Comments on: First Impressions http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/first-impressions/7/ Get an inside look at what its like to have bipolar disorder with Michele Soloway Sexton. Michele, a survivor herself, shares regularly on the ups and downs of dealing with the disorder, along with personal insights, lessons learned, and encouragement for others who also have bipolar disorder. Tue, 07 Feb 2012 15:09:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: Wayne Pompa http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/first-impressions/7/comment-page-1/#comment-1274 Wayne Pompa Tue, 15 Jun 2010 14:56:34 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=7#comment-1274 Informative article. Looking forward to more. Informative article. Looking forward to more.

]]> By: Theresa http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/first-impressions/7/comment-page-1/#comment-120 Theresa Fri, 01 Jul 2005 11:50:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=7#comment-120 Dear Michele, I am interested in reading Bipolar Episode-Manic Part One. Could you please tell me where to find it. I hope you keep posting Dear Michele, I am interested in reading Bipolar Episode-Manic Part One. Could you please tell me where to find it. I hope you keep posting

]]> By: Michele http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/first-impressions/7/comment-page-1/#comment-85 Michele Wed, 15 Jun 2005 21:41:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=7#comment-85 Co--<br/>What you describe can be a part of bipolar disorder, but can also describe regular depression as well, and also is general to many other disorders. If you could be more specific about your symptoms? Or perhaps go back to bipolar central and read some of the articles on bipolar disorder, it might answer your questions better? Co–
What you describe can be a part of bipolar disorder, but can also describe regular depression as well, and also is general to many other disorders. If you could be more specific about your symptoms? Or perhaps go back to bipolar central and read some of the articles on bipolar disorder, it might answer your questions better?

]]> By: CO http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/first-impressions/7/comment-page-1/#comment-81 CO Wed, 15 Jun 2005 03:01:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=7#comment-81 Is part of bipolar mean that you feel so badly about yourself and life, it feels overwhelming? Does it mean you have an aversion to people because you feel altered", because you are always trying to hide your bad feelings? Is part of bipolar mean that you feel so badly about yourself and life, it feels overwhelming? Does it mean you have an aversion to people because you feel altered”, because you are always trying to hide your bad feelings?

]]> By: BipolarPrincess http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/first-impressions/7/comment-page-1/#comment-78 BipolarPrincess Mon, 13 Jun 2005 20:38:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=7#comment-78 Rhonda, you will be blessed for sticking by Toby thru the thick and thin and trying to understand him! And Seroquel is a godsend! Malou, meds are a pain, but thank God that you don't have to keep switching medications to find the one that works the best and puts you on such a high that you think it's working and it's really not. If I knew the medication that I have now will keep working, I would take it as often as I needed to. Take the bad with the good!<br/>bipolarprincess.blogspot.com Rhonda, you will be blessed for sticking by Toby thru the thick and thin and trying to understand him! And Seroquel is a godsend! Malou, meds are a pain, but thank God that you don’t have to keep switching medications to find the one that works the best and puts you on such a high that you think it’s working and it’s really not. If I knew the medication that I have now will keep working, I would take it as often as I needed to. Take the bad with the good!
bipolarprincess.blogspot.com

]]> By: malou http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/first-impressions/7/comment-page-1/#comment-77 malou Mon, 13 Jun 2005 20:00:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=7#comment-77 would you mind if i ask what medications you're taking for your bpd? been under lithium and now in combination with trileptal for many yrs.(20 and 6)are these signs of CHEMICAL DEPENDENCY? i'm thankful that there are medications to control this disorder, but don't you honestly feel like getting off of it one day ,and not be dependent forever? this will surely alleviate my feelings of insecurity and lift me up to that wonderful feeling of being NORMAL again. would you mind if i ask what medications you’re taking for your bpd? been under lithium and now in combination with trileptal for many yrs.(20 and 6)are these signs of CHEMICAL DEPENDENCY? i’m thankful that there are medications to control this disorder, but don’t you honestly feel like getting off of it one day ,and not be dependent forever? this will surely alleviate my feelings of insecurity and lift me up to that wonderful feeling of being NORMAL again.

