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Reducing Stress Triggers

One of the hardest mysteries to overcome with my bipolar son was to find his stress triggers. The reason this was so important was to recognize who, what, why, when, and where his stress started so we could remove him from the situation to a calmer environment. He needed to learn coping skills with the triggers, but we needed to know what they were first.

I spent many therapy sessions with my son in which he was asked, "Why did you throw your books on the floor when the teacher asked you to quit drawing?" (This was math class, not art.) My son's reply was always the same "I don't know, I was just mad." So in order for us to develop ways to prepare for stressors, we made a daily journal of everyday activities. By doing so, this helped me recognize a pattern so I could communicate this to the therapist and they could find a way to help my son cope with the stressors. We kept two journals; one my son did as the person who is experiencing the situation and my self as the parent to help him see when he wasn't handling the situation well.

Some triggers we found were: noise, bright light, lots of people in a small area, non- routine issues, difficult people, being told what to do, the word no, disappointment, and loneliness.

1. Noise: sometimes our birds (cockatiels) will chirp a lot while my son has music on. So we are working on when he hears them chirp he needs to go outside, take a walk, or call a friend to get his mind off of what he considers noise.
2. Bright light: There are days when he is very sensitive to florescent lights or sunlight. This usually tells me he is starting to cycle. So to help him he wears sunglasses and in the house we have blinds we can adjust.
3. People in small area: still working on this one. Still makes him angry and frustrated by all of the commotion and noise. This one will take a little time. However when applicable he has been taking his portable CD player and he is not as agitated. The rest of the above we are working on, especially when he feels lonely.

The main thing to keep in mind is that everyone is unique; what works for one person might not work on another. I know that anyone can learn to cope with stress and break out of stressful patterns or situations. One technique we use is a deep breathing exercise that helps calm him down in certain situations.

Time outs work well with all age groups. At my son's school he has a chilly pass if he is getting frustrated and is allowed to go to the councilor's office to cool down so he can return to his next class refreshed. (The pass I had to incorporate with the help of the therapist)

Keep in mind to set real expectations for your loved one and your self. One of the ways to let your loved one know what is expected from them is to write it out. Bipolar sufferers absorb information better when it is written out. I have a list of acceptable behaviors and expectations, as well as the teachers and my son has his own set for us as well.

Above all, do not punish yourself for making mistakes; you are going to make them. My son and I have learned to accept the imperfections of his disorder and along the way we step on a TAC. But we know to try not to take the same path again.
Relax and know that immediate solutions are not feasible, but baby steps are. My son and I take them everyday. Sometimes he takes off running, other times I have to coax him so he can regroup and go back to the baby steps. (Keep in mind my son is 15 and not a toddler) This is how we deal with the stress triggers for now. Tomorrow is a new and unique day. Everyday is a learning process.

About The Author

Stacey Adams supports her mother and child, both of whom have bipolar disorder. Stacey is a contributing writer for www.BipolarCentral.com.

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