Have you been struggling with strange, even negative, thoughts and feelings that may even frighten you to the point that you wonder if maybe there is something wrong with you?  Well, let me assure you that other bipolar supporters have thought and felt these same things, and you are  normal.

It can be downright frightening to experience some of the thoughts and feelings that a bipolar supporter goes through, but it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you.

One woman was so exasperated by her husband's bipolar manic behavior that, after he had driven them into bankruptcy, had an affair with another woman, and gotten himself addicted to alcohol and drugs, she exclaimed, "I'm so sick of all of this, I wish he were dead!"

This woman then felt so much guilt, shame, and remorse that she began seeing a therapist, because she was afraid that she had "caught" her husband's bipolar disorder.  The therapist assured her that her feelings were normal for a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder.

The point is not the thoughts and feelings themselves, but what you do with them.  It is ok that this woman thought, "I wish he were dead!"  It would not be ok for her to kill him, however.  The point is, though, that she had absolutely no thoughts of harming her husband – she was just overwhelmed by his bipolar behavior (and the consequences of it).

Some additional negative things that bipolar supporters feel are:

·         anger/rage

·         hurt

·         fear

·         overwhelmed

·         resentment

·         antagonism

·         irritation/agitation

·         hatred

·         depression

·         hopelessness

·         helplessness

·         stress/anxiety

·         loneliness

·         isolation

·         etc.

These, and others, are all normal feelings.  Yes, even hatred.  The important thing is what you do with the feelings.  If you just "stuff" them and don't share them, they can come out in negative ways, such as explosive rage over the least little thing.

The best thing to do is to share your thoughts and feelings.  If you cannot share them with your loved one, at least share them with a trusted friend or family member, clergy person, or therapist.  If not, at least write them down in a journal or diary, but do not let them build up inside you.