Ok, so I didn’t sleep last night. Am I in a manic episode? No way. But I still didn’t get any sleep, so of course I had to do my bipolar mania checklist just as a precaution.
Checkbook? Secure. Credit cards? Didn’t apply for any. Online shopping? Didn’t do any (don’t laugh – I used to, when I was in manic episodes). Shopping sprees? No on that count as well. Any cash withdrawals? None. Ok, finances all in order.
Any impulsive decisions? Nope. Any erratic behavior? Nope on that count as well. Any fights with my husband (or anyone else)? No. Any self-destructive behavior? No. Any hallucinations? No, and no delusions, either. Any risk-taking behaviors? No on that count as well. Hmm… looking good so far.
Any suicidal ideologies? Absolutely not. No homicidal ones, either (not that there have ever been any). No violent tendencies at all.
No anger. Just a little agitation, irritation, and frustration (which you’d probably have if you couldn’t sleep, either).
Ok, so my manic checklist checks out ok. And I was rational enough to do it! That’s always a plus, too! 
So I’m not in a manic episode. I just couldn’t sleep. That happens sometimes. And guess what? It happens to people who don’t have bipolar disorder, too, not just to us!
So it doesn’t mean that we have to overreact to it and assume that we’re in a bipoalr manic episode just because we lost a night of sleep. It’s normal. It happens sometimes.
I’ll catch up on my sleep tomorrow. No problem.
Now if I didn’t sleep again tomorrow night… or if I started exhibiting some of the behaviors on my checklist… then I might start getting a little concerned. That is why my checklist is in place, after all.
But for now I’m not going to worry about it. My husband knows about it, and tomorrow my psychiatrist will know about it (and believe me, he will get an earful about that new sleep med he put me on, you’d better believe that! The one that DIDN’T put me to sleep!!!)
Things like insomnia do happen to people with bipolar from time to time, just like plain ole depresssion. And we do have to be aware of them, even tell our supporters and/or psychiatrists about them.
But we do NOT have to panic or overreact about them, assuming it means we’re in a bipolar episode. That’s why checklists are good. They help us stay balanced.
Wishing you peace and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
