*Throughout the article, reference is made to 'he' or 'she' when talking about a person who is bipolar. It can be either, and using one term or the other is merely for the sake of convenience. These suggestions are meant for anyone, male or female, who is suffering from bipolar and his (or her) family and friends.

What if your bipolar spouse threatens to divorce you and you begin to suspect that it may not be such a bad idea after all? When do you make the distinction between giving up because you're giving in and realizing that you have to do what's best for you?

There are a few things that are deal-breakers no matter how much you love someone who is bipolar. If your bipolar spouse demands a divorce, it may not be worth fighting to save the marriage under these conditions:

• Your spouse has gone off her medications and refuses to go back on them or get help. This sounds brutal, but the sad fact is that if someone suffering from bipolar won't help herself, you cannot rescue her. Remaining in a poisoned relationship will only destroy two lives instead of one.
• Your spouse has participated in extramarital activities and refuses to get tested for STDs.
• Your spouse has committed a crime and asks you to attempt to cover it up rather than face the consequences of her actions.
• When the violence and aggression during episodes have become so out of control that you fear for the safety of your children. In this case, divorce may be needed so that you can ask for custody of your children in order to ensure their safety.
• When your spouse refuses to hand over control of finances or other issues and is in the process of bankrupting the family and refuses to see the consequences of her actions and you do not see any chance of things changing in the future.

All of these instances are a matter of choice - you must decide which are the straws that will break the camel's back for you, but no one will blame you in any of these cases. In fact, in most of these cases, the bipolar sufferer may be so far gone that the only thing that will make them face the reality of their situation is a drastic change in circumstances, such as losing their marriage and family.

In the end, it is up to you to make that decision based on your love for them and your understanding of what is best for both of you.