Hey, y’all –
Today I went shopping with my mom, and we had a blast! We love to go to thrift stores, because you get a lot more for your money. So I bought a lot of stuff!
And it made me think of something.
I thought about the spending sprees associated with bipolar manic episodes. And I thought, here I am doing all this shopping and, yeah, I was with my mom, and we both have BP, and we were kind of “high,” having this great time…
So does that mean we were in manic episodes?
No. Because just one symptom of an episode doesn’t mean that you’re in an episode.
It’s ok to be just excited. It’s even ok to get very excited. It’s ok to go shopping. It’s even ok to do quite a bit of shopping.
As long as the excitement and shopping don’t get out of hand… and as long as they don’t become combined with other symptoms of a manic episode… then it’s ok.
Now, I’ve also had the opposite happen.
I’ve had bad days. I even call them bad bipolar days. You know, those days when you just feel down, and you don’t know why. I even acknowledge that I’m depressed.
But so what? Does that mean that I’m in a bipolar depressive episode?
Even people who don’t have bipolar disorder have bad days. They even get depressed. It’s normal. It’s ok.
It’s even ok for us to get depressed sometimes. As long as it doesn’t go on too long, and as long as it’s not combined with other symptoms of a depressive episode, it’s ok. You’ll come out of it.
The problem comes when you jump to conclusions. When you experience just one symptom and go, “Oh no, I’m going into another episode,” without seeing first if it’s just a temporary thing or not.
There are times when my depression has gone on longer than a day or two, and on those occasions I have erred on the side of caution and called my psychiatrist and told him what was going on, just to be safe. Then I watched myself and my moods closely to make sure I didn’t go into an episode.
I talked to my therapist about it, and did all the other things I do to manage my disorder. And I discussed how I was feeling with my supporter (my husband), and with my mom (my secondary supporter).
Just in case. Because when we do go into an episode, we can’t trust our own thoughts and emotions. So we have to take precautions.
There have been times I have been wrong, and that’s why I’ve set up this system of checks and balances.
Still, I don’t use it when there is only one symptom present, and on only one occasion. Like today, just getting excited and going shopping with my mom. It was a happy time, and I had a great day. And I am definitely not manic.
I can usually tell the difference. Can you?
How do you know when you’re going into a bipolar episode?
Wishing you peace and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
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I guess there are just times when I feel down, and then there are times when I am way more apathetic than usual. When I turn off the machine so people think I am on the other line. When I go grocery shopping for the week, but don’t feel like cooking so get take out pizza instead. 3 times a week. When my husband has taken over washing the laundry out of self defense because I just haven’t done it for over a week. Or when I know that I have to move to a bigger house, and that means packing and cleaning, and I just let the house get worse instead.
It’s times like this week that I really want to be on some medications, but for the baby’s sake I am trying to hold off a bit longer. It’s only partly being pregnant, I wasn’t even tired but decided to nap so I wouldn’t have to do anything. Sad.
Baby is doing great though, we had an ultrasound and everything looks good. So I guess it’s all worth it for now, and I’ll get back onto something soon.