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Loved One With Bipolar Disorder?
Discover How to Cope and Deal with
Your loved One's Bipolar Disorder
Do You Have Bipolar Disorder?
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With Your Bipolar Disorder
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And Support Your Child
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and
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You are Dealing with Bipolar Disorder
Drug Addiction and Bipolar Disorder
Secrets to Beating Drug Addiction
When Dealing with Bipolar Disorder
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Disadvantages of Bipolar Disorder Support Groups
- Bipolar Disorder support groups are usually held many miles away from
you.
In big cities, there may be more than one support group for bipolar
disorder, but even then, the closest one to you may be quite far from home.
In the country, there may not even be a bipolar disorder support group close
enough to attend. And if there is, it is still many miles away.
- Because they are, it takes more gas to get there.
In big cities, if a bipolar disorder support group is close enough, you may
be able to use public transportation; however, chances are this is not
possible for you. These days, with gas prices fluctuating wildly day-by-day,
and as high as they are, you have to take into consideration how much gas it
will take, and how much that gas will cost, to get you to and from the
bipolar disorder support group meeting.
- Because they are, it takes more time to get there.
Again, if the bipolar support group was close enough, time would not be a
problem. But in most cases, the group is so far away that it takes at least
30-45 minutes to get there and another 30-45 minutes to get home. In many
cases, it takes even more time. So you have to decide if this extra time is
worth it to you or not.
- Bipolar Disorder support groups are always held at night, when you are
the most tired.
Bipolar disorder support group times may vary, but usually they start at
7:00 pm. In summertime, this may not be a problem as far as being able to
see, but in wintertime it may be a big problem for those who have trouble
seeing in the dark, as both going and coming from the bipolar disorder
meeting will be during the night. You also need to consider that this time
is also at the end of the day, when you are the most tired.
- Bipolar Disorder support groups almost always start later than
scheduled.
I have never been to a bipolar disorder support group meeting that started
on time. Never. There is always much confusion and disorder at the beginning
of the meeting; and the facilitator of the bipolar disorder meeting has
problems with controlling the group and getting them seated and ready to
start the meeting. In addition, I have been to bipolar disorder meetings
where the leader was consistently 5-10 minutes late, which was very
annoying, because I didn't think they felt the bipolar disorder meeting was
as important as I did.
- Bipolar Disorder support groups almost always end later than scheduled.
As in #5, I have also never been to a bipolar disorder support group meeting
that ended on time. Never. Again, in most cases it falls to the bipolar
disorder support group facilitator, as it is their responsibility to control
the bipolar disorder meeting, making sure everyone who needs to, gets a
chance to share, but also that the bipolar disorder meeting does not run
over the scheduled time. But what almost always happens is that some people
ramble on, and the bipolar disorder meeting goes late because some people
have not had a chance to share.
- Bipolar Disorder support groups are usually held only once a month or,
at most, twice a month.
Having "support" only once or, if you are fortunate, twice a
month, is not enough time, in my opinion, to be truly supported. Bipolar
disorder is a 24/7 disorder; not a once or twice a month occurrence. It
would be better if a bipolar disorder support group met once a week;
however, I have yet to find one that does.
- There is no support between bipolar disorder support group meetings.
Even if you do feel "supported" at the bipolar disorder group
meetings, you can feel very much alone between the bipolar disorder
meetings. Especially when they are only held once a month. In some groups,
albeit rarely, you may have a phone list of other bipolar disorder group
members; however, you may be shy or uncomfortable about calling them. Or you
may have no contact at all with those people in your bipolar disorder group
between meetings. This is usually the case.
- Bipolar Disorder support group meetings are usually disorganized.
Beginning with the confusion and lack of control at the beginning of the
bipolar disorder meeting and not starting on time, the lack of organization
may prevail throughout the entire bipolar disorder meeting. Too often there
is not even a topic for discussion, or the entire format of the bipolar
disorder group may even be just a "gripe session" from month to
month, rather than an informative presentation of new material related to
bipolar disorder.
- Too often bipolar support groups are more confusing than productive or
informative.