]]> By: Rhonda/Toby http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/first-impressions/7/comment-page-1/#comment-70 Rhonda/Toby Sat, 11 Jun 2005 14:13:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=7#comment-70 Hi Michelle, this is Rhonda, Toby's girlfriend. I wanted to send you a note and says that you are a godsend also. Because of this Blog, Toby was able to express some of the things that were going on in his head to me after posting the note to you. I am a LPN and when he started sharing his inner thoughts, I was very concerned. The past few months have been what I call a roller coaster. Physically and emotionally Toby completely shut down. I knew something was wrong, again. I told the Doctor that his meds were not working, so they increased it and told us to wait. I hate doctors that tell someone to wait, when someone is in crisis, waiting is not an option. But Toby tried to follow the orders and kept taking his meds and became worst day to day. As of Wednesday Night, Toby was admitted to the VA hospital in what they call the FLIGHT DECK. He has a team of 6 people working on his case. Doctors, Pharmacist, Social workers, and Nurses. As of Thursday, He was put on Seroquel and Valporic Acid for the Bipolar Crisis, along with the Celexa and trazadone. After a complete physical and lab work they found out his colesterol is 435, below 200 is the norm. So they are treating him for high colesterol.They are checking and examining every inch of his body and mind. As of yesterday, He was sleeping like a rock again, He was not hearing the voices in his head, and he said he actually felt better. He actually smiled and cracked jokes at some point yesterday. I just want to Thank you for this site. It feels good to know that we are not alone. So few people are educated about this horrible disorder and others alike. People have told Toby things like, you do this for attention, Go Figure. Being a smart a** I said "yea! he loves the roller coaster ride of life, the ups, the downs and the death thoughts, not enjoying life, he enjoys living in hell everyday when the crisis hits. People that have known him all his life, still don't understand. Even when you try to explain it, they think you should just be able to control it. I have seen Toby at his Best and I have seen him at deaths door. I just want the doctors to find a balance somewhere in the middle. I pray daily for him and others that have this disorder. I pray for the families to seek help and education so that they can understand, this is not controllable without Medication and Therapy. Long Term and Life Long! It's up to us the few that understand to make the difference. This helps get the word out. Thank Heavens for the Internet. May God bless you Michelle, Keep up the fight. Life is precious and everyone deserves understanding and compassion. We started our own blog, It's call Bipolars R Us. Check it out sometime. Thank you again, you are going to be blessed for the work that you do! and you have angels watching over you to protect you! Hi Michelle, this is Rhonda, Toby’s girlfriend. I wanted to send you a note and says that you are a godsend also. Because of this Blog, Toby was able to express some of the things that were going on in his head to me after posting the note to you. I am a LPN and when he started sharing his inner thoughts, I was very concerned. The past few months have been what I call a roller coaster. Physically and emotionally Toby completely shut down. I knew something was wrong, again. I told the Doctor that his meds were not working, so they increased it and told us to wait. I hate doctors that tell someone to wait, when someone is in crisis, waiting is not an option. But Toby tried to follow the orders and kept taking his meds and became worst day to day. As of Wednesday Night, Toby was admitted to the VA hospital in what they call the FLIGHT DECK. He has a team of 6 people working on his case. Doctors, Pharmacist, Social workers, and Nurses. As of Thursday, He was put on Seroquel and Valporic Acid for the Bipolar Crisis, along with the Celexa and trazadone. After a complete physical and lab work they found out his colesterol is 435, below 200 is the norm. So they are treating him for high colesterol.They are checking and examining every inch of his body and mind. As of yesterday, He was sleeping like a rock again, He was not hearing the voices in his head, and he said he actually felt better. He actually smiled and cracked jokes at some point yesterday. I just want to Thank you for this site. It feels good to know that we are not alone. So few people are educated about this horrible disorder and others alike. People have told Toby things like, you do this for attention, Go Figure. Being a smart a** I said “yea! he loves the roller coaster ride of life, the ups, the downs and the death thoughts, not enjoying life, he enjoys living in hell everyday when the crisis hits. People that have known him all his life, still don’t understand. Even when you try to explain it, they think you should just be able to control it. I have seen Toby at his Best and I have seen him at deaths door. I just want the doctors to find a balance somewhere in the middle. I pray daily for him and others that have this disorder. I pray for the families to seek help and education so that they can understand, this is not controllable without Medication and Therapy. Long Term and Life Long! It’s up to us the few that understand to make the difference. This helps get the word out. Thank Heavens for the Internet. May God bless you Michelle, Keep up the fight. Life is precious and everyone deserves understanding and compassion. We started our own blog, It’s call Bipolars R Us. Check it out sometime. Thank you again, you are going to be blessed for the work that you do! and you have angels watching over you to protect you!

