Bipolar Survivor

Today is a good bipolar day. Nothing exciting. Nothing new. Nothing happening at all, in fact. So what makes it such a good day? The fact that my bipolar disorder seems to be “in remission” is what makes this a good bipolar day.

Today I have no active symptoms of my bipolar disorder. And that, to me, defines remission. Just like with cancer. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have bipolar disorder any more, because of course I do, since there is still no cure for the disorder. But it means that I am managing it (instead of it managing me, like it used to).

So what am I doing that is working so well that I am able to be in this glorious remission (and for so long)? Like so many other people, I’d say that it starts with clean living. One of the things that is so very crucial when it comes to bipolar disorder is to stick to a strict sleep schedule. I go to sleep at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every morning. And I get 9 hours of sleep every night. I know that lack of sleep, especially good sleep, was responsible for many of my manic episodes in the past.

I also eat a good diet. It’s not only healthy, but it helps me to feel good about myself, and self-esteem is important when it comes to bipolar disorder. I also exercise, which helps for the same reasons.

I try to stay productive. I can no longer work full-time, and I accept my limitations in that regard. I know that a full-time job brings with it too much stress, and stress is one of my greatest triggers to a bipolar episode, so I need to avoid it. Also, being around too many people. But I am able to work part-time from home, which helps financially and also gives me something to do that helps me stay productive, while not being too stressful. It also helps me stay stable with my bipolar (it also helps that I work for a bipolar website).

I have a great support system. Both my mom and my husband have the disorder, so they are great supporters. They definitely know what to watch for, especially in me, to keep me out of a bipolar episode. So many times they have been able to tell me that my behavior is a little “off,” and I’ve been able to talk to my psychiatrist and just get my meds upped temporarily and avoid the hospital and a full-blown episode.

One of the biggest things, I think, that keeps me stable is my attitude. I accept that I have bipolar disorder, but I don’t let it get me down. And I don’t let it stop me. There was a point where I felt helpless, and this led to me even being over-medicated, but then I got empowered, changed psychiatrists, got off half my meds, and got better. I am much stabler now.

Every day that I don’t have an episode, I am grateful to God. Just to have peace in my life, I am grateful, for I remember when every day was a crisis, when my bipolar was out of control. Peace and stability are both important to me now, and I cherish both. I pray that you have them as well.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,

Michele

I’d like to live life like my dog. I’m sure she has bipolar disorder. She is moody. But mostly she’s just this bundle of joy. She just attacks life. Like her biggest worry is whether I’m going to feed her in the morning. Like why should she worry about it? She gets fed at the same time every morning, why should she stress about it?

But I notice that I stress about little things like that, too, and I should be ashamed of myself, because in the big scheme of things, they are just as trivial, if someone else were to look at my life objectively. So why should I stress over them?

I seriously should live life like my dog. Eat. Play. Go outside. Take a nap. Repeat above. Tough life, isn’t it? LOL Oh, and I forgot. Get lots of loving. She sure does get a lot of that from me and my husband. And a lot of attention. Of course, she does demand it, whether you want to give it or not! But then again, she’s so adorable, you just have to give it to her!

She really helps me to keep my bipolar disorder in check. Whenever I’m feeling down, she does some little antic that cheers me up. Like yesterday, I wasn’t exactly down, per se, just bored I guess. Nothing to do, nothing on TV, didn’t feel like reading. Like I said, bored. So I look over at Sunshine, and she’s all caught up in the covers on the floor, no face to be seen! She was hilarious, trying to get out from under those covers, as if her life depended on it! Now that’s priorities for you. And I thought I had problems…LOL

Well, she eventually found her way out, and just looked at me like, “Mom, why are you laughing at me?” It certainly did cheer me up, at least. She’s always good for that. And I eventually did find something to watch on TV, so I wasn’t so bored.

