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You Are Not Your Disorder

By Michele Soloway

When dealing with mental illness, there is a difference between saying that you are your disorder than saying that you have your disorder. Take bipolar disorder, for example. When you say, "I am bipolar," you are, in effect, giving yourself over to the disorder—identifying yourself with it—letting it define you—as if there were no more to you than the fact that you have bipolar disorder. However, if you say, "I have bipolar disorder" instead, you are taking back your control. You, then, have power over your disorder, rather than the other way around.

I’m not saying that something magical happens when you start using the word "have" instead of "am," but it does make a difference when dealing with society in general and in the way you feel about yourself. For example, if you were to tell someone, "I am schizophrenic," they may respond with fear or ignorance, still believing the old ideas about schizophrenia and expecting you to turn into another personality at any time. However, if you say, "I have schizophrenia," just as if you were saying, "I have diabetes," or any other physical illness, they may be more apt to ask you questions about it rather than to misjudge you out of fear or ignorance.

For most, if not all, of those suffering from mental illness, there is no cure—but there can be stability, and there can be self-empowerment, when you control the disorder instead of it controlling you, simply by using the word "have" instead of "am;" in remembering that you are not your disorder.

About the Author

Michele Soloway has dealt with bipolar disorder from a very young age. Her grandmother, mother, herself, and her teenage son all have the disorder. She also lost her sister to suicide because of bipolar disorder. Michele has a blog for bipolar survivors at http://bipolarsurvivor.blogspot.com, and is also a contributing writer to www.bipolarcentral.com.

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Featured Article:

Being the Ultimate Perfectionist

                                                           By Michele Soloway Sexton

I am the ultimate perfectionist.  Yes, me.  I even got a fortune cookie one time that said, "You have a yearning for perfection," do you believe that?"  Even Confucius knows it!

But it's a real battle for me.  I expect things from myself that I would never expect from anyone else, and it really messes with my bipolar disorder, because, well, no one's perfect, and no one can live with that kind of stress.

So I was talking to someone about it lately, and they told me, "It's ok to strive for perfection, as long as you don't expect to arrive at perfection."

It's ok to make mistakes.  That's what I've been learning.  If you don't learn that, you'll be bound up in fear (another thing that's bad for our bipolar disorder). 

Click here to read the entire article

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