]]> By: gabrielle http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/first-impressions/7/comment-page-1/#comment-69 gabrielle Fri, 10 Jun 2005 17:42:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=7#comment-69 I sympathise Michelle - I and my family are just helping another family member through a depressed episode and after the psychiatrist upped his anti-depressants, he swung way up into a manic phase. Thank the Lord he is now on mood stabilizers and hopefully will not have to go through this again. We should all work towards getting mental illness accepted in the community in the same way as high blood pressure is accepted as an illness. There is still a stigma attached.<br/><br/>I trained as a psychiatric nurse 20 years ago - my relative had just been diagnosed and I learnt a lot about mental illness. <br/><br/>My heart goes out to all who suffer this way and to their families who like me were so bewildered when it first reared its ugly head.<br/><br/>Pray for a cure!!<br/><br/>God Bless you all<br/><br/>Valerie (Leicester England) I sympathise Michelle – I and my family are just helping another family member through a depressed episode and after the psychiatrist upped his anti-depressants, he swung way up into a manic phase. Thank the Lord he is now on mood stabilizers and hopefully will not have to go through this again. We should all work towards getting mental illness accepted in the community in the same way as high blood pressure is accepted as an illness. There is still a stigma attached.

I trained as a psychiatric nurse 20 years ago – my relative had just been diagnosed and I learnt a lot about mental illness.

My heart goes out to all who suffer this way and to their families who like me were so bewildered when it first reared its ugly head.

Pray for a cure!!

God Bless you all

Valerie (Leicester England)

]]> By: Bill http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/first-impressions/7/comment-page-1/#comment-68 Bill Fri, 10 Jun 2005 16:29:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=7#comment-68 As Michele’s brother-in-law I’m really glad to see all these postings and the dialog that is being shared. The one point I would like to say to anyone who has Bipolar and is thinking suicide is this “If you kill yourself, you also do it to anyone else that cares about you as well”. When you die they die. You will take a big part of them with you. Nothing in their lives will ever be the same again and they will never feel the same way again. I lived with and loved Deb for 21 years through the good and the bad and wish I had another 21 years to share but she ended that. She let me find her and I will never get that picture out of my head. She also ended my life as I knew it and now I have to start over and can’t seem to do it. I still can’t believe she did it to herself and the rest of us.<br/><br/>You see, Deb, Michele’s sister and my wife thought no one cared if she lived or died which was not true. It was the bipolar doing it’s thing and no one could make her understand what was going on or make her take her meds. We all tried. We tried for 8 months with no success. In the end, I received over 200 emails and calls from people she touched with her laughter, smile and kind words. She hurt a lot of people in many different ways so you can say it was very selfish to take the easy way out and leave us all behind to pick up the pieces, to try to go on with our lives without her.<br/><br/>It was pretty easy to keep the episodes away. Two little pills once a day. We lost our home in hurricane Charley and had to relocate. She ran out of pills and decided she could wait a few weeks to find a new doctor and get more. Within 2 weeks she started an episode which lasted 8 months and took her life. <br/><br/>So PLEASE take your meds for yourself and for the people that love and care about you. Know that there are many people out there that really do care and love you even if you don’t think so. People don’t always tell you they care or love you because they may be shy about it but just look at the way they talk to you or treat you and you will know. Don’t take the easy way out and leave them dying, picking up the pieces, paying for your mistake. Be bigger than that. As Michele’s brother-in-law I’m really glad to see all these postings and the dialog that is being shared. The one point I would like to say to anyone who has Bipolar and is thinking suicide is this “If you kill yourself, you also do it to anyone else that cares about you as well”. When you die they die. You will take a big part of them with you. Nothing in their lives will ever be the same again and they will never feel the same way again. I lived with and loved Deb for 21 years through the good and the bad and wish I had another 21 years to share but she ended that. She let me find her and I will never get that picture out of my head. She also ended my life as I knew it and now I have to start over and can’t seem to do it. I still can’t believe she did it to herself and the rest of us.

You see, Deb, Michele’s sister and my wife thought no one cared if she lived or died which was not true. It was the bipolar doing it’s thing and no one could make her understand what was going on or make her take her meds. We all tried. We tried for 8 months with no success. In the end, I received over 200 emails and calls from people she touched with her laughter, smile and kind words. She hurt a lot of people in many different ways so you can say it was very selfish to take the easy way out and leave us all behind to pick up the pieces, to try to go on with our lives without her.

It was pretty easy to keep the episodes away. Two little pills once a day. We lost our home in hurricane Charley and had to relocate. She ran out of pills and decided she could wait a few weeks to find a new doctor and get more. Within 2 weeks she started an episode which lasted 8 months and took her life.

