We hear a lot these days about what the 'politically correct' thing is to say to people about various subjects. Well, when it comes to bipolar disorder, there really isn't anything that is 'PC.' However, here are some suggestions about what to say to someone when they tell you that they, a friend, loved one, child, co-worker, or someone else they know has bipolar disorder:

• • The first thing you should determine is whether that person is newly diagnosed or if they have had bipolar disorder for a fairly long time.There is a big difference between having bipolar disorder for a long time and just being diagnosed. Someone who has been stable for a long time shouldn't need any intervention, and is probably leading a fairly normal life. On the other hand, if you are dealing with someone who has just been diagnosed, they probably have a million questions, and are probably feeling confused, anxious, angry, and any number of feelings. For this person, you need to be a calm, comforting, understanding, and unconditionally loving friend and/or loved one. Reassure them of your love and support, and be a good listener.
• • Dealing with a person who is newly diagnosed with bipolar disorder.If someone tells you they have just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, you need to ask them if they have found out anything about the disorder yet. Sometimes they have gotten a pamphlet about the disorder from their doctor, but sometimes that is all they know. In this case, they may be feeling confused and frustrated, and may need you to direct them. They need information. You may not know much more than they do, however. But you can tell them that information is the key, and you can direct them to: www.bipolarcentral.com.
• • Tell them about www.bipolarcentral.com.You don't have to have bipolar disorder yourself to direct them to the website. I have worked with Dave and the website for three years now, and when someone tells me they have bipolar disorder but don't know where to turn, it's the first place I send them. I'm actually excited about it, to tell you the truth. BipolarCentral is the largest bipolar website in the country, and has all the information a newly diagnosed person with bipolar disorder needs when they are getting started! I really wish I had this information when I was first diagnosed. I was so afraid, and I'm sure your friend/loved one is, too. But learning the most they can about bipolar disorder will help them not be as afraid. Tell them about Dave – he is the founder of the website. He started it because his mother had bipolar disorder. He has an incredible story, and they can read all about it on the website. He has ten people that work for him, and all of them have either bipolar disorder or another mental illness. He believes that people with bipolar disorder are extremely smart and really capable! He says they do an incredible job for him! He is really positive about people with bipolar disorder. So tell your friend or loved one to read about Dave and visit his blog. They will see that having bipolar disorder is NOT a bad thing – it's just your attitude about it that makes the difference.
• • Tell them that they are NOT alone.One of the best things you can tell them is that they are NOT alone! Just knowing that will help more than you know. Tell them that there are 13 million people in this country that have bipolar disorder, and the number grows every day! Tell them that there are support groups everywhere that they can attend – go to the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) on the Internet, and they will tell you where there is a support group near you.
• • Tell them that there is help.They may have been told that there is no cure for bipolar disorder, and that is true – but there is treatment for bipolar disorder, and with treatment, they can learn to live a healthy, happy, productive, successful life. Having bipolar disorder is NOT the end of the world, it's just the beginning of a different lifestyle than the one they were living – they will have to change some things, of course, but tell them it will get better.
• • Ask how you can help them.Ask them how you can help. Don't ask 'Is there anything I can do for you?' Because that's just a yes/no question. Asking, 'What can I do to help you?' is much more specific, and they will have to think of ways that they can use your help. Just asking for your help may be difficult for them, so just supporting them at this time may be the best help you can give.
• • They will have to change some things.They will have to see a doctor, psychiatrist and therapist. They will have to take medication for the rest of their life. They will have to eat a good diet, exercise, and have a regular sleep pattern. They will have to eliminate as much stress from their life as possible. They may have to quit their job and possible go on Disability. They will definitely have to change some things, but tell them it will all be for the better.
• • If they have just come out of the hospital…If they have been hospitalized and are just returning home, they may feel a bit shaky. They may have to attend an outpatient therapy group for awhile. They may feel as if their whole life has turned upside down. They may need to hang onto your shoulders for a little while for support. They will be learning new ways to live with bipolar disorder, and they may need your help. Tell them you are willing to be there for them.
• • Facing the future…They will be facing an uncertain future, and they may feel confused, anxious, and fearful. Everything has changed for them, and they may feel as if it happened overnight, and they don't know what to do. They need to think about the future, but they're just trying to make it through today. You can certainly understand that, can't you? So you can calm them, reassure them, and tell them very simply, 'One day at a time.'