Comments on: Pain Will Change You

By: Diana

Diana — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 04:35:38 +0000

Hi Michele, I hope this finds you well. I have a 47 year old Sister who I suspect is Bipolar. She has lots of health problems and pain. She is on MANY drugs, so many, I have no idea. That’s another problem, she takes lots of drugs, prescribed and not prescibed. her own Dr. kicked her out and stopped seeing her because she was urine testing pos. for other drugs and illegals. She also drinks on top of all this! Many times, she speaks VERY loudly and talks so fast that you can’t even understand her. It isnt always like this but when it is, it is like she is on speed. Is this a Bipolar thing? It seems to go away for awhile so we dont know if it’s drugs or something else. We dont know what to expect from her from one day to the next. She doesnt sleep and is now anorexic too. She is breaking my parents hearts. My Dad recently commited suicide. he had Mesothelioma Cancer and was suffering so badly. he couldnt take it any longer and sadly, he felt like he was a burden to us, even tho we never felt that way. I was honored to help him. He knew about my Sister and it broke his heart. Now my Mother is not only having to deal with his recent death, but she is having to deal with my Sister’s situation. My Sister needs help of some sort but she will not admit that she has any problems. She says that she is fine. I know that you need to admit it before you can get help but honestly, we have talked until we are blue in the face. Poor Dad tried his heart out to get her help but it never happened. We are at our wit’s end with her but is the racing thoughts, fast talking, so on normal for some people that are Bipolar? I know that she has been on many different antidepressants but none have helped her as of now, as many years as i can remember. Her Drs just keep feeding her drugs, which doesnt help. Thanks for listening, Im so sorry about your Sister. Noone has an idea what it is like to lose a loved one to suicide until they have been though it.

By: college grants

college grants — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 07:29:38 +0000

Keep posting stuff like this i really like it

By: Christina MacDonald

Christina MacDonald — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 15:07:53 +0000

I love this..fianlly someone touched on a topic that I have dealt with and still deal with…PAIN!! (I am very bi-polar)…….
I have had so mauch pain in my life it is over whelming to only the certain ones who know about it, which is very little, as I do not let too many people close…they have made comments “how did you survive through that?” …..
I have survived a horrible past from hell…total physical and mental abuse beyond humanity from my father, lost my mother just recently….
The biggest pain in my life that I still deal with is the loss of my Mother. We lost 20 years together (thanks to my father)…never knew where she was, or how she was, could bearly remember what she looked like…then one day by fluke, I was admitted to the hospital from a car accident, a doctor who cared for me was HER doctor at the time in the area, and long story short that ishow we found each other…..
I knocked on her door after 20 years of not seeing her…I thought she was going to drop right there..we bonded right away to a degree..but then the anger and pain of her not being there, and what she did to us kids (10 of us) came back…so the emotional punishment kicked in for a bit, not understanding her position and what was what……
She was very ill, a bad heart…Congested heart failure was killing her and other health issues…so basically she was dying. Long story short again, I got only about maybe three years with her before she had passed away, alot of unresolved issues, but she did tell me why things were the way they were….I forgave her……
The pain in me is still there…she is with me there, like she haunts me once and a while. I can not let go of the pain, but hide it very well so it does not destroy me like it did…I was devistated, and fell into a deep depression….eventually came out of it….have her ashes tucked away in a special place…we never got to finish what we started..we ran out of time…and that kills me…but what can ya do? she is not here any more to finish it…..
Pain to me is hard to let go, depending on what it is. Pain from my past is with me always, keeps me on the edge, keeps me alert, keeps the walls up to a degree as to whom to let close and how far in…..it is always there….
I do not let things go easily, but alot of times I do not display that I am in pain either, hide it very well…..pain is a mysterious thing to me, how it makes me feel inside, sometimes alone because no one understands my pain when I get brave and do talk about it…so I just keep it in to my self and deal with it on my own….

By: Michele

Michele — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 14:44:03 +0000

Hi, Sandy –
Unfortunately, you cannot help someone who doesn’t see the need for help. About the only thing you can do is change your own reaction to her behaviors – do not enable her to continue them. It is a very difficult thing to do, I know, because I had to do it with my sister, but at one point, no matter what she said or did, all I would say was, “Debi, you’re sick and you need help.” And I would just repeat that phrase. I told her I could not help her any more. And the sad fact is that neither you nor your family are really helping your sister anyway. You’re only making it easier for her to get what she wants. She’s not a bad person, but she is exhibiting unacceptable behaviors, and that’s what you need to put a stop to. She does need professional help, at least to get diagnosed. Once she is on the right medication and in therapy, you should see these behaviors diminish. But she has to be the one who is willing to get help, which she won’t do as long as the loss of her son is a convenient excuse. For your own sake (and the sake of the rest of your family), go to http://www.bipolarcentral.com and read some of the articles for supporters. They might help you. I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help to you, but I do feel for you in the situation you’re in.
Blessings,
Michele

By: Sandy

Sandy — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 20:40:20 +0000

Hi Michele – I have a question about bipolar…my sister who is 49 has never been diagnosed with bipolar, but has shown just about every sign there is pretty much her whole life. My family has been split over her illness because some can see there is a problem, but the others want to ignore it. There has always been chaos or turmoil and she is always in the middle of it or the source of it within my family. To add insult to injury, she lost her 28 year old son in May 2008 in a horrific car crash. It has been 21 months now & she refuses to work or get out of the house. She feels that her family should continue to pay her bills & financially take care of her because she “just lost her son.” The family has found out that she exploits her son’s death by asking people for money on behalf of his memorial! There is no memorial! When we had his funeral, she actually asked us to “take up an offering!” I was so embarrased! I know that this is from her bipolar or something, but when I bring it up…I’m causing trouble or I’ve done things wrong in my past & we should forgive her! One minute she can be as sweet as can be & the next she can cut you in half with her sharp tongue! Would her bipolar magnify her grief? Can you help me help my family help my sister?
Thank you for your time.
Sandy