, a survivor herself, shares regularly on the ups and downs of dealing with the disorder, along with personal insights, lessons learned, and encouragement for others who also have bipolar disorder. Tue, 07 Feb 2012 15:09:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: Proud mother of 3 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/put-on-a-happy-face/198/comment-page-1/#comment-472 Proud mother of 3 Sat, 21 Mar 2009 14:06:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=198#comment-472 I was diagnosed BP about a year ago and I am currently on Lamictal. I was on abilify for about 6 months but it made my hair fall out. My biggest problem is that I don't have any emotions. I am neither happy nor sad. The best way I can discribe it is I feel flat. I just go thru my day to day life with little or no emotions. This is a huge change from who I was a year and a half ago. My husband has stated on numerous occations that I am not the same person. And I agree, the medication doesn't allow me to be. I want my old life back. I want to be that happy go lucky person again. Please don't misunderstand me I in no way want to hurt myself or end my life. I just want to FEEL again. <br/>Recently I got a promotion at work. You wouldn't know it I don't even talk about it. I don't feel excited about it. I got a promotion big deal. No excitment. On the other end my mom has suffered a stroke and had brain surgery to remove a blood clot. She is still in a coma. I don't feel sad about it. I don't feel anything anymore. No saddness no happiness. I guess what I am getting at is there any way out of this? Or am I to live my life out emotionless due to medication? I was diagnosed BP about a year ago and I am currently on Lamictal. I was on abilify for about 6 months but it made my hair fall out. My biggest problem is that I don’t have any emotions. I am neither happy nor sad. The best way I can discribe it is I feel flat. I just go thru my day to day life with little or no emotions. This is a huge change from who I was a year and a half ago. My husband has stated on numerous occations that I am not the same person. And I agree, the medication doesn’t allow me to be. I want my old life back. I want to be that happy go lucky person again. Please don’t misunderstand me I in no way want to hurt myself or end my life. I just want to FEEL again.
Recently I got a promotion at work. You wouldn’t know it I don’t even talk about it. I don’t feel excited about it. I got a promotion big deal. No excitment. On the other end my mom has suffered a stroke and had brain surgery to remove a blood clot. She is still in a coma. I don’t feel sad about it. I don’t feel anything anymore. No saddness no happiness. I guess what I am getting at is there any way out of this? Or am I to live my life out emotionless due to medication?

]]> By: DRO http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/put-on-a-happy-face/198/comment-page-1/#comment-454 DRO Mon, 23 Feb 2009 21:38:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=198#comment-454 I have been and continue to be (at times) open and honest with my closest friends and family about my 20 year bipolar disorder. It can be very difficult to do this and I find I walk a fine line on when to tell truth and when to get out a mask. I don't want to always lie and say I'm good or things are fine when asked. But I have found it both awkward and even depressing to a friendship to tell non-bipolar friends and family the truth. They don't understand feeling horrible and worthless, self-isolated in a small home office, able to do nothing about the swirling sadness that ravages my mind. When you can't see any physical evidence of disease and haven't experienced it yourself, I imagine a bipolar's comments must seem overly dramatic, morose and somewhat nonsensical. Being open is a noble goal. Once my closest friends asking how I am, instead enjoying the mask I automatically put on for them instead of telling my stories of brokenness, I often won't burden them with it any longer if possible. There is so much ignorance about mental illness out there I wonder if they suppose I'm magically cured? It would be nice to take an anti-bipolar anti-biotic and be freed from the struggle, but we all know this is just not the way it is. Best of luck to everyone out there who wonders when to tell truth and when it's easier for everyone involved if you just pretend. I have been and continue to be (at times) open and honest with my closest friends and family about my 20 year bipolar disorder. It can be very difficult to do this and I find I walk a fine line on when to tell truth and when to get out a mask. I don’t want to always lie and say I’m good or things are fine when asked. But I have found it both awkward and even depressing to a friendship to tell non-bipolar friends and family the truth. They don’t understand feeling horrible and worthless, self-isolated in a small home office, able to do nothing about the swirling sadness that ravages my mind. When you can’t see any physical evidence of disease and haven’t experienced it yourself, I imagine a bipolar’s comments must seem overly dramatic, morose and somewhat nonsensical. Being open is a noble goal. Once my closest friends asking how I am, instead enjoying the mask I automatically put on for them instead of telling my stories of brokenness, I often won’t burden them with it any longer if possible. There is so much ignorance about mental illness out there I wonder if they suppose I’m magically cured? It would be nice to take an anti-bipolar anti-biotic and be freed from the struggle, but we all know this is just not the way it is. Best of luck to everyone out there who wonders when to tell truth and when it’s easier for everyone involved if you just pretend.

