Well, I’m still in Florida visiting with my parents, and it just occurred to me that I’m glad to have bipolar disorder. Before you start thinking I’m in an episode or, God forbid, all out crazy, let me explain myself.
There are blessings in the disorder, if you accept them. Right now I’m with my mom, who also has bipolar disorder. Both of us having the disorder brings a special bond with it. Like the saying, “Only an alcoholic can understand another alcoholic,” it seems like “only someone with bipolar disorder can understand someone else with the disorder.” That’s how it is with my mom and me.
We are able to discuss bipolar-related events, feelings, thoughts, experiences, etc. We are safe from the possible stigma of an “outsider.” But the biggest blessing is that we know we’re not alone in this fight for sanity. We have each other for support.
In addition, my husband also has bipolar disorder, as I have shared before, and that is a blessing as well. He understands me as his wife, his best friend, another recovering alcoholic and addict, and also as another fellow sufferer of bipolar disorder. So with him, too, I know I’m not alone.
This being alone thing is a real issue for people who have bipolar disorder. If you don’t have a strong support system — wait, I’ll go back even further than that, because before you even form your support system, you have to accept that you have the disorder, and that you can’t recover by yourself — you won’t be able to reach stability. And if you don’t open up about what you go through to someone else, you won’t know that you’re not alone.
I truly believe in a strong support system, because like the first step in AA, NA, or any other 12-Step program, “I admit that I’m powerless over bipolar disorder and that my life has become unmanageable.” It’s easy to work the 12 steps on my bipolar because, for instance, Step 2 acknowledges that “Only a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.” Of course, first you have to admit that you’re insane, which anyone who has been through a major manic or depressed episode (especially if you have psychotic symptoms with it, like I do) can readily do.
But the 3rd step, turning my life over to the care of God (as I understand him), takes away my powerlessness. Bipolar disorder, I’m glad to say, no longer has power over me. I have learned, over the years (and sometimes the hard way), that the disorder CAN be managed (controlled).
It’s like being in remission from cancer. And I know some people reading this might be offended that I would compare bipolar disorder to cancer, but hear me out. I acknowledge that cancer is a life-threatening, absolutely horrible, disease to have. And I am not discounting that by any means. But those of us with bipolar disorder (and our supporters) know that our disorder can be just as life-threatening.
But the point is, like a cancer victim going into remission, we can also go “into remission” with our bipolar disorder. If you consider remission to be “the absence of symptoms.” And whether you’ve ever looked at it that way or not, success with bipolar disorder is when you reach stability (remission) – the absence of bipolar symptoms.
Anyway, I said all that to say this: I’m glad I have bipolar disorder and not some other non-treatable disease. Maybe we have no cure for our disease yet – but we can get control over it.
Wishing you peace and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
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