Again, as stated above in #9, too often a bipolar disorder support group
meeting will be more confusing than productive or informative. This is
usually because there is no set format-usually the only format is to go
around the room talking about how your month has been which, again, turns
out to be more of a "gripe session," or "group therapy"
than actual learning more about bipolar disorder.
- Bipolar Disorder support groups usually do not have free literature to
hand out.
Too often, the leader of the group is simply a social worker or therapist,
or even a bipolar disorder survivor themselves, who just leads the bipolar
disorder group as a form of therapy; rather than as part of NAMI or DBSA or
any other larger mental illness organization that provides free literature
to people with bipolar disorder.
- If bipolar disorder support groups do have free literature, it is
usually not the most up-to-date.
Even if the leader of the bipolar disorder support group does have free
literature, it is usually old literature. As stated above, if they were a
member of any of the larger organizations, they would receive the most
up-to-date bipolar disorder literature; however, if the format of the
bipolar disorder support group is more of a group therapy (which is the
norm) instead of an informative approach (which is more desirable),
literature is not a priority.
- Bipolar Disorder support groups do not have guest speakers.
Since bipolar disorder support groups have no membership dues and are not
funded by any outside organization, they have no money to pay consultation
fees for experts to come and lecture about issues related to bipolar
disorder. Doctors and consultants in the field of mental illness in general
and bipolar disorder in specific are usually not available or willing, nor
do they have the time, to speak before a bipolar disorder support group.
Thus, there are virtually never guest speakers at bipolar disorder support
group meetings.
- At bipolar disorder support groups there is usually no one who can
answer your questions.
Most of the time, the bipolar disorder support group facilitator is a social
worker or therapist, or maybe even a psychiatric nurse. Either way, he/she
is not one who is an expert on bipolar disorder but, rather, is familiar
with it as only one of a number of mental illnesses. Therefore, he/she may
not necessarily have the answers to your questions about bipolar disorder.
- At bipolar disorder support groups there is usually no format in which
to ask your questions.
The format of a bipolar disorder support group meeting, if it is even
organized into a format at all, is not one of a question and answer session,
so you will not usually be in a situation where you can even ask your
questions on bipolar disorder at all, much less expect to get an answer to
them.
- Bipolar Disorder support groups can be loud and feel overwhelming.
Many times, discussions at the bipolar support group meetings can become so
"heated" or out of control that it seems everyone is talking at
once, and the conversation level of the meeting becomes very loud. When this
happens, feeling overwhelmed is common.
- Bipolar Disorder support groups sometimes feel cliquish and unfriendly.
At some bipolar disorder support group meetings, you can go the entire
meeting without ever being acknowledged at all. Or you may be shy or
introverted, or unable to introduce yourself to others. You may find that
the other people in the bipolar disorder support group stand off to
themselves like a clique, and/or seem unfriendly toward you, or even seem as
if they are unwilling to accept you into their group.
- At bipolar disorder support groups, many times the topics do not apply
to you.
At one of my bipolar support group meetings, the entire meeting was spent
watching a video on electroshock therapy (ECT). I was not told ahead of time
that this would be the subject, or I would not have wasted my time and gas
going to the meeting. I was not interested in ECT at all.
- Bipolar Disorder support groups are usually made up of newly diagnosed
people with bipolar disorder.
It's hard to get support from someone who is just as confused and scared as
you are-much less a roomful of people who also have been newly diagnosed
with bipolar disorder and have all the same questions you do, and none of
the answers. It is a matter of "the blind leading the blind."
- In most cases, there are no bipolar disorder survivors who attend the
bipolar disorder support groups.
Bipolar disorder survivors have already found out what you are just finding
out; that in most cases, bipolar disorder support groups are ineffective.
They have moved on, getting their information from other means. So, in
general, bipolar disorder survivors are not at the support meetings to help
those who are newly diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
- At bipolar disorder support groups there are no "success
stories" willing to be mentors for the newly diagnosed people with
bipolar disorder.
As stated above, bipolar disorder survivors most likely attended bipolar
disorder support groups in the beginning and found them a waste of time, so
you will not find them at the bipolar disorder support group meetings.
Unfortunately, that means there are no mentors to help teach the newly
diagnosed people with bipolar disorder, leaving them to learn everything on
their own, the hard way.
- Bipolar Disorder support groups too often end up being just a
"gripe session."
