Over the years I have learned to accept myself just the way I am.  It was harder some years than others but the truth is there is beauty in me.  No matter what goes down in a day or what it looks like on the outside, I am God’s child and I have value in that.  I will value myself and embrace myself and not tear myself down based on the effects of an illness or anything else for that matter. 

In earlier times, my mind was bombed every moment with self deprecating thoughts.  In other words, I heard awful comments about myself every second of the day in my mind.  I had horrifying thoughts of self judgment and self condemnation. When my meds were wrong, I would speak out these thoughts and make them more concrete than they were in my head already. This is far more damaging than many people realize.   I had to learn how to counter these thoughts with positive thoughts and think on words of acceptance, self love, and care.

I learned and I am still learning the importance of not judging myself.  Rather than being so harsh or self critical, I now know it is good to laugh at myself and be gentle.  I used to crucify myself over my foibles. But they were so refreshing to others as I was so often told and also considered charming I would later hear. So I had to embrace that part of me, it was only right. Before I would have gone into self bitterness over it but I learned to love me as I am.  There is simply no time for judging myself anymore.  It weighed me down far too long and it is my time to fly now so I have kissed self judgment goodbye.

 

 

C.C. Brighton

www.bipolarliveitup.com