Bipolar Survivor

I hope y’all had a good Christmas.  I sure did!  I got everything that I wanted but, more importantly, it was quiet and without chaos.  I’m so grateful for stability this year.  And yet at the same time, I am wary.  I know from the past that these are bad months for me, as my sister’s birthday was in December, and remembering her is hard (although it seems to be getting less painful each year).   The people in the bakery department always look at me funny when I ask for ONE (and only one) cupcake.  I put it and a candle in front of my sister’s picture and I sing her Happy Birthday.  Now, having confessed that, I’m afraid that you’ll think I’m crazy, too!  But we all deal with grief and remembrance in our own ways.

After my sister’s birthday, Christmas was just 10 days away, so I had something to look forward to, and that’s another thing.  When you’re trying to deal with bipolar disorder, it’s easier when you have things to look forward to, no matter how small.  Like every Friday, my husband and I have Date Night.  It doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive (can’t be, when we live on Disability).  It gives me something to look forward to each week.  Then on Sundays I have “Movie Watching Day,” where I don’t work and instead, watch classic movies all day.  That’s something else I have to look forward to.  It was hard to learn how to practice relaxation, but that’s the way I do it, and it works for me.

You should have things to look forward to as well.  It really helps to deal with the daily ins and outs of coping with bipolar disorder.  It gives you something to look forward to – something positive in your life.  And being positive is the name of the game.

In addition to short-term things to look forward to, it’s good to have longer-term ones as well.  Like we plan to go to Colorado in April to see my oldest son and my brother and his family, and in October, we’re looking forward to going on a cruise for our anniversary.

If you have both short-term and long-term goals (things to look forward to), it really does help to deal with your disorder.  I always try to make sure I have something coming up, even if it’s months away.  Like right now, I’m looking forward to the beginning of the new year, and that’s just a few days away.  But a word of caution here – if the new year is all you have to look forward to right now, you may become depressed on Jan. 2nd.  Make sure you have something long-term to look forward to in the new year, and you’ll feel much better.

The new year brings with it excitement at new opportunities, new growth, further achievement and, hopefully, sustained stability.  It’s an exciting time!  But walk wary, as I do, and don’t take that stability for granted.  You may have to work a little harder to maintain it after the holidays.

There’s a fine line between depression vs. contentment, especially right after the holidays.  If your contentment is not based on something substantial (or if you have no contentment), you may fall prey to post-holiday depression, as many people with bipolar disorder do.  After all the gifts are opened, try to keep the spirit alive in your heart.  Plan things to do so that you still feel productive.  Do things that make you feel good about yourself, like doing things for others, or volunteering for a worthy cause.

And try not to be so self-contained.  Like volunteering, taking your mind off yourself and your problems and putting it on other people and their needs is a good way to keep balance and insure stability.  Self-pity is the fastest way to dive into a bipolar depression.

Yes, so this year I feel content.  It’s a quiet feeling, a peaceful one, one filled with gratitude.  Not only that I had such a good holiday, or have such great kids and a great husband, or even that I have such a good job – I’m grateful that I made it through another Christmas without a bipolar episode!  And I am content with that.  The presents didn’t matter.  Just the joy of being able to receive them did.

I hope you’re making it through these post-holiday days ok.  Try to stay on the side of contentment (and gratitude), and avoid the pitfalls of post-holiday depression.  I wish you happiness at this time, as always.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,

Michele

This entry was posted on Monday, December 28th, 2009 at 2:41 pm and is filed under Opening Post. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.