If you don’t have a pet, I encourage you to give it some thought. They can really keep you from getting depressed, or get you out of a bad mood when you get into one with their antics. They can also remind you where your priorities lie.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,

Michele

Life never gives you a day off, so neither does your bipolar disorder. But there was a point when my doctor actually ordered me to take a day off at least once a week – a day where I did absolutely nothing. But, believe me, that was hard for me to do.

See, at the time I was working 7 days a week, and I never seemed to “shut down.” But that was causing me real problems (thus the visit to the doctor).

I was having problems with my thoughts not shutting off at night, which was affecting my sleep. This scared me, because with enough lost sleep, and I knew I would be facing yet another bipolar manic episode if I wasn’t careful.

So off I went to the psychiatrist, telling him of my problem with my thoughts not shutting off. His opinion? Stress related, of course. The problem was, he determined, that they were primarily related to work, and that I was working too much.

His “prescription?” Like I was saying… He “prescribed” a day off every week. I naturally chose Sunday, the easiest day for me to take off each week, as there was really nothing going on at work anyway, but catch up.

So every Sunday I was to do nothing but laze around “relaxing.” Watch TV or a movie… read a book… whatever. Just not do anything stressful. Definitely not anything that would tax my mind or my body. Nothing that would cause my mind to not be able to shut down that night.

It took a little while, but after awhile I got into the pattern. And it worked! Sunday actually became a “day of rest” for me. And my mind actually shut down the other days of the week at night as well! I was cured!

I still practice this “day off” to this day. I do believe that with bipolar disorder it is important to be productive. But I feel that it’s just as important to “shut down” your body and mind at times as well. I think it’s part of taking care of yourself, physically, mentally, and emotionally. And it just follows suit that it takes care of you spiritually as well, as you will be at peace with yourself and with the world.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,

Michele

Ok, it’s a brand new year, a blank slate – so what am I going to do with it? What changes am I going to make for the coming year? These are the questions I ask myself every New Year’s, as I consider (yet again) whether I’m going to make any resolutions this year or not. I have to ask myself this each year, as I am inevitably discouraged when I end up breaking them, and wonder, “Why make them at all?” But then I think, “Well, at least it’s worth trying.”

So I always look back at the previous year at this time of year, at both the good and the bad, and hopefully I see more good than bad. And this year is no different. This year was the “big accident,” where my husband almost lost his leg, and totalled the car. We also made the “big move” from TN to FL this past year, and that was almost as traumatic as the accident (of course, it didn’t help that they were only days apart). But we survived both, thank God. And my husband has recovered, and we’re happy in our new home.

The main thing, in looking back, of course, is that I survived another year without a bipolar episode. That is an absolute, hands-down, thank you Jesus! Any year I go without a bipolar episode is a great year! Because I remember when there were more days with episodes than without, and how horrible a life that was, so I am very, very grateful for my stable life now. So what if sometimes it’s a little boring? At least it’s without the stress I used to have that caused most of my episodes, and that’s a major plus.

Once I figured out that stress was a major trigger to my bipolar episodes, and got rid of the stress in my life, my bipolar disorder made major improvements, and I got so much better, so much more quickly. It was amazing! Stress can really be so harmful when you’ve got bipolar disorder. If you haven’t already made strides to become stress-free in your life, I strongly urge you to do so in this coming year. Make it more than a resolution – make it a reality! You’ll see such an improvement in your bipolar disorder.

I also had a birthday on New Year’s Eve. Yep, I’m 54 years old. Ancient. Sometimes I feel really old… but usually I feel younger than my age. After everything I’ve been through (and survived), I feel like I should be older than I am, so I guess I’m just “young at heart!” And grateful for having survived everything that I went through in my past bipolar episodes. Thank God I don’t go through that any more. It’s so fantastic to live a stable life now. So great that my days are pretty predictable, with no chaos or drama any more (nothing that prematurely ages you!).

Here’s hoping for another year like this past (except for no major car accidents), with no bipolar episodes, and no traumas.

Wishing you peace and stability in the coming new year,

Remember God loves you and so do I,

Michele