Opening Post

Mom is Not Herself

Mom is just getting worse. Her roommate tells my dad, “She is just not being very nice.” The nurses tell him, “She is being very mean.” And I can attest, according to my last phone call with her, that she is being downright “nasty.”

She is just not herself. This is just opposite her personality. She was never like this “before.” Before what, I don’t know.

I’m not sure what happened, whether this is a major bipolar episode or dementia or whatever. Maybe she even had a stroke? But the doctors just aren’t saying anything, giving any indication. And she can’t see her psychiatrist while she is in the assisted living facility.

Get this: she told my dad that her teeth were hurting her (she has dentures, of course), and that she needed to see her dentist. She said she had called the dentist and made an appointment for the next day.

So the next day (Friday), my dad picks her up at the assisted living facility and takes her to the dentist’s office, only to find out they are closed on Fridays! She lied to him!

She totally manipulated him to get him to take her out of the facility. And he fell for it. And boy, did he get in trouble for it, too, because, as he found out, it is totally against the rules to take a resident off the grounds for any reason!

And get what else she did: While they were off-site, she told him she was “starving,” so he took her for something to eat, and she ate TWO hamburgers!

Later, she refused to eat her lunch at the facility, of course. So it went down as she is “not eating,” and her refusal appeared negative for her.

Again, my dad was manipulated by my mom. Can you believe this behavior? We just don’t know what is causing it.

In the meantime, she is still not eating, taking her meds, or doing her physical rehab. And she is being combative to the nurses and other professionals who are trying to help her.

My brother thinks my dad should make some kind of arrangements to get her to be able to see her psychiatrist off-facility grounds. He needs to up or change her meds or give her something for her dementia if that’s what it is. I agree with my brother. There’s got to be something that can help her mental state, because this is really bad.

Mom is telling my other brother that she is dying, and “they are poisoning me.” She has also told my dad that she wants to be with Debi. Debi was my sister who had bipolar disorder and killed herself 12 years ago.

When she last talked to my other brother, she made him cry. Now I’m afraid to talk to her, because I’m afraid she’s going to make me cry, too. She has this way of upsetting me, getting to me.

Up till now, I called my mom every day, no matter what. Even when she was in an episode (I would just let her ramble). But I have stopped calling her every day since she has been acting like this, for fear of how she will be when I call.

But I also feel obligated to call her, you know, to be the “good daughter.” To at least try to talk to her, even though she might be mean. On the other hand, this might be the day that she might be nice, too. So I’ll try to call her, in hopes. We can always hope for better, can’t we?

Wishing you joy and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

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