This is not going to be a very popular topic, I’ll tell you that up front. No one wants to think about, much less talk about, pain. Unfortunately, with bipolar disorder does come the inevitable pain.
Don’t get me wrong, even people without bipolar disorder experience pain in their lives – it’s not just us. But any way you look at it, it’s unpleasant.
Think about it this way, though — of your memories, which are the ones that stand out the most? Probably those that involved pain, right? It’s a real attention-getter!
We are all going to experience pain in this life, there’s no getting around that. Jesus said, “In this world you WILL have tribulation; but take heart, I have overcome the world.” Not MIGHT have tribulation (trials, pain), but WILL.
It’s not that it happens to you, it’s what you do with it that counts. You can just sit and feel sorry for yourself and wonder about why God is picking on you, or you can use the painful situation to grow.
I cannot imagine any other experience more painful than losing my sister to suicide (except maybe the death of a child). That was some major pain. And I grieved for a long time. But eventually, I grew from the experience. I learned how to make her death count for something. Now, personally, I am still without my sister, and to this day that is still painful when I think about her and miss her. But I USED that pain to make things better. Thousands of people have been touched by my sister’s story.
In A.A., they say that “pain is the touchstone to spiritual growth.” I believe that. Although (or maybe because of) our most painful experiences are the ones that teach us the most, it doesn’t make it any easier to get through it when it’s going on.
Like right now, my doctor just switched my medication, and it’s making me agitated and irritable. Do I like that? No. Is there anything I can do to change it (except call my doctor)? No. Will it get better in spite of me? Yes.
That’s the hope we have. That no matter how painful what we’re going through is, there WILL be an end to it. Just remember, during those times, that “This too shall pass.” Just that one phrase has gotten me through many painful trials.
Also remember, you are NOT alone. God said, “I will NEVER leave you nor forsake you.” God is with you in the midst of your suffering. And He doesn’t want you to suffer, any more than you do. But you have to stand on His promises to get stronger. Remember, “His strength is made perfect in my weakness.” And that, “Whenever I am weak, He is strong.”
No matter how much pain you’re in right now, remember what the Bible says: “No temptation hath befallen you except that which is common to man. But God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted [tested] beyond your means and with the temptation will provide a way of escape that you may be able to bear up under it.” God does not expect you to be perfect, to do this alone, or to suffer and fail. He is there for you in the MIDST of your suffering!
When my sister died, I wanted to die with her. I found out what the word “suffer” is all about. I was beyond miserable, I was inconsolable. It didn’t matter to me that my family was also suffering. I only cared that *I* was suffering. And that pain was not getting better with each new day – in fact, it was getting worse, because I was missing her more and more. Yes, I suffered with losing the twin of my heart.
But people were compassionate toward me. People understood what I was going through, and they ministered to me. And I felt comforted. You are not alone in your suffering – there are others who understand how you feel.
Once I started writing about it (before I was able to talk about it), things started getting better for me. I no longer wanted to die with my sister. I saw a purpose for my life. I realized that pain will change you. And if you let it, it will change you for the better, because it will make you stronger for having had to experience it. Then you can turn around and help the next person who is going through what you went through.
Wishing you peace and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
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