Yes, I am happy in spite of bipolar problems. This latest one was because my nighttime bipolar medication quit working. Well, I wasn’t so happy about that, believe me. I almost ended up in the hospital over it, because I hadn’t slept in so long, and what little sleep I got wasn’t redemptive sleep. I was like a zombie!
I felt like I was walking around inside a cloud, and I was exhausted! I had no energy. I was awake, but I wasn’t, really, if you know what I mean. Like, my body still functioned (at minimum capacity) – my legs still made my body walk, my arms could still pick things up, etc. – but my mind felt like there was a giant cloud around my thoughts, and I just couldn’t see past it.
It was like I was asleep with my eyes wide open. Well, not wide open, but you get the picture. Totally exhausted for lack of good sleep. Which, as you’ve heard me preach many a time, is absolutely crucial for good management of bipolar disorder.
I didn’t let it go on long (I couldn’t). I finally called my psychiatrist’s office and spoke with the nurse. She was concerned that I was slurring my words. Imagine that! I told her that I was slurring my words because I was so exhausted because I hadn’t slept because my medication wasn’t working!
She finally got the picture and said she’d talk to the doctor and would call me back.
After talking to the doctor, she called me back and said that he was switching my medication and would call it right in to the pharmacy, which she (thankfully) did.
I picked it up, and used it that night (3 nights ago), and I’ve been sleeping fine ever since. Problem solved! (Wish all my problems were so easily solved!)
The thing is, although I had a problem, I was still happy. The rest of my life was fine, no problems. It was just that I couldn’t sleep. So the point is, you can still be happy even though you have bipolar problems.
On the other hand, you can’t expect your life to be perfect with no problems if you have bipolar disorder. There are going to be problems. But like I was saying, hopefully they will be easy resolvable, like this one was. Unfortunately, they usually aren’t. But sometimes they are. You just have to take the bad with the good, and try your best at all times.
So I’m happy, and sleeping again (yeah!). Gosh, what a difference a little (a lot) of sleep can make. No more walking around in a fog. I’m awake and alert, and more conscious of everything. I feel like myself again (double yeah!). And I’m getting a lot more done, too.
The main thing to remember is if you come across something like this, don’t wait. Call your doctor like I did. They can help you. Especially if it’s a medication problem. Sometimes the answer is as simple as just switching medications, like it was in my case. But you don’t know if you don’t call.
Wishing you peace and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
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