Well, did you get to see the solar eclipse last week? I didn’t. I tried, but we didn’t get it real good where I live.
They got to see it real good about 60 miles from here, and we thought about going, but it’s a good thing we didn’t – it turned out they ended up with about 100,000 visitors there, and the town is small to begin with!
The interstate was totally backed up with people! We would’ve had to drive up there real early just to get a spot, then wait there all day, just to see the eclipse for all two minutes of it! Then spend hours tied up in traffic trying to get home.
All for something that lasted for what, two minutes? We just didn’t think it was worth it.
So we tried to watch it from our deck, but we didn’t get a clear view of it.
We were disappointed because, after all, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Something we’d never get to see again. Oh, well. Life goes on.
Made me think of all the other things I’ve missed out on in life…
Times when I was high or drunk, or even just episodic with my bipolar disorder, too depressed to even get out of bed to face the day.
I wasted so much time, I think now. I definitely believe that about my drinking and drugging days, at least. I had control over that – I could have made better decisions about how I spent those days.
But the bipolar days? I didn’t have control over those. Those were a chemical thing. I know that, but I still regret those days as well. So much time wasted, time I could have spent in much better ways.
I hate what this disorder has stolen from me. I hate those days when I couldn’t get out of bed, crying and so depressed I wanted to die. I spent months like that.
And I felt so powerless. I would cry out to the Lord, so lost, so helpless and hopeless. And I felt so far away from Him at those times.
But these days are so much better. It’s been 10 years since my last bipolar episode (where I had to be hospitalized), and I am living happily ever after. Oh, I am still cautious, don’t get me wrong.
I am still ever vigilant, watching for signs and symptoms of an episode, but I don’t look for one around every corner.
I enjoy my days, and I am happy about where I am in life. I have been happily married to my best friend (who also has bipolar disorder) for over 10 years now. I get to see my two twin granddaughters each week, and they are such a joy! They are 4 years old, and they sure tire me out, but I love every minute of being with them.
I love my job. I have been working for Dave at Bipolar Central now for 12 years. I’ve always wanted to be a writer, and this job affords me the opportunity to be one. The best part is that I get to work from home!
I have a beautiful home – it is a log cabin in Tennessee, where I can drive a little ways and see the Smoky Mountains. It is gorgeous here, and so peaceful.
And I love my dog. Her name is Sunshine, and she is part Doberman and part hound. We got her at the shelter, and I wouldn’t trade her for any purebred! She should have been a service dog – she is that protective and sensitive to both me and my husband and our moods. She is just the best.
I may have missed the once in a lifetime opportunity, but my life is still the best, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything! These are the blessings of sobriety and stability.
Wishing you joy and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,