As stated several times, the format of most bipolar disorder support groups
is not one of teaching, offering instruction, answering questions, providing
guest speakers or experts, etc. Unfortunately, most times a bipolar disorder
support group meeting is usually more of a group therapy format, which turns
into more of a "gripe session" than anything else, and where
nothing productive is accomplished.
- At a bipolar disorder support groups, there is usually not equal in
time spent giving each person a chance to speak.
At a bipolar support group, you will usually either find the same people
sharing every week, or you will notice certain people who, when it is their
turn, tend to ramble on and take up more than their share of time.
- At a bipolar disorder support group, many times those needing to
share are not given the chance.
This is unfortunate, as it means that a person who really needs to talk at
the bipolar support group may not have the chance to. Also, as stated
before, it means that the bipolar support meeting will definitely go later
than scheduled.
- At a bipolar disorder support group, too often the "leader"
is ineffective,
allowing people to stray from the topic.
Unfortunately, too often the "leader" of the bipolar support group
is not a leader at all, having problems keeping order in the bipolar support
group, making sure people don't talk too long, and making sure people stick
to the topic, if there even is a topic (which there usually isn't).
- Often there are personality conflicts, causing tension in the bipolar
support group.
Not everyone can get along with everyone else. This is as true in a bipolar
disorder community as it is in any other community. However, in a smaller
group setting, such as a bipolar disorder support group setting, personality
conflicts can be more obvious, causing tension in the bipolar disorder
meetings, which makes it harder on everyone else in attendance.
- Because of the bipolar disorder itself, there may be people acting out
their mania in the bipolar disorder support group.
By the very nature of bipolar disorder, there may be times that bipolar
disorder sufferers are actually in an episode while attending a bipolar
disorder support group. Although a bipolar depressive episode would tend to
make the person quieter, a bipolar manic episode would make the person very
disruptive, and possibly even violent-a danger to himself or the other
people in the bipolar disorder support group.
- At a bipolar disorder support group, there is usually a general lack of
control over the meeting.
This is a general statement that goes along with several specific statements
already made about disorganization, lack of topic, lack of guidance, lack of
leadership or ineffective leadership, etc., at a bipolar disorder support
group.
- Unfortunately, you usually feel worse when you leave than when you came
to a bipolar disorder support group.
Because of the format of going around the room sharing what their week/month
was like, and the natural tendency to focus on the negative, most times you
will feel worse when you leave than when you came to a bipolar disorder
support group. Even if you had a good week, the other people at the bipolar
support group will tend to bring you down, rather than you bringing them up.
- More often than not, you feel as if attending the bipolar support group
was just a huge waste of your time.
In my opinion, this is the worst thing of all. It is the sum of all the
other disadvantages combined. You probably arrived at the bipolar disorder
support group with a positive attitude (or at least one of hope), and left
with a negative one. You probably had expectations of the bipolar disorder
support group that were not met. You probably had hoped to get questions
answered, but found you didn't even have the chance to ask them, much less
have someone at the bipolar disorder support group to answer them. You spent
all that time, energy, and gas going to a meeting where you hoped to find
comfort, understanding, fellowship, solutions, and hope for the confusion
and fear of the horrible disease you now have a name for-bipolar disorder.
You had hoped to find someone who knows how you feel and could tell you what
to expect next, teach you how to cope with it, tell you how they made it
through. But now you feel worse than before, and more alone than ever.
That's why I think this is so tragic.
With the advent of places like bipolarcentral.com, some of these needs are
being met. Where once it was highly recommended that a newly-diagnosed patient
with bipolar disorder attend support groups, they are now being directed to
internet websites such as bipolarcentral.com, where they can get the information
on bipolar disorder that they need, as well as the support. When people with
bipolar disorder visit bipolarcentral.com, they find that they are no longer
alone.
About the Author
Michele Soloway has dealt with bipolar disorder from a very young age. Her
grandmother, mother, herself, and her teenage son all have the
disorder. She also lost her sister to suicide because of bipolar disorder.
Michele has a blog for bipolar survivors at http://bipolarsurvivor.blogspot.com,
and is also a contributing writer to www.bipolarcentral.com.
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1-800-273-TALK (8255) |
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