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The Worst Word In The Bipolar Vocabulary

By David Oliver

I have noticed a distinct difference between the people who do well with bipolar -- whether they are supporting someone or they have it themselves -- and the people who don't do well.

The people who do well do NOT use the word "can't" and the people who don't do well managing and coping with the disorder use the word can't ALL the time.

If you talk to someone who seems to have trouble coping with his or her bipolar disorder, you will inevitably hear dozens of statements that have a recurring theme:

I can't afford a doctor
I can't get a job
I can't stand my loved one
I can't take it any more
I can't be normal
My wife can't be normal
The medicine can't work
We can't find medicine that works
We can't find a good doctor
I can't find a therapist
I can't afford a therapist
I can't pay down my debt
I can't get a better job
I can't make more money
I can't accomplish my goals because I am bipolar
I can't be a success because my husband is bipolar

....on and on and on.

NOTE: These are all statements said to me in the last 4 months.

It's really sad. Again, I have found that people who are both supporters and survivors that do well find ways that they CAN accomplish certain things that they want to do.

For example, when I was faced with finding my mom a doctor, I heard a lot of, "can'ts."

I heard, "You can't find doctors around here...there aren't enough doctors familiar with Bipolar.You can't get a doctor to call you.You can't get a good doctor unless you pay a ton of money.You can't find good doctors that are covered by insurance.You can't sort though hundreds of doctors without calling through the phone book."

I ignored all these comments and ultimately created my own "doctor finding system" which works for ANYONE. If you don't have any money it works for you,
if you have money it works for you, if you don't have insurance it will
work and it works no matter what. BUT, you have to do some work yourself.

My advice for today: Instead of saying "can't," try to focus
on how you can accomplish something. It sounds simple, but it's powerful.

I'm sure some people will write me and say that I just don't understand,
or who am I to say such things, but believe me, I have spoken to and met with
a ton of people who are dealing with bipolar. I have a degree in
Sociology/Economics, and I know how to keep track of information and
look for patterns. I can tell you for sure people who do well don't use
the word "can't" all the time.

Start focusing on how you can accomplish the things you need to get done. It
might require some creative thinking, but you can do it.

As an example, some people will comment that someone suffering from bipolar usually can't work long hours in a high pressure job. I would counter by asking why someone want to work 60-80 hours a week? If it's to pay off debts that have piled up while in a manic episode, there are better ways than trying to hold work unreasonable hours in a high pressure job. There are over 50 ways a person who is bipolar can make $50,000 a year working part time in their own home business, and get tax benefits so they can pay off their debt faster and not have to work long, boring days for someone else. So again, my rule that you shouldn't say "can't" applies here.

So before you decide there are things that you "can't" do because you or your loved one is bipolar, firmly grab hold of the thought that you can do almost anything and put your mind to work on some creative solutions.

About The Author

David Oliver is the founder of FreeBipolarSupport.com a one stop source of information on how to cope and deal with bipolar disorder. Sign up for one of his FREE Mini Courses on Bipolar by visiting FreeBipolarCourse.com.

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