So PLEASE take your meds for yourself and for the people that love and care about you. Know that there are many people out there that really do care and love you even if you don’t think so. People don’t always tell you they care or love you because they may be shy about it but just look at the way they talk to you or treat you and you will know. Don’t take the easy way out and leave them dying, picking up the pieces, paying for your mistake. Be bigger than that.

]]> By: Michele http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/first-impressions/7/comment-page-1/#comment-65 Michele Thu, 09 Jun 2005 19:13:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=7#comment-65 satincloud--<br/>Please read the new posting on suicidal thoughts, and respond there. And remember, you are not alone. satincloud–
Please read the new posting on suicidal thoughts, and respond there. And remember, you are not alone.

]]> By: BipolarPrincess http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/first-impressions/7/comment-page-1/#comment-64 BipolarPrincess Thu, 09 Jun 2005 19:08:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=7#comment-64 I've never been in a support group, diagnosed BP 5 years ago, grandmother was BP, 9 year old son is ADHD (but I think BP), and the rest of my family is messed up, too. I love Dave's work here, it has helped so much. I've started my own blog to express myself to my family & friends, and hopefully to hear from other survivors & how they are coping! Please, please, please go to bipolarprincess.blogspot.com and post away!!!! I’ve never been in a support group, diagnosed BP 5 years ago, grandmother was BP, 9 year old son is ADHD (but I think BP), and the rest of my family is messed up, too. I love Dave’s work here, it has helped so much. I’ve started my own blog to express myself to my family & friends, and hopefully to hear from other survivors & how they are coping! Please, please, please go to bipolarprincess.blogspot.com and post away!!!!

]]> By: Satincloud http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/first-impressions/7/comment-page-1/#comment-62 Satincloud Thu, 09 Jun 2005 10:29:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=7#comment-62 I have a little problem. I haven't been able to hold a full-time job long enough to get insurance, because of mental illness. Therefore, I cannot get treatment, so that I can find and hold stable employment. I feel like I am in a Catch 22. I also feel like my mental health is declining rapidly, if that can be possible. I am having a harder time leaving the house. Suicide is looming over me. I haven't been diagnoised with BD, but feel this is my problem. I was in a head on car accident when I was 14. My best friend died in the hospital a few days later. I believe I suffered from PTSD then, but was not diagnosed. I began having petite mal brain seisures at 17, the doctors insinuated it was all in my head. At 33 I went into Status Elepticus and would have died if my husband hadn't rushed me to the hospital. They finally diagnosed me with Epilepsy. My husband divorced me and took away my two little daughters from me. <b>That killed me!</b> I have never gotten over it. Was diagnosed with an Acute Anxiety Disorder then. My husband accused me of being a manic depressive, like it was something you brought on yourself. I began reading this last week about the disorder, and you know, I think he was right. Half my family is on prozac. Aniety disorders and such. My kids are on prozac and my grandkids are ADHD. I am possibly ADD as well. When I was forty, I had my last seisure. However, I suffered from 5 migaraines a month for ten years after that. Last year they stopped, finally. During the last ten years I was diagnosed with depression. I went on paxil for about six months. For the migraines they put me on Amytriptline. I am not on any medication right now and haven't been for a year. I can think clearly for the first time in almost 40 years. I can remember clearly all the things I did and said. I am ashamed. I now know the feelings and thoughts I have are not normal and I need help. I am so tired. Tired of being on this emotional roller coaster and want off. Suicide is not an option, but I am becoming deserate for intervention of some kind. My life is misserable and I am hanging on by a thread. What should I do? Have any of you been in a simlar situation? If so, what did you do to get the help you needed? I have no friends and I have no support. I am hoping to find those things here. Thanks for listening to me, and by reading your posts, making this hillbilly hermit feel not so all alone. <br/><i><br/>PS: This is merely the condensed version of my mental and health problems...my paperback will be out soon!<br/></i> I have a little problem. I haven’t been able to hold a full-time job long enough to get insurance, because of mental illness. Therefore, I cannot get treatment, so that I can find and hold stable employment. I feel like I am in a Catch 22. I also feel like my mental health is declining rapidly, if that can be possible. I am having a harder time leaving the house. Suicide is looming over me. I haven’t been diagnoised with BD, but feel this is my problem. I was in a head on car accident when I was 14. My best friend died in the hospital a few days later. I believe I suffered from PTSD then, but was not diagnosed. I began having petite mal brain seisures at 17, the doctors insinuated it was all in my head. At 33 I went into Status Elepticus and would have died if my husband hadn’t rushed me to the hospital. They finally diagnosed me with Epilepsy. My husband divorced me and took away my two little daughters from me. That killed me! I have never gotten over it. Was diagnosed with an Acute Anxiety Disorder then. My husband accused me of being a manic depressive, like it was something you brought on yourself. I began reading this last week about the disorder, and you know, I think he was right. Half my family is on prozac. Aniety disorders and such. My kids are on prozac and my grandkids are ADHD. I am possibly ADD as well. When I was forty, I had my last seisure. However, I suffered from 5 migaraines a month for ten years after that. Last year they stopped, finally. During the last ten years I was diagnosed with depression. I went on paxil for about six months. For the migraines they put me on Amytriptline. I am not on any medication right now and haven’t been for a year. I can think clearly for the first time in almost 40 years. I can remember clearly all the things I did and said. I am ashamed. I now know the feelings and thoughts I have are not normal and I need help. I am so tired. Tired of being on this emotional roller coaster and want off. Suicide is not an option, but I am becoming deserate for intervention of some kind. My life is misserable and I am hanging on by a thread. What should I do? Have any of you been in a simlar situation? If so, what did you do to get the help you needed? I have no friends and I have no support. I am hoping to find those things here. Thanks for listening to me, and by reading your posts, making this hillbilly hermit feel not so all alone.

