Hey, y’all –
I have a girlfriend who has a mental illness, and today she posted on Facebook that she was boring. I commented to her post, reminding her of when her life was a chaos because of her disorder, and to be happy with boring stability!
Many people with bipolar disorder do consider themselves and/or their life boring once they’re on medication for it and are stable. They miss the high highs of their manic episodes.
I know, I used to be one of those people. In the beginning, I was terrible at staying on my medications because I felt bored, and that things weren’t “exciting” enough for me, so I’d go off my medications just to feel that manic high.
But manic highs can be as addictive as any other drug, in my opinion. And just like the addict who is thinking only of himself/herself and that next “buzz,” so someone who deliberately goes into manic episodes can be. That’s the way I was.
When I wanted to get “manic high,” I would always forget the inevitable CRASH into a bipolar depression afterwards. And then I would vow to stay on my medications, because boring was better than the chaos of my manic episodes.
At least when you’re stabilized on medication, you don’t have the “I wonders” of what you did during your last episode. And you don’t have to pay consequences for them, either.
You have to look at it as a “quality of life” kind of thing. Yes, the truth is that sometimes I get bored. But even people who don’t take medication for bipolar disorder sometimes get bored. It’s up to you to get “un-bored.”
But as a person, I don’t consider myself boring. In fact, because of being stable on meds, I can pretty much carry on a conversation (a rational conversation) with just about anyone. I don’t have to worry that I’m talking too much or too fast or jumping from subject to subject.
What I like about being stable on bipolar medications is the basic predictability of my life, compared with the chaotic life I lived before. I have the life I wanted now.
I am very happily married, I have a job that I love, 3 grown children with whom I have great relationships, parents who are still alive, a beautiful home, and, of course, my dog Princess who gives me unconditional love whenever I need it.
To tell you the truth, I do NOT miss the drama that my life was before medication made me stable. I like knowing I am in control of myself and my life. I think it’s up to YOU if your life is boring being on bipolar meds or not. You have the power to change it.
I believe that our quality of life depends on ourselves. Being stable on medication ensures that I am the one in control, not the bipolar disorder. I can do anything I want, go anywhere I want to, and be who I am.
Sometimes boring days are some of my favorite days — I pick up a good book or watch a good movie, or talk to someone, and I’m not bored any more!
If you feel bored (or boring) because of being on bipolar medication – like I told my girlfriend, just remember when your life was full of drama and chaos before you were on it, and be grateful for boredom!
Wishing you peace and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
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