I had someone ask me if people with bipolar disorder feel guilty. At first, I thought, “Of course! ” meaning that we’re just like people who don’t have bipolar disorder, experiencing all the same feelings in the same way.
But then I thought about it. No, we don’t necessarily experience feelings the same way that people without the disorder experience them. Many times our feelings are exaggerated in their intensity.
For example, depression for us goes beyond simple sadness. It can affect our thoughts (emotionally), our minds (mentally), and even our bodies (physically).
In a bipolar depression, some people increase their sleep, not even wanting to get out of bed. It’s a “not worth it” thing or, at worst, an “I wish I could die thing.” This is much different than simple sadness or a simple one-day depression that someone without bipolar disorder would have.
Our “high” moods are exaggerated as well. Someone without BP might be excited right now about the holidays, for instance. But it’s a normal excitement, and their behavior does not get out of control. Whereas, for us, we can get TOO excited, and it will trip us into a bipolar manic episode (which is particularly bad around Christmas because of the spending/over-spending of money on presents).
So, to the question: Do people with bipolar disorder feel guilty?
I believe that in our “normal” state, yes, we do feel guilty if we’ve done something wrong, such as inadvertently hurting our supporter or someone else.
However, in a bipolar episode, all bets are off. Because of the difference in processing thoughts and feelings, it is very possible to do something and not feel guilty about it.
For example, impulsivity kicks in when we have a bipolar manic episode. We may spend money on a charge card, yet not think about the bill that will come later. So there is no guilt, but it’s because of the episode, and the bipolar disorder itself manifesting this lack of guilt. Later on, when the credit card statement comes in, once we’re past the episode, we can feel guilty about the money we’ve spent (especially if we couldn’t afford what we bought).
When in an episode, we become very self-centered, and may not feel guilt over our behavior. Sometimes, in a manic episode, we might get agitated and irritable instead of what I call “happy-happy-joy-joy.” In that case, we may fight with our supporters and have no guilt if we hurt their feelings. Of course, this is not normal behavior for us, but in an episode we are capable of many undesirable things.
Later, however, after the episode is over, if someone tells us that we hurt them while we were in the episode, we might feel guilty for hurting them, whether we remember the incident or not.
The point is that yes, we can feel guilt. We can feel the whole gamut of emotions, just like someone who doesn’t have bipolar disorder. However, in a bipolar episode, all bets are off. We may not even be aware of our behavior toward others (or ourselves), and therefore may not react “normally.”
Bipolar disorder, at its worst, can damage our emotional well-being. During an episode, our thoughts and feelings may be out of balance, throwing us and our supporters “off.” Some of our thinking may not even be rational, if the episode is bad enough.
So the key is to stay balanced and to keep our bipolar disorder (and ourselves) under control. We can learn (sometimes with the help of our therapist) to manage our emotions correctly. When “normal” (not in an episode), we are concerned about our feelings and how our actions affect others.
During “normal” periods, we are just like someone who does not have the disorder. The key is to do whatever it takes not to go into an episode and take a chance on hurting someone because of the way we act. And that means doing the things that help to keep us stable. We might even go YEARS without an episode if we are stable.
I appreciate the topic question. If you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to ask, and I’ll try to answer them honestly.
Have you had an experience where you didn’t feel any guilt? What happened?
Have you had your supporter tell you about behavior you’ve exhibited in a bipolar episode that you don’t even recall happening?
Wishing you peace and stabililty,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
This was a very well written blog, I was able to share it with my husband. I want to wish you and your family a very Happy Thanksgiving. I’ve been in a depressive state for four months, but my heart will be still, even for a moment, and give thanks for my supportive family. Thank you for this blog, I have read different articles many times. It’s always been helpful.
“normal” so the opposing is abbynormal? lol. episodic, paranoid, viciously nostolgic. yet missing certain basic requirements since birth, such as compassion for others, a normal sense of humor, and other basic human behavior that other people consider normal. People always asking me why dont i smile or other stuff. so adaptation and faking it is the key. I’m not violent just analytical. why does everyone assume a person missing these basics suffered something as a child. I,m functional. And the fact is most psych professionals are real educated but not very intelligent. I recieved my guilt as a learned behavior from the acceptance of god, contrary to scientific rational demands. And the fact is it as removible as any other emotion. It doesn’t build up and eat at you, thats just what the psychs want you to believe so you go pay them money to talk to them.