Opening Post

Memorial Day Musings

Well, it’s Memorial Day. I have no one in the military to remember on this day, just a general remembrance of the many brave men who served this country.

But I have been doing some thinking today, of the freedom for which I am very grateful.

Ya know, when I was undiagnosed with my bipolar disorder, I was all bound up. I was certainly not free at all.

My life was a mess. Totally. I knew something was very wrong, I just didn’t know what it was.

It took many years to find out what it was. In fact, I was in my mid-40’s before I was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and it took another year before I was finally on the right medication to control it.

It was then that I was finally free of the oppression that bipolar had me bound up in all my life.

You have no idea how great that felt! Or maybe you do. If you have bipolar disorder and have been diagnosed and put on medication, you are probably experiencing some order being restored into your life now.

Let me assure you – it gets better!

It took many years for my life to get as out of control as it was by the time I was finally diagnosed.

But then over the following year, as we experimented with medications for the disorder, my life gradually began to come into control, and was so much more manageable.

What a difference medication made! No more mood swings! Wow!

After having had mood swings all my life, finally things were on much more of an even keel. I wasn’t going off all the time, or sinking into the depths of despair.

It was so nice to know that life was actually manageable! I had come to believe that that was a totally inconceivable notion (in my life, at least).

Relationships were restored.

Work went better, and I was able to hold a job for longer than just a few months without having a breakdown and totally losing it!

Life just went smoother altogether.

But the main thing was the ups and downs. No more!

See, for me, the mood swings had been horrible. I had the real extremes of mood, even in the same day, so it was really bad. And they changed so rapidly! I just couldn’t keep up sometimes. I would be laughing one minute and crying the next.

One day I would be shopping my head off, on top of the world, the next day I would be suicidal.

But then you might be able to relate. Hopefully your bipolar disorder isn’t as bad, though.

The main thing is to get diagnosed and get on medication. That’s the only hope we have of living any kind of a “normal” life.

Which is what I do now. Believe it or not, it has been over 11 years since my last major episode! And I live as close to a normal life as you can live and have bipolar disorder.

Of course, I am still always on guard, watching for signs and symptoms of an episode. You can never get complacent. Even though it’s been so long, that doesn’t mean that I still might not go into an episode, so I have to watch it still. But this way, I’d be able to catch it early and be able to do something about it.

The name of the game is stability. And with stability comes serenity. And praise the Lord for that.

Wishing you joy and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

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