God is my world.  God is my remedy.  God is who I chase and hunt after when it gets too much or when everything is right.  I just have mad love for Him.  We have walked through the tombs and run after rainbows together.  I have cried in His arms for a decade now with the illness.  I have laid on my bed gripping the sheets until my knuckles were white and numb.  I have screamed at the top of my lungs out the back door, in a forest, and in healing prayer times with others.  I have beaten the floor and thrown things in prayer.  I have cried until I could not move or see. The longings almost manifesting like an animal as the hunger to be well was so base.  I cried over my Bible wetting the pages with an undying search for His living words to free me.  The tearful releases were so powerful and God had me under His wing, in His hand, and around His shoulders carrying me.  His love is uncommon.  It is inhuman.   But it is for the common and the human.

 

I have been so broken and dismal from the illness.  I never thought my mind would say anything except to kill myself or that I was a worthless thing. But I felt His presence.  In the midst of it all, I would thank Him… for I knew He had a divine plan.  Through that praise I felt His Presence like warm honey assuaging all of the gang green from my mind once blackened. Then I felt His anointing and that is what I needed.  His anointing for me during those times was a supernatural touch to ease my suffering.  For it is “His anointing that breaks the yoke.” (Isaiah 10:27) The yoke is the illness, the slavery of mental illness and specifically bipolar.  The yoke of oppression and depression can be broken by God’s presence and anointing.  So I would get relief in His presence.  It was enough to carry me until the next time.  Now it is ten years later and I take my meds every day, I work full time, got a masters degree in business, and just finished writing a book that was published this Christmas.  If God can do it for me then He can do it for you! He longs to…..

 

***Remember, Jesus adores you and always take your meds…

 

C.C Brighton

www.bipolarliveitup.com