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Telling Your Child They Have Bipolar Disorder

Until recently, bipolar disorder was a diagnosis reserved strictly for adults, or at least adolescents. However, according to recent news articles and professional research, the age at which bipolar disorder is now being diagnosed is much younger, even as young as toddlers.

If you were dealing with an adult or even an adolescent, it would be easy for you to tell them about bipolar disorder. Simply explain bipolar disorder in simple terminology, or provide a book, educational pamphlet, or suggest an internet website (such as bipolarcentral.com). However, if your child has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, you may be finding it much harder to tell them. How do you express so complicated an idea to a child in such a way that they can comprehend?

The concept of extreme mood swings that is commonly associated with bipolar disorder is difficult for adults to understand, much less children. So, how can you illustrate depression or mania to a child? Or how can you illustrate the difficult, more technical aspects (such as nerve synapses) to them? Here are some ideas:

• Using an old record player
  If you're not a leftover 70's-ish person like me, you might try finding an old record player cheaply at a yard sale or thrift shop. By playing a record at different speeds, you can illustrate the mood swings. For instance, if you play a single at 45, you get the correct sound. This shows stability. If you crank it to 78, the sound speeds up and jumbles, which is mania.. If you push it down to 33, the sound becomes much slower and lower in tone, which is depression. This can also be used to demonstrate how medication will bring the child back to normal (45 speed). You can even let the child experience this hands-on, by letting him/her move the buttons and control the speeds, repeating which part of bipolar disorder is being illustrated.
• Using a boiling pot of water
  Have your child help you put some cold water in a pot. Explain that this is like their brain when it is ok. But then explain that sometimes their brain gets overheated, and when it does, it will get real hot and bubble over (like the pot of water, when it boils). This could be used to explain the angry feelings, temper, and even violence that accompanies some manic episodes. It can also be used to illustrate how medicine helps fix the overheated brain, as they watch the boiling water cool down again.
• Making up a story with them as the main character
  You can be as creative as your imagination allows you to be by using your child as the main character in a story you make up, weaving in the facts about bipolar disorder and using words and concepts that they can understand. You can even involve your child, letting them offer suggestions for plots, etc., or asking questions as you go along to test them, such as, "What do you think will happen next?"
• Using your own child's toys
  The concept of two nerve synapses in the brain that are short circuited by an inability to "communicate" dopamine between them is a very technical one. However, you can use a young boy's toy soldiers to demonstrate this using the illustration of two warring islands trying to get across to the other side, for instance. Get creative with this! There are all kinds of possibilities. And your child can even participate. Using your own child's toys to illustrate difficult concepts of bipolar disorder is a very effective way to help them understand these ideas easier, using something familiar to them, especially if they get to participate.
• Using dark glasses and kaleidoscopes
  Using a pair of dark glasses (such as those worn in the movie "Blues Brothers", especially if your child has seen it), can help you illustrate the concept of depression to your child. Have them put on the dark glasses, and explain the darkness as that feeling they feel when they are in the depressed cycle. Then, having them look thru a kaleidoscope, turning the end and experiencing all the changing colors, explain that this is like mania. If you have an older child, DBSA has put out a video called "Dark Glasses and Kaleidoscopes," available on their website, that demonstrates this idea very effectively.
• Using the "broken brain" concept
  Using the idea of a "broken brain" is very effective in a number of ways. Among other things, it will help your child to understand and fight the stigma associated with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. It is also the easiest way for them to understand bipolar disorder, since most children can easily understand the idea of being sick. You can have your child draw and color pictures of a "normal" (or "regular") brain, then his/her idea of what a broken brain would look like, and then a brain with medicine that makes it better. This can also be used to help them understand how medication will help their bipolar disorder and make them better. You can even let them put a real Band-Aid on their picture of a broken brain to make it better. The idea of a broken brain can also be used to explain how talking to a therapist will help the brain get better. This idea is limitless, and is the most often used method to explain bipolar disorder to a child.

Whichever idea you use, or however you choose to explain bipolar disorder to your child, the most important thing you must do is make a distinction between your child and the disorder itself. Never refer to your child AS bipolar, but as HAVING bipolar disorder. It will be much better for them to think of themselves as normal children with a sick brain than to think of themselves as abnormal children who have something wrong with them. It is crucial to separate your child from the disorder, especially later in their adolescent years when they will be struggling with their own identity and dealing with issues such as peer pressure and stigma.

About the Author

Michele Soloway has dealt with bipolar disorder from a very young age. Her grandmother, mother, herself, and her teenage son all have the disorder. She also lost her sister to suicide because of bipolar disorder. Michele has a blog for bipolar survivors at http://bipolarsurvivor.blogspot.com, and is also a contributing writer to www.bipolarcentral.com.

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