PS: This is merely the condensed version of my mental and health problems…my paperback will be out soon!

]]> By: sandi777 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/first-impressions/7/comment-page-1/#comment-55 sandi777 Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:46:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=7#comment-55 finally i found a room that i can vent,,,and learn,,,thank you finally i found a room that i can vent,,,and learn,,,thank you

]]> By: GypsySpanka http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/first-impressions/7/comment-page-1/#comment-50 GypsySpanka Wed, 08 Jun 2005 08:33:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=7#comment-50 Hey ! Michelle & Tyler This is Gypsy !!!<br/>I will tell you a Story soon...<br/>Thanks for yours.<br/><br/>You no what Groovers if I get to tired to come to this computer I'm %#*^ed,for it remains to be the only shred of hope I have available at the moment,help is like Divine timing I have since found out,I may be Divine but do I really have the Time ??? I no one thing for SURE,I deserve to live for I posess unbidden Healing Gifts & Power.But I dont have the Energy to Heal within let alone without.<br/>I meet a Bloke the other day who wrote this in my poetry book.<br/><br/>Deep within your deep - within there is a Self that see's no sin.<br/>No hint of pride,No hint of Shame there is your self enskinned in PAIN...<br/><br/>So let your Soul seek flight - enflame that that sacred light that seeks no shame & deep within one day you'll find that which you keep or leave Behind...<br/><br/>Like I said before I lost my Matches,<br/>Anyone got a light...<br/><br/>By: Gypsy Soul<br/>Blessed Be Hey ! Michelle & Tyler This is Gypsy !!!
I will tell you a Story soon…
Thanks for yours.

You no what Groovers if I get to tired to come to this computer I’m %#*^ed,for it remains to be the only shred of hope I have available at the moment,help is like Divine timing I have since found out,I may be Divine but do I really have the Time ??? I no one thing for SURE,I deserve to live for I posess unbidden Healing Gifts & Power.But I dont have the Energy to Heal within let alone without.
I meet a Bloke the other day who wrote this in my poetry book.

Deep within your deep – within there is a Self that see’s no sin.
No hint of pride,No hint of Shame there is your self enskinned in PAIN…

So let your Soul seek flight – enflame that that sacred light that seeks no shame & deep within one day you’ll find that which you keep or leave Behind…

Like I said before I lost my Matches,
Anyone got a light…

By: Gypsy Soul
Blessed Be

]]> By: linda http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/first-impressions/7/comment-page-1/#comment-45 linda Wed, 08 Jun 2005 03:58:00 +0000 http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsurvivorblog/?p=7#comment-45 Hi Michele again,<br/>WHY does it seem so right to commit suicide when we are in one of our episodes, it takes over my thinking. I have so much to live for... I am pretty, live in the most desirable area in Newport Beach, drive ..... well lets say a very nice car. It all doesn't mean anything, but in a way, it does, I worked my whole life to live this way..... and if it was not for my Mom (and Meds) I would be dead. Hi Michele again,
WHY does it seem so right to commit suicide when we are in one of our episodes, it takes over my thinking. I have so much to live for… I am pretty, live in the most desirable area in Newport Beach, drive ….. well lets say a very nice car. It all doesn’t mean anything, but in a way, it does, I worked my whole life to live this way….. and if it was not for my Mom (and Meds) I would be dead.

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