It’s not always easy to get along with others, even if you don’t have bipolar disorder. But it’s especially important when you do have the disorder, because you are the face of mental illness for others who are watching you and listening to you, and they will judge you by how you act.
We have to take care of ourselves first, that’s true, but if our needs are met and we are balanced and stable, we should be able to get along with others. Unfortunately, if we’ve been in bipolar episodes, especially if we’ve done some things or said some things to hurt other people, we may need to make amends.
Don’t be surprised if your family members don’t always understand you and why you do the things you do. Of course, you probably already know that, perhaps even have a family member who still has not forgiven you for something you said or did during a bipolar episode. But the responsibility is on our shoulders to act better after we’re out of the episode and, like I said, in some cases, this means making amends.
Even after the apologies are all said and done, however, some people may still not forgive or understand you and/or your behavior. That’s where it’s our responsibility to educate others about our disorder. Now, I didn’t say it would be easy or fun, but it’s just something we have to do. And the more we, ourselves, know about it, the better.
Sometimes, in a depressive episode, we may not have the strength, energy, or even desire to care what other people think. That doesn’t mean that our behavior still doesn’t hurt them, though. They may even be more concerned about us than we are about ourselves.
Sometimes, in a manic episode, we can get so “high” and impulsive, that we just give no thought to the consequences of our actions and behavior – we just may not care what other people may think. Then there are the consequences to pay afterwards, of course.
Getting along with people does take some degree of diplomacy. I’m not saying we have to be so self-conscious of everything we say or do, or to be afraid to be ourselves, but we should take other people’s feelings into consideration. Sometimes that boils down to just downright politeness, no matter how bad a mood we’re in.
It’s important that we are sensitive to those around us, especially those who care about us. I’m not sure I like that expression, “It’s easier to ask forgiveness than it is to ask permission.” If we’re conscious of our words and actions, and try to be positive and uplifting to those around us, then we won’t have to ask forgiveness later.
It still boils down to the old Golden Rule: “Treat others the way that you would like them to treat you.”
Wishing you peace and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
I have to agree with you on your post about getting along with others when you have Bi-polar…it has been a cahllenge and a half through out my life…either people would like me, feel uncomfortable around me, or not sure how to take me, or understand me….I can be at times a very over whelming to people at times, I am very charaismic, hyper, out going, out spoken…it is a hard balnace to figure out the best of times.
I am not the kind of girl to “fit in” to most people, groups of friends…I am not a girlie girl kind of woman and a lot of women I meet see that and do not really include me in a lot of things..for an example…I am a Resident Care aide at a facility here in Prince George Canada…and the staff is almost all women…I am nt included in there “talking / hanging out” groups, I do not fit in with them, or I am not their group type, the nly way we have to communicate is because we have to work together…that has been my life…I have not ever had real friends that I fit in with…always on someone else’s coat tails in groups….
My spuuse and I have been together for a bit. Next doorwe have a pair of great friends, he met them first before I moved in…and then introduced me…well it feels to me, they are friends with us both, but mostly him…I think they are friends with me because I am with him, I have been around them alone, and it is not the same as when me and my other are together with them, they are not as talkative, open just with me, the wife and I have never done girlfriend things…it is only when me and my other half are together…..
So I really loved your post, hit the nail on the head with me, I agree..it has been my life and it seems it will be the remainder of my life, I just do not really fit in, and struggle with relationships with people…
My other half never really understands me either, we clash alot, and getting along with him at times is not the easiest….
People don’t understand me. They often avoid me. I tend to be very grandiose and hyper and often times things come out of my mouth without me thinking. I feel like everyone is against me or does not like me. I am estranged from my family. They don’t undersand or even try to be educated about bipolar. It is very disheartening. My husband is my loyal and the greatest person in my life. I have all but 1 friend. It is just too much sometimes.
Hi Michele, thanks for sharing. During my manic episodes, I normally get easily irritable, and think that everyone is judging me. Thus, I normally try to do the opposite of what is expected of me, and inevitably hurt the people who try to help me out of the mistakes I make while I’m in my own manic world.
I’ve lost friends who do not understand the disorder over this. What makes it worse is that one of them is a psychology student and claims to understand the condition but is ignorant enough to think that my doctor is a quack and that I’m perfectly fine, and that I only use bipolar to get out of the mess I create. How do we educate such people? I get so paranoid about it that I resort to lying to the people I care about, and hiding from them whenever I get anxious/depressed. I think I’m hurting them by not being completely honest about me not being OK. The rest of the people who are left in my life assure me that this helps me sieve out people who do not deserve to be in my life. I’m still afraid that they will leave me someday…