]]> By: Michelle http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/put-on-a-happy-face/198/comment-page-1/#comment-453 Michelle Mon, 23 Feb 2009 15:50:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=198#comment-453 I have been trying not to hide who I am and what I fight from those around me. I refer to my disorder without apologizing for it. People need to know what it is, what it does, and that we're not crazy.... it's just chemical imbalances! Nothing really we can do about it, and that they don't have to treat me like a glass doll about to break. And because I have been open and forthcoming about it, those that I deal with all the time accept me and treat me just like they did before they knew. Because I haven't changed! Because I have been so open about it, and not ashamed, a good friend of mine got herself checked out too, and now has ner own diagnosis and treatment plan, and is feeling so much better. But she wouldn't have if I hadn't talked. <br/><br/>I know my situation is unique, not everyone is as accepting or understanding. And there will be people who <i>will</i> me differently, or set me apart. And that's their problem. I am sorry for how closeminded they are. I have courage to be me, because of a woman from church years ago who stood up and let us know about her! I bless her daily, for being an example to me! I have been trying not to hide who I am and what I fight from those around me. I refer to my disorder without apologizing for it. People need to know what it is, what it does, and that we’re not crazy…. it’s just chemical imbalances! Nothing really we can do about it, and that they don’t have to treat me like a glass doll about to break. And because I have been open and forthcoming about it, those that I deal with all the time accept me and treat me just like they did before they knew. Because I haven’t changed! Because I have been so open about it, and not ashamed, a good friend of mine got herself checked out too, and now has ner own diagnosis and treatment plan, and is feeling so much better. But she wouldn’t have if I hadn’t talked.

I know my situation is unique, not everyone is as accepting or understanding. And there will be people who will me differently, or set me apart. And that’s their problem. I am sorry for how closeminded they are. I have courage to be me, because of a woman from church years ago who stood up and let us know about her! I bless her daily, for being an example to me!

]]> By: Michele http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/put-on-a-happy-face/198/comment-page-1/#comment-451 Michele Fri, 20 Feb 2009 17:23:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=198#comment-451 Melissa, my dear friend,<br/>I stand corrected. <br/>And I feel so bad for you. All that, and bipolar on top of it. You really have to try so hard every day, just to hold it together. I respect you for that.<br/>Love and prayers, sweetie.<br/>Michele Melissa, my dear friend,
I stand corrected.
And I feel so bad for you. All that, and bipolar on top of it. You really have to try so hard every day, just to hold it together. I respect you for that.
Love and prayers, sweetie.
Michele

]]> By: Melissa http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/put-on-a-happy-face/198/comment-page-1/#comment-450 Melissa Fri, 20 Feb 2009 12:30:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=198#comment-450 Michele you wrote<br/>"Other people have physical illnesses (like asthma or diabetes), and they don't have to wear masks, afraid they won't "fit in." and I must disagree with you on this comment. I have asthma and I am diabetic. With both diseases I wear a mask and I am always worried about fitting in. People with asthma pretend their breathing is normal. They don't fit in with normal people. They can't run or do sports like normal people can. Their lungs prevent them from doing that. They were the masks to keep their loved one from worrying about them. The same goes for diabetics. I wear masks to hide the fact that I aint doing so well. I have been wearing that mask for so long lately because my sugars are skyrocketting to dangerous level and I don't want my hubby to worry. I pretend to be feeling fine. I don't feel like I fit in with the normal population because I can not eat like they do. I have to watch every bite I take because of the effects it has on my sugar. I stand in a room of friends and family at holidays and watch them eat all these desserts and put on a happy face so they don't see how much I wish I could eat like they do.<br/>I think with every disease there is potential to wear those happy face masks and to feel like you don't fit in. It isn't conclusive to just bipolar. <br/>Melissa Michele you wrote
“Other people have physical illnesses (like asthma or diabetes), and they don’t have to wear masks, afraid they won’t “fit in.” and I must disagree with you on this comment. I have asthma and I am diabetic. With both diseases I wear a mask and I am always worried about fitting in. People with asthma pretend their breathing is normal. They don’t fit in with normal people. They can’t run or do sports like normal people can. Their lungs prevent them from doing that. They were the masks to keep their loved one from worrying about them. The same goes for diabetics. I wear masks to hide the fact that I aint doing so well. I have been wearing that mask for so long lately because my sugars are skyrocketting to dangerous level and I don’t want my hubby to worry. I pretend to be feeling fine. I don’t feel like I fit in with the normal population because I can not eat like they do. I have to watch every bite I take because of the effects it has on my sugar. I stand in a room of friends and family at holidays and watch them eat all these desserts and put on a happy face so they don’t see how much I wish I could eat like they do.
I think with every disease there is potential to wear those happy face masks and to feel like you don’t fit in. It isn’t conclusive to just bipolar.
Melissa

]]>